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When making a Litvish wedding in Israel, where both sides split costs, what is the accepted norm for choosing the following: (Does the kallah’s side choose and then basically informs the chassan’s side, is it an equally shared choice or primarily the kallah’s side’s choice?
(Assume that there is an agreed upon budget so that if it is the kallah’s side’s choice they would be working within the agreed upon budget.)
flowers/centerpieces
invitation/bentcher
city -Let’s say they are in or near Jerusalem (Beitar, Beit Shemesh, Telzstone) and the kallah’s side wants Jerusalem but the chassan’s side wants a 4 piece band (and are willing to pay the additional cost) or the chassan’s rav/rosh yeshiva doesn’t allow a keyboard in Jerusalem so they want Beit Shemesh/Kiryat Sefer/Bnai Brak to have a keyboard) [Note that weddings are not made in Beitar and Telzstone and few yeshivish weddings are made in Beit Shemesh] Also work on the assumption that to make it outside of Jerusalem is a big hassle for the guests and some will not come and many others will have to find rides and/or the chassan and/or kallah’d side will have to organize a bus at their expense and force the guests to come and go at a specific and often inconvenient time.)
hall
date for wedding
caterer
menu
tablecloth colors
Skip it all get eloped.
Just did that. Wasn’t makpid on a thing and it was a peaceful and enjoyable experience for all:)And when I helped my sister get married, anything extra the other side wanted that there was no money for, they paid for.We were lucky to deal with Baalei Midos,it’s true, but please remember: peace is paramount. Had they insisted on fitted orange gowns, I may have argued, but what else matters that much besides the chosson and kallah being happy?
Listen to The Goq.
You”ll never regret it.
I thought I was answering your question. My son got married in Israel this year,b”h.I let the family who LIVED there make those decisions, agreed with them about the date,and helped in whatever ways I was able. “Norm” is what makes both sides happy,is not outrageous or unreasonable,and makes sense based on who lives where,etc.
Skipping the whole thing is good advice, but it would create s new shidduch crisis, since half of women only get married to have a wedding.
Veltz
Lololol
In the olden days.the couple got married Friday or Friday night,no? A nice seudah, leibidig dancing, and everyone went home. Is that accurate? (I read it somewhere)
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