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at what age do you think it is responsable to let your son/daughter get his/her liscence
21.
It depends on the maturity level of your kid.
Some might be mature enough to be responsible at 17. Others may never be mature and responsible enough.
In short, know your kid and focus on his/her maturity and not his/her age*.
The Wolf
(*Subject to local law, of course)
It depends on your child. Some kids are not really ready to drive until 19 or 20, however for a boy or girl that has driven well under supervision and you feel is serious and mature enough to drive, there’s no point in holding him back past 17. You have to know your kids.
depends on the boy/girl but I would say for a girl no younger than 18 unless she is extremely mature and you know she wont be talking and texting while driving… For a boy I would say not before 19 or 20 and only if you know that he is not going to speed or be busy phoning and texting while driving. If he is a bit wild wait until he is 21.
What do you mean by *reponsible*; Do you mean by entrusting them to be independent (where they go, what they do). Or responsible with a car, and the road? For either not before 17.
My 2 oldest are in bais medrash.They don’t need it until they have to start dating.
40-45
You should let your child get a license as soon as the law allows; driving is a crucial life skill and it’s best learned young. I wish I had learned at 16 (I didn’t learn b/c I was living in NYC and didn’t feel like it was necessary), I’m now 22 with a baby and I’m struggling to get it done now. I’m no longer in NYC, so I really need a car to get around- I can’t leave the neighborhood unless my husband is around or a nice neighbor is going where I am.
Now, just because your teenager HAS a license, doesn’t mean you have to get them a car or give them your keys whenever they ask. While still under your roof, you should let them practice by allowing them to drive you places, but not let them out for a spin or with friends. But that’s an entirely separate issue and should have no bearing on whether or not they learn how to drive. Like I said, it’s a really important skill and it’s unfair and unwise to deprive them of that.
ummm. if your kid is a generally responsible kid and u practice driving with her then probably as soon as he legally can, still remind them that just because they have they license it doesnt mean they can go wherever they want and the same rules as before apply in regargds to say not going to the mall alone… where i live it’s (legaly)done in a way that first u can get permit then liecense but cant drive after nine till ur 17/18 i think thats very smart, gives kids some time to adjust to the independence and responsibility without total hefkerus….
Keep in mind that insurance is higher for new drivers. If you wait until dating he will have a very high insurance bill the first few years of marriage. Additionally, many states have provisional driving laws that severely restrict driving in the first year or so. In New jersey, provisional drivers can’t drive past 11 or have more than one non family member as a passenger. Even though most of these restrictions fall off over 21, it is better to get a license earlier. The sooner you can get past those restrictions the better. Besides, having a license makes your job opportunities much greater. I was able to get high paying summer jobs because I had a license.
Getting a motorcycle license on the other hand is more of a question.
16. I have seen the drivers who get their license to date. They drive terribly and dangerously, and are not confident on dates.
Do your kid a favor and teach him how to drive. If you’re too much of a wuss, hire a driving school.
yeshivaguy1, The insurance of the parents go up once a child becomes licensed, even if they don’t get a car or even ever drive.
Whatever age you settle on, driving lessons are a must. And set limits for the first few years until they get some experience.
Rules by us are, no night time driving out of city limits, no driving past 1:00am and no answering cell phones while in motion (texting is an obvious no). And if you were not in bed by midnight, you cannot have the car the next day.
And no more than 4 people in the car at one time.
BP – if you let them drive till 1 AM how in the world do you expect them in bed by midnight??
You’re rules seem overly lax.
Sorry, I was’nt clear.
They can’t have it 2 days in row, if they did not get a normal nights sleep.
The point of limits are, they need to plan ahead, not just do.
That’s what gets teens (and young single boys) into hot water. They don’t think ahead
Helpful – Whats the stirah? They just wont drive the following day.
helpful, yes it goes up but the point I am trying to make is that the parent may have to pay extra now but at least the kid won’t get hit with astronomical insurance bills when he gets married. (though assuming the parents pay the bills then also it won’t make much of a difference to him)
BP totty why do you need driving lessons. My father taught me to drive and he taught my brother to drive. I still remember driving him around on my days off. The only real excuse for driving lessons is if you don’t have the time.
Driving is a privilege and not a right!!!!! And insurance for underage drivers is very high. What does the insurance industry consider underage? That would be 18 when they can get their license on their own. I didn’t allow my kids to get their license till they were 18. My daughter is my oldest and I didn’t feel it was necessary for her to drive till she was 18. That set the pattern in the home. Honestly they didn’t lose out for waiting. I felt safer for waiting and I am sure my neighbors did too. My third child had so many accidents I can’t even imagine how many more he would have had if he would have started earlier and in all honesty most of them weren’t his fault he was just a driving target.
At one point the insurance company finally threw us out and told us even if your kids moved to California they wouldn’t accept us. We took all our kids off our insurance before we applied for another policy. So even at 18, with their heads screwed on straight, and being careful, accidents will happen. And since our daughter had to take the highway to get to college we didn’t even want her to drive a junk car, we leased her an inexpensive new car so it wouldn’t break down on her, which she had to share with her brother the following year when he got his license.
I think that nowadays driving and computer skills are included in the Gemara that says “aviv me’lamdoi umnes” (A father is responsible to teach his son a trade). Which Job does not require computer skills? Who can manage without driving?
Of course it requires careful planning. What age etc.
My parents encouraged my learning to drive from the age of 18. In fact they paid the full cost, on two conditions:
1) I do not rent a vehicle until after mariage.
2) I do not drive on the highway until after marriage.
These two conditions were planned in a way that my only chance of driving was the family vehicle, which would be monitored, because I would need their permision each time I planned on getting behind the wheel.
At the time I thought they were just controlling (as all teenagers think), but agreed to it because it saved me a fortune in costs.
Now (18 years later) I realise just how clever they /were/are, and thank them for their foresight!
Why do people think its more dangerous to drive on highway than on city roads? I think driving on city streets is much more dangerous, there are more things to watch out for; People running stop signs, red lights, quick sharp turns into you, picking up hitch hikers, pedestrians roaming the streets, bicyclists etc. Whats is there on the highway to be careful about?
The real benefit to taking lessons is they don’t pick up the bad driving habits we “experienced” drivers tend to have.
The reason it is harder on the highway is because you have to watch others changing lanes in front of you, more cars cutting you off and cars passing you on either side of you, where as on city streets you are pretty much on one lane roads. New drivers find it easier to drive on local city streets for a while before attempting highway faster driving and having to have ten eyes alert and aware.
Once you start driving on the highway and you get used to it, you find that you were foolish to be afraid of it. But that is human nature as with anything to be fearful until you get used to it.
I think it really depends on the kid, if they obey rules and do not lie and are trust worthy. For girls, by the time they are eighteen many are in Israel for the year in seminary. They come home from that year and have to drive for work or to go to school. Many will have to commute long distances. For this reason I think it is good for a girl to learn how to drive and get lots of experience before she leaves for Israel if she will need to drive when she comes home.
I am also a big believer in kids taking the driver’s ed class. Teaches them many good pointers and you get off on your insurance. Also keep your Tehillim handy to daven that they drive to and fro safe and sound!
Sometimes Greying Motherofthree
aries – I find it that you only get cut off when you are on the left lane driving to slow, If one follows the pace of the rest of the cars they will not get cut off. Highway driving is not scary and is much safer.
I got my mine at 16. My son just got his at 18 and my daughter got her’s at 17, now she’s 19. If it was up to me I wouldn’t have let them until 21, maybe even older. Very few young people are mature enough nowadays to drive, even in their twenties.
RB, I have no problem driving on highways, i have been doing it for many, many years. I am speaking about new drivers. However, I must say that there are still women my age who are still afraid to drive on the highway and I fault their husbands for it. They should take them out or insist that they go with a driving instructor to get over their fear. It is usually husbands who panic when their wives try to drive on the highway and yell at them that they are going too fast or too slow, to close to the right, too close to the left, didn’t you see that car coming into your lane, you almost hit that car and so on. It is the husbands that stop their wives from getting comfortable on the highway. Personally I try my hardest not to drive when my hubby is int he car.
Oh please aries2756. Stop blaming women’s driving failures on their husband’s. Even the unmarried women can’t drive. Women have been incapable of driving since… well, the Model T.
I would not consider allowing a child to get a license until he or she could spell it correctly.
Yes. Why can’t women drive?
Can’t they see just as well? Don’t they have the same motor skills? It doesn’t take much upper body strength to turn the steering wheel!
Why do they turn into children at the thought of taking the Belt to Far Rockaway? (Actually, the reason they are afraid to drive is because they are bad at it. The ones who are not afraid are the biggest menace.)
Does anybody know the answer to this?
so right, now your really crazy! Women have been driving since the fifties and they have been doing a great job. I don’t know about you but all my friends and neighbors drive as well as my relatives. All the women in my neighborhood do the most of the carpooling and no one would get to school without them. So if I don’t what you are talking about. Once again you are just trying to start up with me and once again you are so wrong.
My parents let me learn to drive at 17.
I wonder how would could find the statistics on who gets into more accidents men or women? The last few posted here and on VIN were men!
Others may never be mature and responsible enough.
Wolf: In that case you won’t let your child ever get a license?
as soon as their old enough.
16 1/2…the state minimum age here in CT. All 5 of ours got licenses as soon as legally possible. They proved their responsibility and their curfews became relaxed over time. It was a great relief when they could drive to school and we did not have that duty.
CT has time restrictions on new drivers (not after 11PM) and they can not drive non-immediate family members for the first 6 months after getting a license..so no dragging friends to school or malls.
OOT, driving is essential, not a luxury…we don’t have the public transportation options of metro NY or other large cities.
13 years ago when I broke my leg I relied on the kids to drive me to clients, etc for a few months, glad they all were proficient and licensed. MIL lives next door. From the time the kids were driving they took her on errands daily. My kids also had summer jobs and cars were necessary to get to and from work. All 5 had their own cars by the time they were 18….
BTW, only the boys getting licenses raised out insurance rates, rates did not go up for the girls.
I also taught all of them how to drive a stick shift. In an emergency you should be able to drive any vehicle that is available. BUT…they are not allowed to drive MRS. CTL’s 1971 Jaguar XKE Convertible…that’s off limits (even to me).
Sparkly,
I totally agree.
Though I would say that “old enough” is different for each kid. Some kids are old enough at 16, while others aren’t old enough until 18 or later.
Meno – i was suppose to get mine RIGHT AWAY. i didnt get it RIGHT away because i didnt pass RIGHT away since i was in a car accident and had traumas so instead of 16 i got it when i was 17. where i live EVERYONE NEEDS their license right away at 16 since EVERYTHING is FAR!!
Wolf: In that case you won’t let your child ever get a license?
You bumped a five year old thread to ask me a question to which you could have guessed how I’d respond?
At a certain point in life, my kids don’t need me to “let” them do anything. All of my kids are adults now. They don’t need me to “let them” get their licenses.
The Wolf
Wolf, when you made your years old comment about some never being mature and responsible enough to drive, what was your thinking about such people ever getting or not getting a license?
My mom is super strict about getting a lisense. When her sister was 16 she crashed her car and they almost amputated her arm. She was the driver.
I don’t think you should get it until 20. I know it’s cool and all, but you have enough to worry about when yu are a teen.
Shopping, so you’re mature enough at 17 to marry but not to drive?
Shopping613 – lesschumras made a good point. first you learn how to drive and then get married. poor guy gonna have to do everything for the house since i cant get anywhere or do anything without him. first comes license then marriage.
I got my permit at 17, if I recall correctly, but waited until I was 19 to get a license (nailed it on my 3rd try. Don’t judge). It was my own fear that precluded my obtaining a license earlier – I sincerely felt bad for all the other drivers and pedestrians who I was sure I would kill. BH, bli ayin hara, I haven’t killed anyone to date.
Now that I can drive by myself, I realize how much I was missing out on. There’s something about getting in a car and being able to do what you want/need to without depending on another driver that’s just so freeing. I know that as parents, many of you would want to restrict your children’s independence as much as possible so as to keep them out of harm’s way, but there may be drawbacks to your theory. You can’t just wait for them to magically become adults before introducing the steering wheel to them – driving and other forms of independence are how they BECOME adults. I’m not giving a set age for everyone to start driving – as parents, you know when they’re ready. But don’t wait forever. Let your kids make their own mistakes – that’s the only way they’ll mature.
In Israel most people don’t have cars anyway, beaides for the fact that it is expensive to get a car, and a lisense. There’s an old joke about how it’s cheaper to fly to the US for the summer, get it there, fly back, convert it and it will still be cheaper than doing a lisense here.
People:
It’s spelled license.
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