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Where to start?
How about everyone put down contacts (ones that are public and known just others dont know to look for them) of people to go to speak to etc when starting the process of shidduchim.
For example You might say:
In lkwd: there is an org called kesher (in fact I think they are also in other places) where you meet a few shdchanim at once and they know the lkwd boys.
In Balt: Rebbetzin Berkowitz as well as others. (put them down here if they are public and want to be known only)
Please try and find out if you arent sure and you think someone may mind being listed on this shidduch process help thread before you post them.
You can let us know how it worked for you b/c some ppl are new and dont know where to go and who to speak to. Others have tried the big big ones and are at a dead end. so lets help e/o out with what we know! thanks!
Deal and brooklyn: molly haber, rabbi choueka, deborah chehabor, cheryl faeina…
To answer the title of this thread – Yes.
invei hagafen deals with older singles and has a referal service to another shidduch organization affiliated with chai lifeline for people with medical/genetic issues.
for m/o sfardim who are into the computer there is a service called sephardic link. it’s nothing like j date you put your resume on line then it is reviewed by a panel of shadchanim and rabbis and then they search their database for a potential match, and then it works like a standard shiduch. you get a call, you ask some questions, agree to meet, etc..
Mrs. Richard on 47th street in boro park…orhtodox, heimish, as well as chasiddish.
mrs. czermak – far rockaway – modern orthodox, heimish,
Here is my onfo if you are a shadchan:
Name: Azi
Home: Large NY Jewish Community
Yeshiva: Yes
Beis Medrash: What else would I do?
Shul: Orthodox (at least the rabbi is)
Siblings: Too many
Plan: Depends who’s asking
Education: Hashem Yishmor
Contacts: Don’t bother, their my friends, i’ve lied for them too
If you are a shadchan in from the following locations, don’t call me: Baltimore, Las Angles, Miami, Chicago (unless you are in the nursing home business) or anywhere else that’s outside of my four block radius.
Thank you, Azi
BS”D
Much hatzlocho, Azi. I am sure your basherte is very close by but you may have to extend your radius one block east and two blocks south.
“Saw you at sinai”: don’t know how it works, but know some singles who used them.
Syrian, I know all those ladies personally, and I think you should have asked their permission before giving their names out.
shidduchimlist.com has contact numbers for yeshivos
Azi: at least provide us with the important info!
Plastic or china?
Laced sheos or slip ones?
Azi: you also forgot to say if you shop with a wagon or carry everything (especially since everything is in a 4 block radius.)
Also, we have to make sure your great, great, great, great… grandmother covered her hair in whichever shtetl she lived in.
These are the most integral pieces of information we would need. Then we might start suggesting.
hey curious, i’ve never heard of the shoes question before! but i don’t get it- which one is supposed to be frummer/better- lace up or slip on?
Curious, lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
~a~
quote “hey curious, i’ve never heard of the shoes question before! but i don’t get it- which one is supposed to be frummer/better- lace up or slip on?”
Seriously speaking, that is the best part of the question, When speaking with references one should try to ask questions in a fashion in which the one being asked does not know what answer the questioner is seeking.
When I was doing research for a bochur who wanted to learn, but likes taking time out to do chessed, I was asked to make sure the girl would not think the guy is not serious in his learning were he to take a seder off to check the local eruv. Rather than asking if she would be okay were he to do chessed at times (obviously a leading question) I asked if there were a situation where a chesed arose which could be done by someone else would she prefer her husband be in the yeshiva learning or go do the chessed. Two people ducked the question then asked me what the proper answer is. My response “THE PROPER ANSWER IS WHATEVER THE GIRL WOULD HONESTLY WANT!!”
Nevertheless, the shoes question is one of the most ridiculous ones out there.
Maybe we should inquire about all her shoes 😉
AL2,
My great grandmothers were from Poland and Russia so they probably didn’t wear shaitels.
JayMatt19, then you’ll NEVER get through with the shidduch. the girl will be 50 by the time you’re done counting her shoes… never mind all the questions…
azi, correct. In Poland and Russia our heilige bubbe’s were more likely to wear shpitzels.
the shoe question is —if he has laces–its bittle zman bec hes wasting time to tie them
but if he has Velcro hes lazy
its up with the crazy questions
If he has laces – he’s wasting precious time from what could be spent learning.
If he has slip ons – he’s lazy!
I got asked by a shadchan – On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate your frunmkeit?
BS”D
The only time crocs are mutar (except Yom Kippur and 9 Av of course) is if you go to the men’s mikveh and you want to be sure that your toes are not exposed after you toivel, thereby voiding the tevila.
asdfghjkl, I think you might be heading into violation territory by asking for personal information 😉
Anyway, any chance we can get this back on track? Kind of off the point here
JayMatt19; me askin person info on this thread??? where???
BS”D
Come to think of it, there is a new shidduchim site that is available with one of the filtered services and that requires:
1) Pics of all shoes owned by all potential shidduch partners, male and female, as well as pics of same putting on and taking off said shoes.
2) Pics of all tablecloths owned by parents of all potential shidduch partners and candid shots (permission must be given to have a photographer enter the home 10 mins before shkia) of tablecloth used for Shabbos.
asdfghjkl quote “JayMatt19; me askin person info on this thread??? where??? “
the emperor’s new post
Itzik- off topic, the thread might be closed now
~a~
On a way more serious note, I think the best shadchanim can be found by word-of-mouth. Shkoyach, I’m hesitant to name private shadchanim’s names on this site, both because of my own and their own privacy.
One thing that I’ve learnt the hard way, if you meet the shadchan personally (forget the pics) the suggestions will be a lot more on target. There’s nothing like a 3 minute personal meeting for the shadchan to get a feel for your personality.
the emperor’s new post
JayMatt – I like that line!
JayMatt19; i got no clue what ya talkin about!!!!! yada yada yada!!!!!
anonymisss: said my earlier post got deleted, & i have only a short term mrmory!!!
JayMatt19: lhai just remembered my post!!!!! yeah maybe too personal there!!! sry anonymisss!!!!!
I have heard even “better” questions than the shoe laces and table cloth questions.
Does the boy/girls family have ketchup on their shabbos table with their coldcuts?
Where does the mother place her candels/leichter on the shabbos table or on a seperate table?
What color is the girls kitchen?
What size is the girl? If somebody asks me that question again I will ask the person what size pants is the boy.The boys relative dosent want a “fat” girl.Well guess what I dont want my cousin/friend/neighbor to marry a “fat boy”.
I get more crazy questions coming from the boys relatives than from the girls
ive gotten crazier but they wouldnt be approved
BasYisroel2: welcome to the coffee room!!! do we know ya as a differant screen name???
BS”D
My favorite question comes from the Ku Klutz Kartel shidduch handbook – “Make sure you find out what hashgocho is on the kerosene that her father uses to soak the tzioinishe flag before he burns it on yom haatzamois!”
i’m no fan of long posts, but i dug thru old emails to find this & only after saw how long it was!!!! btw i cut half it out!!!! mods plz let this go thru!!!!
joke Shidduch Resume:
> Summary and Personal”
> Yichus: Father is a yeshiva educated day trader who learns
> two daily
> sedarim in BMG; has been previously investigated by FBI for fraud but, never did any jail time; big baal tzedaka who has been honored by BMG twice
> mother is a retired BY teacher; youngest child with four brother and 11 sisters all living off of the Lakewood General Fund
> mechutanim from Brooklyn;
other pedigree relatively clean, except for a 4th cousin, once removed who attended YU and is now a successful
Ophthalmologist in Teaneck
>Parents looking for: solid learner from Brisk or Lakewood with neither a history of college nor foreseeable parnassa plans who will sit in Kollel indefinitely;
>she is looking for the same;
>father willing to support 10 years @$75k per year, pending no stays in Otisville
> Appearance: dark hair with standard BY hairstyle;
> 5’4″ with dress Size 2
> (Mother’s size after her seventh child: Size 8
> Shadchan: Mrs. Peloni of Lakewood (25% commission)
>
> Dating History: has gone out a few times with no measurable
> success;
> feedback from Mrs. Peloni points to her having the charisma of a carrot
> Education
> K-12: Bais Yaakov of ????
> Seminary: BJJ
> Post-Seminary: Online program to obtain teaching
> certificate from Torah Umesorah
>
> Work Experience
> 1996-1998: Counselor in several backyard camps in Brooklyn and Lakewood
> 2006-2008: Teacher’s aide in BY of Lakewood
>
> Tehillim: completes Sefer once a week while standing in line at Jewish stores
> Posek: Rav C. Kanievsky or Rav Elyashiv if his line is busy
> Internet: only with Torahnet filter on Tati’s business computer
>
> Use of a community Eruv: never (she’s looking for Brisker, remember?!)
>
> Indian Hair Sheitels: only if on sale
> Hobbies: reading Artscroll biographies, Yated, Hamodia, & Mishpacha;
> Her Preferred Dating Venue: Airport lounges without visible TV monitors
> Ideal Wedding: Chossen and Kallah adopt demeanor combining themes of Tisha B’Av and Yom Kippur; eyes-closed Tehillim throughout ceremony;
> kibbudim called up in Yiddish; separate everything including parking;
>no Only simchas posts
i think i just read a cute 1 last night on here somewhere i have no clue where let me try to find it
maybe it was in the humor thread? let me go copy and paste it here
ames: yes ya could say LOL to my post!!!
coke not pepsi: hilarious!!!! i can’t stop laughing!!! but some of those things i felt was highly inapropriate for the YWN CR!!!!
Lol…This is pretty old but I still laugh everytime I read it…
Joseph,
Once againg you have proven yourself to be clueless. Frum married women in Russia, Poland and Lithuania did not cover their hair all together. It is a historicall fact you can not deny (well, you can, but anyone interested in the truth can’t). See the Aruch Hashulchan who paskens that hair in longer a dover sheberva, since woman don’t cover it anymore. Today of course it has reverted back to being a daver sheberva.
I can’t list names, but some of the most famous rabbonims wives, you learn their s’forim, did not cover their hair.
i didnt write it —it was posted b4 on here
BS”D
WE DO NOT pasken from practices of older generations in oppressive and impoverished lands! Sometimes things were not done behiddur because there was no money to do it! Do you think anyone in post World War 1 Europe could buy a shaitel?
Nevertheless, Chassidishe women most certainly did cover their hair in Europe – with whatever was available.
my answers:
5) What do you do to relax?
Wonder what it would be like to relax in front of a TV
6) How much food do you need to be satisfied?
I usually purge afterwords so doesn’t matter.
7) What are your eyebrows like?
Burnt off after a havdala candle accident
8) During the Oscar’s, you are:
wondring why MBD is continuously snubbed for best male performance
9) Are your suits:
sleeves to long, hem to short
11) How many outfits do you go through on Shabbos?
Usually change my tie about once a shemitta (still knotted from 14 years earlier)
12) How much time do you spend doing your hair before a date?
Doesn’t take that long to smooth 4 ouces of gel into my hair, so probably 10 minutes, but of course then it takes time to realize i made a huge mistake and wash it out.
14) What brand of make-up do you use?
anything that has a chassideshe hechsher (preferabbly glatt)
ok enough im tired
azi: ha i’m laughin so hard!!!
i always wondered you don’t jewish singer get awards!!! they should have a JMA Award Show-jewish music awards show!!!
BS”D
5) What do you do to relax?
Relaxing is an issur skila medeoraiso.
6) How much food do you need to be satisfied?
I am so busy learning I need to be reminded to eat.
7) What are your eyebrows like?
How should I know? I have not looked in a mirror since my bar mitzvah because using a mirror is a sign of gaava.
8) During the Oscar’s, you are:
What is this Oscar’s? A tryfe delicatessen? Stop with this bitul toyre and find me a shidduch so I can go back to day trading….I mean learning.
9) Are your suits:
Black, down to my ankles, with no pockets except the one inside where I keep my watch and the white powder my chavrusa gives me to help me stay awake and learn.
11) How many outfits do you go through on Shabbos?
One reckel for the cholent, one for the kishke and one for the kigel.
15) What would you buy with a $100 gift certificate to Macy’s?
I’d sell it for $200 and give $10 maaser to myne Rebbe!
azi: you’re hilarious.$
BS”D
Girl for my answers would be:
5) What do you do to relax?
I never relax because I help my mother cook and clean whenever I have spare time and I’m not busy helping people fill in WIC applications at the local Ershte I Help Myself office for 20% of the take.
6) How much food do you need to be satisfied?
At least a thousand dollars’ worth.
7) What are your eyebrows like?
Ask my stylist whom I sneak off to see on Fifth Avenue when I’m supposed to be in Byse Cholerye seminary because is not git enough myne English to describe how she puts into them the gold dust.
8) During the Oscar’s, you are:
The only Oscar I know from is Oscar Meyer that myne fetter the butcher relabels as Mehadrin Glatter than Glatt and sells to everyone who isn’t from inzerer.
9) Are your suits:
Silk Prada or Zegna that myne tatte relabels as junk so he gets them through Customs for five dollars.
11) How many outfits do you go through on Shabbos?
Each time I pick up one of my little brothers or sisters and they even kiss me I change my clothing and also my shoes so maybe tzein, tvelf.
12) How much time do you spend doing your hair before a date?
I never do it myneself. I fly mit a helicopter tzi Manhattan fin Roklend Kounty and den back for the beshow.
14) What brand of make-up do you use?
Whatever tatty brings back from Duty Free every time he comes back with a new passport from fleeing the country but i only use stuff that costs over $300 even there.
To asdfghjkl: Thanx for the warm welcome!No I dont have any other screen names.I have posted previously on some older posts on YWN before the YWN coffee room came into existence.I wonder if the YWN editor took this coffee room idea from BMG?
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