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Fine, I think I will try again
Im not a limerick gal, my friend
This may be fun
For everyone
But songs are much easier to blend
Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack Quack
You’ll never guess who is back?
For now I’m here
But leaving for a year
Since the Coffee Room is still out of whack.
The Coffee Room has too many rules
And lost most of its prized jewels
So I say “Hello”
Now I gotta go
But I wish you all a Happy April Fools
(And a Gutten Chodesh!)
No, I couldn’t write a limerick or rhyme
as I once wrote before, way back in time
but who says we’ve lost
the jewels who were crossed
maybe just changed names – IT’S NO CRIME
welcome back! A blast from the past whoa
1. There once was a man named bashere
whose problem was he couldnt hear
in his town of telz
they didnt have belz
so his door read “bash here for bashere”
2. I have an old friend, a good man
who had a very large wing span
every day in a tizzy
he would get home real dizzy
from his job as a human ceiling fan
3. One day a picture was blamed
for a crime, “I’m innocent” he exclaimed
next day he was jailed
but justice had failed
because you see the picture was framed
4. There once was town called new york
were everyone loved to eat pork
they ate with a hand
and thought it was grand
till someone discovered the fork
5. I have quite a good friend named ike
but thank g-d we look nothing alike
though it does him no harm
having his ears on his arm
you should see what his glasses look like
6. His familial mutations are keen
though alway seem to cause scenes
his friends went on rants
cause he never wore pants
you seen gene had jeans in his genes
7. he found a way to make flower growth spike
by attaching them to the wheels of a trike
some found it real funny
his trying to make money
peddling his petal pedal bike
8. I know an old pirate named mos
who had hooks for his fingers and toes
it was all going okay
they never got in his way
Till one day when he picked his nose
9. and then there was that other shnook
who had utensils instead of a hook
as a pirate he stunk
cause his weapons were junk
but he sure made one heck of a cook
10. don’t forget about the captains daughter
when there was no wind, she did what he taught’er
she would stand by the sail
and sneeze out a squall
cause you see she was allergic to water
11. so now its time to bid adieu
as they set sail ‘cross the ocean blue
when you see them a’coming
know that laughs are forthcoming
at the captain and his weirdly shaped crew
There once was the Sun
Put in the creation
It moved away
So our hearts began to stray
But yet we are still a nation
There once was a man named bob
He liked corn on the cob
He liked it with salt and butter
Ans so he used to mutter
“For corn on the cob, a bank would I rob”
GA – GREAT stuff.
There once were some folks in CR,
Thought THEY wrote the best stuff, by far.
Their lines often lacked
Some panache and/or tact,
Keep your day jobs, whoever you are! :p
Ok, Oomis, I got the hint
My stuff aint worth a mint
So maybe I should stop
And the fabulous CR drop
My “input” is not going to print
Little Froggie, I don’t think I meant you
And surely I wouldn’t prevent you
From writing whatever
Is well-said and clever,
(And with that, a Good Shabbos I bensch you!!!!)
Malbim,
I don’t want to move to Austin,
I’m happy to stay here in Boston,
though I might move to Texas,
if you buy me a Lexus,
with free kids’ tuition tossed in!
Daas Yochid, just visit Austin,Tx
I said I do not want to go,
unless you will cough up some dough.
So stop being funny,
and show me the money,
’til then, emphatically, NO!!
DaasYochid, please visit Austin,Tx.
I repeat, I refuse to get lost in
the furnace you like to call Austin.
There’s one little chance,
that DY recants;
but a pretty penny it’ll be costin’.
DaasYochid, just try Austin,Tx and u will be liken it.
I’m not going to the land of the cattle,
despite your endless prattle.
So go on about Austin,
but me, you’re exhaustin’
So I’m gettin’ out of this battle.
(I’ll save you the trouble, though – DaasYochid, just try Austin, Tx.)
DaasYochid, here is proof Austin,Tx is great : Sorry, no external links
read and weep.
Can’t be bothered reading the rest of this thread so sorry if this has already been said:
A flea and a fly in a floo
They were stuck, so what could they do?
“Let us flee,” said the fly.
“Let us fly,” said the flea.
So they flew through a flaw in the floo.
What’s with this aversion to Austin?
It’s no more a challenge than Boston.
So go South or East,
I don’t care in the least,
And now my opinion, I’ve tossed in.
I have to admit that it’s true,
What you’re on about I haven’t a clue,
Coz reading this thread
As I’ve already said
Is something I don’t plan to do.
I’m about to sign off for a long while
But I ask you all to go the extra mile
if it’s not too much
please keep in touch
My contact info is in my profile.
A lot of people who are out cleaning will be very sorry they missed you!
Dr. P, you it is always nice to see
Going the extra mile for you is the least we can do
Giving the personal touch is not asking for much
Soon I’m going to be a limerick writer, so I better not retire
There is so much that I have to say,
But I’ve got meetings the whole day,
I hope to be seen
On April Fools 2018,
Since April 1st next year is a Saturday.
I’m about to sign off for a long while
But I ask you all to go the extra mile
if it’s not too much
please keep in touch
My contact info is in my profile.
On April Fools we always see,
the famous Dr. P.,
with rhymes so insightful,
cute and delightful,
though only once annually.
But now a horror is seen,
he threatens to be so mean!
Please, sir, don’t rob us,
Post on Motzaei Shabbos!
So we can see you in ’17.
April Fools is Limerick day?
With Dr. Pepper the poetry star?
I’ll enter the fray
Just so I can say
That 2018 is too distant and far
The Queen, I like your poetry
But I can see
that you either have rhyming flaws
Or you don’t know limerick laws
(Just like me)
I googled the limerick laws
I see now my rhyming had flaws
I’ll try it once more
And this time for sure
My poetry won’t be so poor
I counted the syllables carefully
And managed to mess up so awfully
The rhymings not great
I hope it’s not late
To fix up my limericks artfully
One day I dropped an egg.
It landed on a keg.
All over the kitchen it did splatter
Some in my mother’s cake batter,
And on my brother’s leg.
Princess Plony won her sixth grade limerick contest with that one two years ago. Not bad for a sixth grader.
Another one of her gems:
There was once a lad
Who was very bad.
He never did tie his shoe.
On his teacher’s chair he put glue.
And boy was she mad!
very nice Mrs. P. Enjoy the nachas!
Haiku to Ms Plony
Ms Plony’s Daughter
Has great poetry talent
Wishing her Nachas
I’m awfully tired tonight
I’ve cleaned till it’s all done just right
Next week we’re cooking
Toward Pesach we’re looking
When everything’s gleaming and bright
Thank you Queen; thank you golfer.
The kitchen is being invaded
With shmattes and soapsuds it’s raided
Can’t wait to finish
Oh how I’ll relish
To know that I finally made it!
Now we are truly up to the cooking
Sauteing and frying and baking
compote and cupcake
soup, kugel and steak
I’ve got volunteers for the tasting
In our house the children are packing,
their tummies with loads of good snacking,
theyre dreading the hour,
when gone is the flour,
and all their best junk foods are lacking.
now dont think i cant cook or bake,
there’s lots of great foods that i make,
but those who like munching,
can’t do without crunching,
and they wont do with shehakol cake.
Now don’t think we don’t have the bread
It’s all in the entrance instead
Chametz we’re munchen
Just not in the kitchen
We’re busy preparing a spread
limerick ahein
limerick aherr
if I knew how to make ’em, I’d have a good career
Once again I’ll try my hand at rhyme
Though I miss the mark half of the time
My thoughts keep on coming
The metre I’m humming
This lack of content is really a crime.
I’ve jumped in the fray once again
I now type, no longer use pen
Thoughts must be concise
You can’t do this twice
This separates boys from the men.
My favorite all-time limerick:
I sat next to the Duchess at tea
Uncomfortable as can be
For her rumblings abdominal
Were simply phenomenal
And everyone thought it was me
How can all of we mortal persons
Be in two different places at once?
The answer’s quite clear,
For I’m CR posting here,
Though I’m sitting in class like a dunce.
I’m composing a new little ditty
So this name will show up bright and pretty
I’m giving a bump
To the top it will jump
So you’ll all the chance to be witty.
I forget this thread existed! I see I posted here, I have no recollection of it though lol. Great to have yo back!
There once was an old man, a bit weird,
Who said “It’s just as I feared”,
Two Owls and a Hen,
Four Larks and a Wren,
Have all built their nest in my beard.
there once was man named Yiddle
who lived to play the fiddle
but when he would play
they all ran away
so they wouldn’t let him in the band
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