Limericks!

Mazel Tov on the wedding,

remember to bring with you bedding.

Give someone the map,

while you take a nap,

when to Baltimore you are heading.

limericks are hard why are we here

i opened this thread while batting a tear

i really like the poetry thread

“so ill go back” is what i said

but the poetry thread was abondoned as i fear(ed)

Yossi,

Anyone have a better ending?

thus keeping my brain from shrinking?

SG,

Thanks

daas yochid you really have a skill

you can rhyme for parnassah and bill

believe me you would make a lot of cash

youd have a whole big stash

but im not so good so ill pop a pill

Yossi,

It seems I can not stop thinking

At this limericks a-making

Anyone have a better ending?

A tip; sometime with a good rhyme it’s hard to find a good third match – so try switching it to the 3rd and 4th lines. For example:

I found something at which I thrive

to write a good limerick I strive.

I’m constantly thinking,

while eating and drinking,

how to do rhyming times five.

Shticky Guy, chayav inish livisumay, smartcookie,

You’re making it hard to stay humble,

although my words I often fumble.

And I’m even worse

when not talking in verse,

I then badly stammer and stumble!

Yay! I got approval from daas

😀

At first I didn’t frickasee*

But now that I do see

How to rhyme

And do it in time

I will now say wheeee!!!!

Lol 😀

*if at first you don’t fricasee fry, fry a hen

Daas: the whole point was that it was my fifth limerick (though each “stanza” is five lines …)

This is fun! I am so glad I got “roped” into this!

Blinky you are mistaken

GD forbid I should be claimin’

365 as mine

Twas just keeping time

And now let’s keep on playin’

What I would like to see

Swinging from a tree(?)

A yoda’s rhyme

From star wars time

Now what does that make me?

Here is an oldy

Adjusted to not be moldy

About a guy

Who went to lie

In bed as an old fogey

It’s raining, it’s pouring

The old man is snoring

He bumped his head

Went back to bed

And didn’t get up ’till morning

Today for lunch I had spaghetti

it took half an hour to get ready.

I sometimes eat fish,

as my main dish,

but pasta is more of a steady.

We now have reached page number six,

on the thread which contains limericks.

Come one and come all,

’cause we’re having a ball!

Join us for your daily fix!

Off to brooklyn I go

Homeward bound, hey ho

Then off to bed

And maybe my head

Will start it’s spinning no mo(re)

If you’re looking yourself to amuse,

And are not sure which website to choose,

There’s one most terrific,

I’ll be more specific,

Log onto Yeshiva World News.

The above mentioned site it contains,

Threads of fashion, humor and campaigns,

I’ll discuss it at length,

If to read you have strength,

And you wish to make use of your brains.

There is one particular thread,

Where some are just too scared to tread,

Its for only the gifted,

Who feel uplifted,

By showing that they’re miles ahead.

It must be the limerick competition,

Where those who have skill and ambition,

Can prove their great strength,

By discussing at length,

Any topic of their own volition.

So click on it now and peruse,

To read our opinions and news,

And once you’ve meandered,

And seen our standard,

You can then try to send us your views.

From the opening poster called blinky,

To regulars eclipse, oomis and smartcookie,

most posters inspire,

And you can admire,

Latecomers DY and Yossi Z.

Lets see who’s gonna be next,

At getting us smiling or vexed,

So if you are smart,

Please come & take part,

Reply now and post in your text.

The answer, B-Y, to your quest,

which you only made in jest:

in our names, words two,

but just one for you.

You thus differ from the rest.

On abbreviated screen names for Blinky,

You said you cant have but lets see,

By your name does appear,

The sub Blinquie so its clear,

That from now you’ll be known as BB!

I was sure when I started my list,

There would be obvious names that I missed,

So I apologise,

To those talented guys,

It was an oversight I insist!

So sorry to you chayav inish,

I re-read my post with astonish,

I did add you 1st time,

Then reworded my rhyme,

I must buy you a bottle of Glenfiddich.

I did not include minyan gal,

I wait for her without mazal,

She has talent real decent,

But nothing of recent,

Which is a tremendous chaval.

Regarding my dear Mod 80,

He said he finds this thread too weighty,

So him I did not write,

Not at all out of spite,

It is nothing personal, matey.

Regarding leaving out flatbush dude,

I’m sorry that I was so rude,

You have also been quiet,

A limerick diet?,

What’s up? Are you not in the mood?

To anyone else that I missed,

Its not fair that you I dismissed,

You are all just great,

And have added real weight,

To this thread so keep on and persist.

Hooray for daas yochid

Trying to help every yid

Who posted here

To be fair

Now everyone can have a bid

As I go on with this ode,

We’re proud that this thread,

has no loshon hora said,

mutual respect always showed.

his limerick to read we were craving;

but it was aborted,

and now we feel shorted,

to avoid a lie,

“Ken Zayn” that I am a naysayer,

a nice rhyme he did,

This poem has taken a week,

I think that enough I did speak.

I can take my pension,

once I do mention,

Now I must this poem conclude;

I hope I was not misconstrued.

If I left you out,

please give me a shout,

and next time I’ll try to include.

Good night to you, my dear Yoss,

go to sleep without making a fuss.

Although you’re inspired,

you must be real tired,

from yesterday’s trip on the bus!

I hope that the chasunah was nice,

and nobody slipped on the ice.

Outside all is frosted,

and I am exhausted,

so for tonight, this will suffice.

Daas I just realized

Why you made your rhyme

From the time

I made mine

It became second to one

Oh my! Look at the time!

The fault now would be mine

Go now with speed

For I need

To wake up before nine

Limericks wane and wax

Don’t worry I’ll be back

After shul

And then school

At more I’ll give a crack

Here I have one more

To add to my six score

We have abunded

Reached 400

Please let’s see some more

(Okay, okay I’ll go to sleep now! Lol)