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Posts
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I walked a few miles today
I hope some weight went away
Wouldn’t it be neat
To just press DELETE
And NEXT and then OK?
(Select number of pounds you wish to DELETE PERMANENTLY)
I’m gonna start a Fat Gemach
You’re welcome to drop in
Take all the “pounds”
Weighing me down
So I can just be thin!
P.S. Is exaggerating for a limerick muttar?
Blinky- that limerick is amazing! Luv it!
blinky,I agree!
Those computer ones were great. Here’s a fantastic math one. Get out your calculators and try it!
A dozen, a gross and a score,
Plus three times the square root of four,
Divided by seven,
Plus five times eleven,
Equals nine square plus zero, no more!
Shaitel Exposes -cleaning much Faster
Solutions for the Shidduch Disaster
A sort of accurate psak Halacha
Tips for the biggest Hanacha
My favorite thread is credited to Shticky
Although I confess my tastes are not Picky
But when the choice is between
News, Gossip or Daily Routine
I missed the eclipse that was lunar
I wish I’d awakened much sooner.
But I was so tired
That in sleep I was mired,
And didn’t get up until noon-er.
It is a matter of great pride
That to all limerickers I confide
I have found a good place
In the thread thats most ace
I no longer just look from outside
The posters in this Limerick race
Show a really advanced knowledge base
So I’m happy it to promote
Though the last ones I wrote
Were just after my school relay race!
Its now like a proper affliction
And I hope this wont cause family friction
Cos I cant get enough
Like tobacco or snuff
I’ve developed a real addiction
I have stopped all my work philanthropic
And started to seach microscopic
For limericks that click
Like a conjuring trick
Keeping this the top discussion topic!
I do exaggerate just a bit
Cos it doesnt take long to submit
A few short words of verse
In which I can disperse
A few lines of rhyme complete with wit!
*Phew!*
Yippee for the weather forecast
Dont look at me so aghast
I wont bat an eyelid
If you call me a kid
But I tell you I’m having a blast
From my yard’s edge to hedge
I’m gonna make you a pledge
I will have the best fun
As I try to outrun
All my neighbours on my daughters sledge
For all of you who have a fear
Dont worry I know how to steer
I will be in a trance
Cos this is the last chance
Of me playing with some snow this year
In the unfortunate absence of Minyan Gal, (where are you?), Minyan Guy will have to step in so here goes:
In the sedras of ???? and ????
The jews had a ????? ?????
??? went to the nile
And ???? he did rile
When he asked to be let out ?????
In this weeks sedra called Bo
He again asked “Let my people go”
Cos if you dont then takker
You’ll receive another makka
But the stubbon king just said “NO!”
So H’ sent in swarms of locust
that covered th ground like dust
They came with a gale
Eating what remained from the hail
???? said Please remove them, you must
So ??? davenned and they went
and ???? he tried to repent
But he could play no more part
cos H’ hardened his heart
So to free the Jews he could not consent
Next came darkness – no sun’s rays
And beleive me it was more than a haze
The dark they could feel
It was such a big deal
That no Mitzri could move for 3 days
FInally ??? did warn
Of the killing of every 1st born
Bloody doorposts showed whose
Were the homes of the Jews
Every Mitzri, even ????, did mourn
???? ran out in his night dress
But couldnt find ???’s address
SO the kids they did play
Sending ???? astray
They had fun with his Royal Highness
Suddenely ??? he found
But when he said GO NOW, ??? frowned
They went only next morning
???? chased without warning
And into the Yam Suf they drowned
The lesson from all this is clear
At my limerick dont sneer but cheer
Writing this is gr8 fun
SO come on everyone
But please dont put it off till next year!
Wow shticky guy- that was some some limerick!
It’s definitely the one I’d pick
You have a talent that shows
From your head to your toes
You really are a guy that’s shtick!
Thank you both for your kind words
They were among the nicest I’ve heard
But dont you even dare
To just leave it there
Pls send in again and seconds and thirds!
When Coffee Room posters don’t click
And I get kind of tired and sick
I run helter-skelter
Looking for shelter
In this lovely thread, with a limerick!
A wonderful sight met my eyes
It was a fantastic suprise
Its been so quiet for a while
But limericks are now back in style
And the best ones for sure are Shticky Guy’s
To his poetry i was humming
And couldnt stop my feet drumming
You have a great gift
So dont cut us adrift
Shticky Guy please keep them coming!
The reason for quiet, is clear
Our people are nervous, I fear.
New topics are needed
And caveats heeded,
To not critique posts that appear.
Did you go to the concert of Hasc
I couldnt so I want to ask
Did it compare
With a previous year
Did Lippa behave or make a trask
Were the majority of songs fast or slow
Were they new or from a long time ago
Did they have a cantor
Or maybe an enchantor
Or was there a different style of show
Is your best singer Shwekey
Or do you prefer YBC
its a matter of opinion
But for me there’s no dimyan
The king has to be MBD
Sticky, that was great, as usual!!
When I saw Hasc’s ad, I said IM GOING
Didn’t care if it was raining or snowing
But I remembered too late
No more tickets under the $500 rate
I was all upset and blowing 🙁
“Wow! such great news.
To oomis and her crews.
Lots of hatzlacha.
On this beautiful bracha.
A wonderful addition to the Jews.
Not quite a limerick, but a nice sentiment. “
So nice of you. THANKS!
the month of adar is fast approaching
and the topic of drinking is broaching
chayavinishlivisumay
is a chiyuv that the rabbis say
so tell ur parents u dont need coaching
Drinking too much is no good
Though on Purim some hold that you should
but please be wise
on this day of disguise
and don’t drink more than you could
Everyone says don’t drink and drive
If you want to stay alive
But this needs ink:
Don’t drive to drink!!
And sober you will home arrive.
A warm welcome to ticheled pink
You wrote a gr8 limerick i think
Some people are too shy
I cannot understand why
Treating limericks like a slippery ice rink
You need just to utilise your kop
To come up with stuff that is top
Simply think for a while
Then start writing with guile
This will yield limericks that will not flop
So come and write something specific
And become another limericker prolific
Just be a bit shrewd
And you’ll be a cool dude
Posting in lines that are just terrific
to u drinking is not allowed
bc of ur children u r proud
but please u should really stop to think
it may be good for your kid to drink
on the one day that its allowed
My dear Chayavinishlivisumay
It sounds like to you Purim is THE day
Drinking wine, whiskey or liquor
Until absolutely shikker
Its a chiyuv, its a mitzva, you say.
But remember when you drink your l’chaim
To behave as Yaakov asked Menashe and Efraim
So go have a great time
But remember this rhyme
And your deeds should be sincerely l’shem shamayim!
msseeker,nice!
No need tobe wise
Its what the rabbis advise
Ur allowed to drink all u wish
Till ur drunk as a fish
So I won’t listen to ur cries
You might faint of shame
At the end of the game
By whatever you did while shikur
Since “nichnas yayin
Yaytzay sod”–no lyin’!
So go easy on the liquor!
let ur kid drink all day and night
its not worth putting up a fight
plastered, hammered or trashed he will get
so u might as well let
so to all u against drinking go fly a kite
When times start to get tough
He starts to take some puff(s)
But it doesnt give him what it did
When he started as a kid
So he turns to hard stuff
chayav what kind of messages are u sending
bad hashgafas u are lending
all u think abt is drink drink drink
but maybe u shud stop to think
cuz a lot of ppl you are offending
chayav….you took that straight from the other limerick thread.Who wrote it?
i wrote it in the other thread but it was closed because there is a limerick thred already so i copied it to here
Chayav,why is MY thread “depressing”
When drinking you are always stressing?
“Candy is dandy
But liquor is quicker”
BUT LIFE GOING BY IN A BLUR IS DISTRESSING!
We can’t figure out who you are
So I will go out on a limb pretty far
To tell you:Not fine
Are obsessions with wine
I know many lives ruined by the bar…
eclipse those rhymes were pretty witty
but u i really pity
cuz its a great fealin
when you r way above the ceilin(G)
in a whole different city
thats what ints like when ur drunk
cuz getting drunk means u have spunk
its a feeling worth having
cuz all day ull be laughing
JUST CUZ UR DRUNK DOESNT MEAN UR A PUNK
Thanks, eclipse. Here’s another one, dedicated to the CR posters:
Let me put in my two cents
I learned from you ladies and gents:
The grass is not greener
Nor the laundry cleaner
On the other side of the old fence
I remember Purim in my Yeshiva days
Nothing people said could us faze
Cos we bochurim knew best
So to hell with the rest
We continued with our rowdy ways
.
We felt that we bochurim were elite
So we behaved as we wished in the street
Purim was all about us
So why did guys make a fuss
If we were drunk and made children retreat
.
All was muttar cos we were not boys but men
But when we looked thru Purim pictures in our den
We saw guys lying in vomit
Like they’d come from another comet
And we vowed that we’d never do it again
.
As Hashem’s sons we hadnt behaved
We had acted too wild and depraved
To shout and to jeer
To jump up and to snear
It wasnt the result we had craved
.
So in future Purims we acted
In a way that was much less distracted
We still always had a blast
Our fun was still unsurpassed
But from everyone else’s day we hadnt detracted
“Time to find a shidduch”, said Bubby
Who you will proudly call dear hubby
I hope it’ll be great
Your very first date
Just assume its Marriott’s Lobby
mods why do u allow cursing in the posts??????????????????
This is limerick number 297
we’re almost in 7th heaven
a very special number
will appear so dont slumber
if you do i’ll be very unforgivin(g)
We’re up to limerick 298
you know something, I really cant wait
we are now so near
in the thread I hold dear
I’m writing them out in a spate
Its limerick 299
in this favorite ywn thread of mine
I exclusively disclose
as i do compose
I tell you its really divine
“We’ve arrived! We’ve arrived!” I thundered
so just in case you wondered
please give a big cheer
because now we are here
at LIMERICK NUMBER THREE HUNDRED!!!
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