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B”H I would like to commend the vast vast majority of Frum Yiddisha vaibelech who take their new husband’s last name upon marriage. I want to make that point clear, that by far the vast majority do the correct thing. Nevertheless, I feel it necessary to protest even the insignificant minority who don’t follow this derech, lest they c’v make any beachhead in the Torah machne.
I know Gedolei Yisroel across the board — most recently Chacaham Ovadia Yosef shlit”a — have spoken out against the feminist practice of a married woman maintaining her maiden name or using a hyphenated surname. Nevertheless, it can’t hurt to raise further awareness on this issue.
I know some professional women who since they already work choose to continue to work under their maiden name and not go through the hassel of changing their licenses to their married name, however they did take on their husbands last name officially.
Whatever. It’s meaningless.
Eeees chose to take my name when we got married, but it would have been fine with me if she kept hers. It didn’t matter to me either way.
The Wolf
edarhurst, can you cite the mesorah for this? You are talking about a Gentile last name. For thousands of yers Jews had no last names, just mosehe ben Avraham or Leah bas Moshe. Marraige didn’t have any effect.
Jews didn’t take last names until the last 200 years.
Even the feminists that keep or hyphenate their maiden name generally give the fathers last name to their children.
Gabbo, so what’s your point?
Sigh.
Having last names, especially of the kind we mostly have today, is not a Jewish practice.
Taking a hyphenated last name is no more Goyish than taking on a husband’s last name.
I rarely see hyphenated names, but there’s nothing particularly wrong with it. When someone is called up to the Torah, we use the father’s name. When we make a misberach, we use the mother’s name.
“Gabbo, so what’s your point?”
My point simply was that as much as the feminists demand to wear the pants, the child’s gotta have some last name. So what are they gonna do? Hyphenate the kids to? And when those kids get married to another hyphenated spouse, will the now wife and grandkids have FOUR hyphenated last names? And the next generation eight; etc. So they realize the absurdity of their quest.
I kept my last name! Woohoo, another YWN no-no.
To those quoting Rav Ovadia – do you/your wives wear sheitels?
My kids have my husbands last name.
If anyone is interested in my reasoning, there were a few:
1) My father has no sons, so I wanted to keep up the name a little longer
2) It requires a ton of paperwork change and I hate paperwork
3) We got married while in college. We were in the same classes, same friends, same professors….I needed my own name. Now its on my degree, it doesn’t make sense to change
4)I am rather attached to my name – I don’t like my first name, but I do like my last name
5)And most importantly, I really don’t like my husband’s last name. No one can pronounce it and everyone thinks he’s chinese. I need at least one name I like.
One woman refused to take on her husband’s last name, citing the fact that she wanted her own name, not that of another man. But, she was reminded, her own last name was her FATHER’S last name. That ended the discussion.
Question: Why was my commment censored? It was polite, contained no profanity and nothing even mosherose could consider kfira!
oomis, it was still the name she was given at birth. It is HER name.
I know of a frum couple where the husband didn’t like his last name – so he took his wife’s last name instead!
Taking a husband’s last name is a GOYISH practice!!! It was FORCED upon Jews in Europe! A Jewish woman NEVER changes her Hebrew name upon marriage. This is one more example of creeping assimilation.
Why did they post your response, which was almost identical to my censored one? Do they actually respect a phd and tenure here despite all the protestations to the contrary?
I was wondering if anyone knew whether or not R Akiva Eiger had a psak about this. After all, he took his wife’s last name, if I recall correctly.
No. Eiger was his mother’s last name not his wife’s. His father’s last name was Gins and his wives’ last names were Margolies and Feibelman.
We never even used surnames until relatively recently (early 19th century) – at least Ashkenazim didn’t. Indeed, if the woman was supporting the family (common among bnei Torah) a man was sometimes know as “[woman’s name]-man.” A woman’s Jewish name never changes (always her personal names and her patronymic). I don’t see how there can be a halachic issue here.
Practically, it is useful to conform to the local custom, especially in dealing with insurance companies and schools, who really like the name of the student to match the parents (or the name of the insured to match the person under whose name the policy is held). But that’s practical.
Was Eidel the Maharshas mother or mother in law?
“Do they actually respect a phd and tenure here despite all the protestations to the contrary? “
I do have a PhD but I don’t have tenure, which is going the way of the dinosaurs.
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