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To the CR I am kind of new,
and posting alot I don’t do,
but then I saw this thread
and fell right out of bed
and I knew I just must add a few.
(Here is a limerick according to the style of Dr. Seuss)
There once was a man from Xan Xu,
who just didn’t know what to do,
he had a pet florenge
that swallowed an orange
and now was a fla flee flo floo.
So while some think that Seuss was the best,
I don’t think he passes the test,
His words all made up
without using his kup
to ryme one of his words with the rest.
Now that the New Year’s arrived
I’m so glad that this thread is revived.
YomTov brings much work
Duties we cannot shirk
So I am happy that “Limericks” survived.
Tsu alla a zeesen gut yor
We’ll maintain friendships as before
We shall traverse the miles
With our keyboards and smiles
And maintain CR manners so nobody’s sore.
For Shticky Guy – an entertaining tip
So your hosting skills, they do not slip
You won’t get un-nerved
Remembering what you served
Keep notes into which you can dip.
(whenever I have company, I write down who I had, what I served, the occasion, the color of the tablecloth and what the centerpiece (if any) was – I know what I served to somebody 15 years ago.)
mg, you’re the Queen of organization
Probably in the whole entire nation
But notes in which to dip?
I prefer chumus with my chip!
Unless I was plotzing with starvation -??? ?????
Your question is not heretical
It is just quite intellectual
Just go to some lengths
To focus on your strengths
Pray your weakness be less detectable
The context of the above is found here:
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/asking-mechila-of-kids#post-309072
To all of my friends building booths
Some unfortunate yearly, sad truths
Just as soon as you’re done
The rain, it will come
And become gravy upon your roast goose.
No matter if Sukkot is rainy or fine
I send this message to your house from mine.
Have a Chag that is healthy
The year should be wealthy
Parnossah and joy should be thine.
The message is good from Hashem
Gilad will be home once again
He will finally do a brocha
With his entire mishpocha
We need to daven for all IDF men (and women, of course).
blinky: love it!!
THANKSGIVING
They thank once a year
over a turkey dinner and beer
for all the country’s good
especially all the food
which eventually their theighs will wear
But not the Chosen Nation
who expresses his elation
for all that He has given
Our gratitude towards Him
We express EACH DAY in prostration
BaalHabooze welcome to Limericks
You fellow full of liqor and tricks
Its a great thread although
Of late its been real slow
So come here and your name we’ll affix
“We express EACH DAY in prostration”?
That was a puzzling revelation
We prostrate just a smidgen
Unlike another religion
Boy, I’m real glad for this limitation
Unless you were thinking of ‘bow’
More than that my back wont allow
Without some exercise
I will agonize
My body will protest, and how
Minyan Gal, Smartcookie and Blinky
Without you this thread it did shrinky
If I give you a poke
Will you think it’s a joke
Or will you come turn this page from a dinky
After Havdalah and smelling some clove,
I’d like to wish all a Shavua & Chodesh Tov,
Great to be back on this page
Haven’t posted limericks in quite an age
Now back to washing dishes and scrubbing my stove!
there once was a troll
who had a mole
he was hairy
he was scary
he had no soul
I so love this time of year
the leaves-sprinkled streets and cold autumn air
Am I the only one?
that is having so much fun
taking in life’s beauty, over a cold glass of beerhttp://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/
The colors of fall makes its theme
yellow, orange, and red, replacing green
my garden’s a delight to see
bedecked in the season’s finery
till my wife handed me a rake and said, “Go clean”
i will contribute a line or 2
to this thread for all of you
had a nice week here once again
reading posts every now and then
but gotta run & get dressed
for the Holy Day of Rest
for if not now then when?
When writing a good limerick
Here’s advice that I do hope will stick.
Keep up with the meter,
The words will sound sweeter;
And of compliments, you’ll have your pick.
Hey, WB to all limerick old timers
And hello to all, you new rhymers
But where’s Minyan Gal
Didn’t hear from her in a while
Did she go join some mountain climbers?
there once was little old a man amed joe
whos favorite drink had the same name you know
he drank all day
till his face turned gray
and this just goes to show
hey moskidoodle, sounds like my old uncle in jail
who’d drink till he turned completely pale
he’d continue even while drivin’
till police finally brought him in
Now all his booze is up for sale
There once was an old man from Esser
whose knowledge grew lesser and lesser
it at last grew so small
he knew nothing at all
and now he’s a college professor.
Happy finals week everyone.
thank you izche for the funny lim-er-ick
now its time for me to pray that he picks
the questions i know
and synapses flow
and the professor is not a nitpick(er)
home stretch of info, here i come!
Oh, how I hated college and school
I was known as the dreikup, the letz, the class fool
All the work that I did
Was ridiculed and derided
How I grew up to be half-normal is a question
That I will answer so pay good attention
With a strong will to succeed
Nothing can stop you indeed
Ok, alright, not really a CEO
But a boozer I will forever be
And I FEEL rich and live happily
🙂
A warm welcome back to BaalHabooze
I was sorry to hear of your news
That your son he was ill
And was in hospital until
You came back here to share out your views
During your absence I can say
That I also have stayed away
Because I was depicted
As being addicted
A title which really doesnt pay
So for now I just occasionally lurk
And get on with my life and my work
It was a great fight
To keep off this site
Which brings knowledge and many a smirk
Now for some limericks, aha
Apart from the weekly Parsha
We can write of the glory
Of the ancient story
Of the festival we call Chanuka
It was an amazing battle
The mighty Greek army did rattle
Antiyochus the thug
Overlooked an oil jug
And of this great Nes we do prattle
That amongst the great fighting and turmoil
That did the Beis Hamikdosh embroil
When the Maccabees did yearn
For pure shemen to burn
They discovered a sealed jug of oil
there once was a boy named zevy,
who was not at all heavy,
he learned all day,
and got no pay,
because he was a kollel man
ooooohhhhhh, he was a kollel man
oy yoy yoy yoy yoy yoy yoy,
oy yoy yoy yoy yoy yoy yoy,
oy yoy yoy yoy,
oy yoy yoy yoy,
and they wouldnt let him in the band.
I once had a teacher who was so mean
All he did all day is complain and scream
One day we had had enough
Of his strictness, so tough
So we filled up his boots with ice cream.
If donuts once a year would be our fate
Then we still would not gain too much weight
But Blinky you’re mistaken
For its not just once we’re bakin’
And we dont only keep 7 days but 8!
At least we have a valid excuse
For 8 days a gallon of oil to use
You’ll go straight to Gan Eden
If in oil you’ll be bathin’
So some more donuts do not refuse!
Hey blinks, Hi to you!
I’m still around but you’re taboo
From the CR you disappeared
Did anyone here get you scared?
Please come by more often than you do!
In a little basket a baby floated away
Yet though he grew up in royalty
Moshe expressed his loyalty
To his brethren who suffered all day
One day he found a bush on fire
G-d said, you I want to hire
So go spread the good news
It is time to lead out the jews
Our Torah tells wonderful maisos
Of the start of our Avos and Emahos,
But the point of each tale
Is how Am Yisrael
Were chosen by G-d to do mitzvos.
I made this one up a year ago
In the absence of recent additions, I’ll re-post one of my favorite ones from last year
In the unfortunate absence of Minyan Gal, (where are you?), Minyan Guy will have to step in so here goes:
In the sedras of ???? and ????
The jews had a ????? ?????
??? went to the nile
And ???? he did rile
When he asked to be let out ?????
In this weeks sedra called Bo
He again asked “Let my people go”
Cos if you dont then takke
You’ll receive another makka
But the stubbon king just said “NO!”
So H’shem sent in swarms of locust
that covered the ground like dust
They came with a gale
Eating the remnents of the hail
???? said “Please remove them, you must!”
So ??? davenned and they went
and ???? he tried to repent
But he could play no more part
cos H’shem hardened his heart
So to free the Jews he could not consent
Next came darkness – no sun’s rays
And believe me it was more than a haze
The dark they could feel
It was such a big deal
That no Mitzri could move for 3 days
FInally ??? did warn
Of the killing of every 1st born
Bloody doorposts showed whose
Were the homes of the Jews
Every Mitzri, even ????, did mourn
???? ran out in his night dress
But could not find ???’s address
So the kids they did play
Sending ???? astray
They had fun with his Royal Highness
Suddenely ??? he found
But when he said “GO NOW”, ??? frowned
They went only the next morning
???? chased without warning
And into the Yam Suf they drowned
The lesson from all this is clear
At my limerick dont sneer but cheer
Writing this is gr8 fun
SO come on everyone
But please dont put it off till next year!
good stuff, Shticky Guy! that was great 🙂
Blinks, don’t despair
Let’s bring the good old days back here
A new limerick every hour
So this thread won’t turn sour
For all limerick creaters, cheers!
i will try bl”n to contribute a lot
to this limerick thread, a topic so hot
according to rules they’ll be
to blinky’s satisfactory
throughout this cold month of Shevat.
mazel tov Aunt Blinky!!!!!
Blinky, a hearty Mazel tov
For the new nephew you’ll love
Does he have talent like you?
To create limericks from new
May he grow up to be an ehrliche rav!
Aunt Blinky a big mazeltov to you
On the birth of your darling nephew
It was gorgeous to hear
Of the news you did share
And we wish you your own simchas too
We’re now up to limerick 698
you know what, I really cant wait
we are now so near
in the thread I hold dear
I’ll write some more out in a spate
Its limerick 699
in this favorite ywn thread of mine
I exclusively disclose
as i do compose
Limerick writing is really divine
“We’ve arrived! We’ve arrived!” I thundered
so just in case you wondered
please give a big cheer
because now we are here
at LIMERICK NUMBER SEVEN HUNDRED!!!
***BIG MAZAL TOV TO OP BLINKY***
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