Limericks!

My Dear Shticky Guy,

I know you must feel bad,

And be real sad,

That I defeated you at your game,

And you are merely trying to keep sane.

Now please log out,

And when you regain some streghnth,

Look again at the count.

Then log back in,

And notice the overcount by one,

For those who posted unto this thread.

And good luck for the next game!

I’m sorry that I just upped and vanished

But the health of my back – it was banished.

Once again I can sit

At least for a bit.

But right now I really am famished.

Tomorrow I leave for vacation

To spend Seders with my relation(s)

Next month when I’m home

I no longer will roam

The Coffee Room’s now my vocation.

Hi everyone: Sorry to have dropped off the face of the earth. I had a back problem that had me laid up for well over 4 months. B’H

I am much better now and I have wonderful friends who did every speck of shopping for me for weeks on end as I was unable to drive. Although my back will never be better, a combination of medications has allowed me to resume my life. The only side effect is that I sleep much later these days and have been unable to make it to morning minyan for 7:30 AM. Hopefully, as the weather gets warmer, I will be back to all of my activities. I realize now that we must live every day to its fullest and not postpone anything – so if all remains well with my health, I hope to make my first ever trip to Eretz this fall. If anyone knows of any tours for older first timers, please let me know. I wish all of you a freilich festival of freedom. Shalom – until next month.

I’m beginning to feel very strange

Knowing how much I’ve shared,what a range!!

So my one request

Please be on your best

And don’t speak of me as deranged!!

By journaling here for awhile

I focused IRL with a big smile

Now it’s a “done deal”

Ahhh…some closure I feel

Looking forward to Pesach!!(Nile?)

This thread it is truly asleep

To find it I dug down real deep

Then to get it alive

Took First Aid to revive

Cos its lying at the bottom of the heap.

Over ???? no one had the time

For composing a limerick or rhyme

Due to cleaning we were busy

From 4 ????? we were dizzy

It was a huge mountain to climb.

Now I’ll put this thread back to bed

It seems enough limericks have been said

I’ll go join the debate

On sefira or William & Kate

But if YOU want to post here – go ahead!

PS MINYAN GAL ARE YOU NOT BACK YET?

If you go back 6 threads and give a ‘blick’

You’ll see back there minyan gal’s been sick

She said back then that she

Will be back one two three

After Pesach back to the thread that makes her tick

But cos posting of limericks now is rotten

Its been so long since her post that you’ve forgotten

So post verses that soothe

No rough edges just smooth

Like silk, velvet or satin without cotton

Shticky suffers from amnesia,

so here is one more just to please ya’.

This thread’s not robust,

not dead; it has just

a bit too much anesthesia.

My vacation is over – that’s all

And now I am feeling quite small.

I spent time with my eineklach

They are no longer kleineklach

At six foot four each, they’re not small.

To kiss Bubbie they bend over in half

And everyone gets quite a laugh.

All except for me

Because as you see

I can no longer give them a bath.

So instead of a sitter who’s strict

To the store I can them geshicht

They can both drive a car

And my chauffeurs they are

And Bubbie’s wee face is gelicht.

Hi everyone. I am just catching up and wish to thank you all – it is nice to be missed. I have been home for just a few days as I had to extend my trip as I picked up some eastern bug and the doctor wouldn’t let me fly. I promise to post some more very soon, but right now I am off to my shul – for the fund raising lottery and brunch. I know the food will be terrific, and I just need some mazel for the lottery. Efshar, I might have a chance as they have only printed 300 tickets and I don’t know if they have all been sold. Stay tuned for further developments.

Minyan Gal,

I hope you had some success,

You surely had fun, I would guess.

Did you win the lottery;

some cash or some pottery?

At least you had what to fress!

blinky

Whom are you calling “old timer”

I’m certainly not an “old rhymer”

I’m actually quite new

So “How do you do”

On this 26th day of the ????

AYC- you caught on real quick

Thanks for taking this thread as your pick

We can use some more rhymers

New ones or old timers

To make the limericks tick!

The kids need day camp for the summer,

But our cash situation’s a bummer.

A bank we can’t rob,

We just need a good job

O, why didn’t I train as a plumber?

Minyan Gal:

The tuition might not be too steep,

And the knowledge will be mine to keep.

Now, I don’t mean to shirk,

But words are my work,

And from Pepys to pipes’ quite a leap!

Minyan Gal:

If Sam P. had lived in our times,

He’d be blogging all day of his “crimes,”

But paper and pen

Made it much harder then

To record all his falls and his climbs.

Today’s instant gratification

Would have given Sam great satisfaction

But a new career path

That might involve math

Is for me not a good course of action!

But your encouraging words were so sweet,

An appreciative soul did they greet,

It was so nice

That you answered twice

I hope for you, talent and salary meet.

OOh, I am very red-faced

At the mistake accidentally placed

In last night’s verse

But it could be worse

No effort goes entirely to waste.

Someday “gratification” will be rhymed correctly,

The verse will be proofed circumspectly,

There will be no shame

In signing my name

To a line that rhymes AND scans perfectly.

Blinky, to your mussar I must awaken,

Chazal’s wisdom is never mistaken.

Our happiness grows

When our life goes

On the path Torah shows should be taken.

My friends, I am once again learning.

For more personal growth I am burning.

And now Chabad’s giving

The “Gift” of Shabbat living.

And for more Torah lore I am yearning.

I’m an early riser you know,

So early to bed I must go.

With Shabbat so late

I fear for the fate

Of my home – so I watch candles burn low.

So tell me please what I should do

When dinner and cleanup is through

I’m sleepy and tired

The flames aren’t expired

Kindly give a suggestion or two.

Go to a store you know

Purchase candles to glow

Divide each in half

I can see you laugh

They’ll be out when it’s time to go!

Or guests you could invite to your home,

If far from their own they must roam.

The only price

For your company nice

Is that they watch til the flames say “Shalom!”

For another good idea, you might say “thankee”

To a clever Yid, let’s call him “Yanky,”

One place you could light

Candles on Friday night,

Is, as on Chanuka, in a fish tanky!

It really would be just so fine

If all of us friends here on line

Could share one long table

If only we were able

To spend Shabbat together in real time.

I wish you a Shabbat of peace

Let all of your worries just cease.

With good friends around you

And food that astounds you

Let all of your mazel increase.

Shabbat Shalom to everyone.

I’m a day early, my message is good.

Tomorrow, no time for CR neighborhood.

My Shabbat wish: Shalom

For all in your home

And a prayer for Klal Yisroel if you would.

To the Moderator known as Twenty

This thread has limericks plenty.

They are easy to do

Like to polish a shoe

And with one click, off they are senty.

Re: my last limerick

Some of my rhymes are quite silly

They flow through my mind – they are dillies.

Some are so deep

They could put you to sleep

All written by this Canadian filly.