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Some people wonder, what’s a good age for people to marry? A good age is when they feel mature enough to take on the responsibility. Some people might pressure individuals to just go ahead. But people really have to be mentally and emotionally ready to take that step. Some people mature quicker than others and can do it fine. Others, need more time to figure things out and grow, before going ahead. People, especially young individuals, need to understand it’s not fun and games, it’s a process of working on commitment and devotion to each other. If one doesn’t totally comprehend that yet, then it’s better for them to wait until the right time. – If they are being pressured that it’s harder when they are older, they should try to have bitachon that the right one will come at the right time.
Antoninus’ daughter got married at six and bemoned the fact that wasted three years in her father’s house, sinse she could have married at three.
If people waited until they were mature enough to get married, they would be too old to have children. Therefore we must accept that for some reason Ha-Shem wants children to get married while they still are acting like children. If Ha-Shem wanted people to be mature adults when they got married, puberty would be about 40, and childbearing would be at the age we typically are becoming grandparents.
In fact there is a good argument to be made to the contrary. If both are teens, they will be getting married during a very powerful bonding period. They are both not fully hardened in their ways and can grow together. When older people get married it is harder for them to bend personalities.
I overheard someone saying that for his daughters he looked specifically for boys who are not mature. (I think he succeeded.) It surely sounded weird to me, but it has some merit.
Chazal give good advice. (On this matter, as all matters.)
All well and good, but you people aren’t the ones dealing with sholom bayis issues. Those who do (at least in the American Yeshivishe velt) recommend that the boy be at least 22 (obviously there may be exceptions).
The Torah says that girls dont need to get married. But, boys have a Chiuv to get married. The Torah says boys should get married by 18. Yes, what your saying is a good idea. But, at the same time why not get married and have kids and have them serve Hashem and do His Mitzvos?! I like the idea about people getting married at a young age then they have more kids doing more mitzvos!!
I am twenty one i went out with one girl and decided even before the first date that if she is not the right girl i am going to wait a while before i continue.
I will be twenty two on may thirteenth.
My parent said that I should start dating this summer…I dont think I want to yet…WHy start so early I am in no rush…My zivug isn’t running away…although if she is desperate I wouldnt want to cause her pain of course….WHat do you have to say yeshiva world?
dhl: Wow, we share a birthday (although not the same year, I’m quite a bit older than you!)
the chofetz chaim shita is 23-24 for a boy
Men have a mitzvah of pru urvu so don’t want to marry a girl who is 40. Also, they have issues of hirhurim so shouldn’t wait until they are older themselves.
It could be that it is better for men to get married younger and struggle through a few years of marriage until they mature in order to avoid hirhurim. That being said, if they are at a point where they are still so immature that there is a high chance of the marriage ending in divorce then obviously that would defeat the point.
sm29, I’m wondering, are you speaking from experience as someone who got married young/old? Were you born in 1929 or are you just perpetually 29 years old? 🙂
My zivug isn’t running away…
There are many possibilities of who to marry. You probably won’t marry the girl whose (father’s) name was in the bas kol.
People are not as mature as they use to be.
Well, then they’d better get married right away before they turn into babies!
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