Limericks!

“Tefillah is so very holy,

So make sure to say each word slowly,

Say every letter right,

Even when time’s tight,

And please help me out with this last line here….. “

smart cookie – the best I can do for a last line is:

And at kiddush you’ll eat roly-poly.

I know it is a little lightweight for the depth of the subject but I cannot think of anything else to rhyme with holy/slowly.

I sincerely apologize for my mis-spelling of YisGadol. I think many of the pronounciation issues arise from the breakneck speed at which many services are davened – particularly Ma’ariv as everyone is in such a hurry to get home.

These limericks are so very funny

I would not trade them for any amount of money

But I feel quite alone here

There’s no one in school here

would someone help me please?

Bracha, your poem’s in need

Of some work to be done with great speed.

Some lines were not rhyming

And off was your timing,

But your efforts were well-meant indeed! 🙂

Oh Bracha dear,

You really don’t belong here,

Such a young yiddish girly

For the internet you’re too early

Rather learn, study, and take care.

ICOT- thanks!

listen, my entire world has internet, had I not been introduced to it, yes, I probably would have been better off.

BUT

I’ve never gone on Facebook

I get my tehillim names online

I’m HERE

and yes, most of the ppl I know have facebook, twitter, and everything else accounts which I don’t have

I forgot to mention – please check the “Composed Songs” thread. The other day this ridiculous parody of Yankee Doodle popped into my head and I have made a lot of crazy verses for it. I keep adding them and I invite you to do the same – we can aim for composing the longest song, ever. It is very easy – simpler than limericks for sure.

I haven’t been here very much

And feel I’ve been out of touch

My back’s been sore

I’ll say no more

To bore you with my woes and such.

I can’t believe we’ve had so much snow

At least its not forty below

It will be quite soon

Just about one more moon

And on my vacation I’ll go.

An aliyah I think I will make

But mine will kind of be fake

Instead of Yisroel

Which really would be swell

Miami’s the route I will take

Because this week’s seemed very long

I’ll greet Shabbat with joyous song

I’ll welcome the coming night

With the glow of candlelight

And hope to be with friends among.

A peaceful and joy filled Shabbat to all of you.

Wow blinky that’s nice! It’s making me auto calm and relaxed!!!

Blinky I really do! It’s cute! Now a Chanukah Limerick? Nobody?

This has similar ideas but its not the song:

Just can’t seem to figur things out

Things aren’t rollin the way they shud

Minds all clouded I duno wat its about

Heads on fire I wud smile if I cud

Ain Od Milvado He’s got it in control

U just do his ratzon and then things roll

Ur heating depression is His fleeting test

Evry little thing that happens is the best

UR best interest not anyone beside

Give it some thot let ur heart decide

It won’t take long

To realize ur wrong

And all thots are long gone

Except for one song…

Ain od milvado hashem is one and true

And His entire world was created just for you

All the mountains and the trees

And that perfect cool breeze

Its all from the One

All for You- his precious son

sorry im not exactly sure if this is the right thread for my songs… im not exactly sure what the rules of “limericks” are

Limericks are not songs, but you write well.

The rule of a limerick is that the first two lines and the last line all rhyme with each other – the second two lines are shorter and rhyme with each other. The last line is usually a “punchline” of some sort, but not necessarily.

L’lovod Chanukah

We lit Ner revii tonight

The flames are so shiny and bright.

With great jubilation

And much celebration

I sure am enjoying this sight!

No offence but this is getting kind of pathetic,

Not that i’m trying to be a critic,

Yet at once this must stop,

Or i will pop,

there crazy things you call a limerick!!!!!!!!!!

(I’m actually NOT AT ALL against this i find it very amusing but that was the first limerick i wrote and i had no other topic in mind

but i actually think it’s pretty decent!!!)

Blinky – Thank you!!

The end of Chanuka is near,

It won’t come again for another year,

So pack in those parties,

*omg i need help…

I went shopping to get us a wick

and didnt know which ones to pick

cos from floor to the door

he had varieties galore

so i took multicolored for a shtick

Then I looked to buy some olive oil

And made sure also to get foil

Cos otherwise my wife

Would make difficult my life

If my Shabbos room floor did spoil

It is now Zois Chanuka

I’ve had no mess from my menora

But my young daughter Fraidel

Still loves cheating by dreidel

And always wants the biggest latka

Now cos I am such a smartie

And am also exceedingly arty

I dont want to boast

But I’m making the most

Unparalleled Chanuka party!!! 🙂

For limericks i have a feel

So it really was not a big deal

To make up this one

I had lots of great fun

And I’m proud of your approval seal

You’re so right Shticky Guy,

This thread was dead, “sigh”,

So prepare your pen

and use your talents again

And keep this thread very high.

like coming back from the dead

this fun limerick thread

What a pleasant surprise

met my inquisitive eyes

I couldn’t believe what I read

If new posts you always seek,

Then you cant not post in for a week,

So lets rack our brains,

Before this thread wanes,

Come on ‘Limerickers’, dont be so meek!