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Especially with the shidduch crisis and all, this seems like a very proper opportunity.
If you marry someone who is not frum or wears pants, there is a very good chance that they will become frum. So maybe you should have in mind for kiruv and marry them?
After all, chazal say that the reason Dina was raped by shechem is that Yaakov didn’t want to marry her to eisav, and if he had, maybe eisav would have done teshuva.
So think about it. Why not go for a non-frum guy.
Why not go for a bas Eisav while you’re at it?
Popa, what if she wears pants and is morbidly obese? Perhaps you can convince her to dress tznius and diet – 2 mitzvos for the price of one!
popa_bar_abba,
If you marry someone who is not frum or wears pants, etc.
I think this thread was intended as a joke, but I still want to point out how close minded the Chareidi community is for equating a girl that wears pants to someone who is not ‘frum’.
NO, NO, NO
Really bad Idea. never marry someone under the hope that you can “Change” them or “fix” them. Really don’t do it. Even if they become somewhat more frum for a while the first sign of trouble and the resentment will pile on. Really bad idea.
OR – and it’s just a thought – she could influence YOU to be less frum? Hmmm… isn’t that one of the reasons that a child born of a non-Jewish WOMAN is not Jewish (because the religion of the mom influences the household?)
Why does wearing pants make a guy not frum?
I married someone who wears pants
Wasn’t Yaakov Avinu punished because he did not want Deena to marry Eisav? I think any non frum person is better than Eisav who was a murder.
Syag: I intend to marry someone who wears pants too.
But I’m not doing it for kiruv reasons. I won’t let them wear a skirt even if they want to.
Marriages where one party thinks they can redeem another are doomed to fail. It is very important for people to be on the same page religiously in a marriage.
if you get a girl with pants, should the guy wear a kilt?
I had a friend years ago who was of scotts background (and Jewish) he had a matching Tallit and Kilt. It was a sight.
Actually a great kilt probably requires tzitzit.
Doesnt everyone marry for kiruv?
A person should not marry for the sake of another person making them better, per se. A marriage should involve 2 people who are complete, independent individuals.
rebdoniel
“A marriage should involve 2 people who are complete.”
Our sources teach us that a person is in fact incomplete and only half a soul until he/she gets married. Marriage completes and unites the 2 halves of the soul into one unit.
That is not an ironclad an idea as you think and it is also potentially a very dangerous idea.
rebdoniel
For those who practice Orthodox Judaism and believe in the Zohar it is quite ironclad and there’s nothing dangerous about it.
Belief in the Zohar and danger? Hmm. Now there’s an intriguing idea.
Since when is belief in the Zohar synonymous with Orthodox Judaism? Lots of Orthodox Jews believe in its teachings, however, plenty don’t. R’ Yaakov Emden opposed it. The Hatam Sofer believed it was not written in the time of Rashbi. Certainly, Rav Kafih, zt”l, author of Milhamot HaShem didn’t believe in it, either (my father’s great-grandfather, IIRC, was fairly close to the Dor Dai’im in Yemen).
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