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you’re allowed to lie for Shalom.
That is incorrect. The story with Rav Moshe proves it. “If she doesn’t ask don’t tell”. That does not say “if she asks say I DIDN’T”. It’s more like ?? ????? ????? ???? ???
you’re allowed to lie for Shalom.
That is incorrect. The story with Rav Moshe proves it. “If she doesn’t ask don’t tell”. That does not say “if she asks say I DIDN’T”. It’s more like ?? ????? ????? ???? ???
Good diyuk.
However, you’re allowed to lie for sholom.
an altah bochur who… would tell his wife
That guy is such an oxy-moron.
popa- you are allowed to lie for Sholom, but not if it is a situation where you dont HAVE to do that specific thing. In this case he doesnt have to drive her.
DY, it depends on the kugel and the other woman.
I think Aharon HaKohen’s lies for Sholom were “temporary”, meaning once peace was restored if and when the average person found out that the other party didn’t actually want to make peace and beg forgiveness first, he most likely wouldn’t mind but be happy peace was restored. That’s the classic example of lying for the sake of peace.
This is planned lying with the pretext of peace when in reality igniting war if it backfires once she finds out. So here’s where the common sense comes in… And most likely she will find out if it’s a long term thing. That’s without discussing the other risks involved in this scenario.
popa- you are allowed to lie for Sholom, but not if it is a situation where you dont HAVE to do that specific thing. In this case he doesnt have to drive her.
Do you know that’s the halacha, or are you theorizing how you would make the halacha if you were Hashem?
Whats with the title of the thread?
That would be a whole different deal
And I’m postulating that this is not lying for Sholom because the risk is greater that lying here will bring acrimony rather than peace.
If being allowed to lie for shalom applied to every situation where lying makes things easier for you, you would lie every day.
Do you know that’s the halacha, or are you theorizing how you would make the halacha if you were Hashem?
HKB”H didn’t lie to Avraham for sholom, he merely didn’t repeat everything.
When Yaakov misled Yitchok about his identity, he said it in a way which was not an outright lie, but had two connotations.
So we do, in fact find that even where it’s muttar to lie, it’s best to minimize.
Whats with the title of the thread?
That would be a whole different deal
Why is it so different?
Actually taking a female coworker to lunch is a seperate issue
What if you are taking someone to lunch as a business lunch in order to discuss some sort of business (Alot of business deals sort of work on informality and personal relationships..ie people only buy from people they like)
There are also company lunches in order to create some sort of comadary and make a better business environment
I would tend to think a group lunch with 20 people is very different than a one-on-one lunch.
ZD: Just because it is done doesn’t make it Halachikly Oisgehalten. ‘People do it’ doesn’t right away mean they are correct. As you point out, the purpose it to create a ‘Personal relationship’ which is precisely what we are trying to avoid.
Personal relationship here does not mean anything “against halacha” . It more means, you get along, ask each other about your families maybe shoot the breeze and then get down to business (Down to Business does not mean anything against Halacha) it means REAL business like in buying and selling.
If you come off as cold and hard , you wont get the business
No. The goal is not to create a personal relationship. The goal is to create a professional relationship.
im getting concerned. why is the op so desperate to give this lady a ride?!
The OP is a nice person and the lady is desperate.
If she is a frum lady she will understand.
Just tell her that you and your wife discussed the matter and you felt it wasn’t ok.
If she asked one time when she was stuck- I hear.
But to ask a man for a ride to work every day is totally inappropriate.
She can bus or taxi. Or get a ride with someone else.
Do not through your shalom bayis and neshama out the window
” leshem shamayim”
no response at all from op.
I do not believe the story about Rav Moshe zatzal.
I do not believe the story about Rav Moshe zatzal.
I saw it happen. Only it was a little different how it happened.
It wasn’t Rav Moshe–it was my friend at shul.
And it wasn’t kugel–it was his 14th shot at the kiddush.
Also saw it happen.
Only it wasn’t Rav Moshe-it was the creepy guy at work
And it wasn’t kugel–it was the lady he was carpooling with.
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