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“I’ve heard too many lectures about how I should only marry a guy who will learn for a few years “to give my family a foundation of Torah.”
No, sorry, my home will have a very clear foundation of Torah whether my husband learns in kollel first or not.”
Marrying someone “who will learn for a few years” and not marrying someone who “learns in kollel” are not mutually exclusive.
“Torah can also be a profesion. See Brachos 12 and Sotah 42 about Toraso Umnaso”
Interestingly it can come out that a “working guy” is toraso umnaso and a “learning guy” is not. Because if a guy works all day and learns a bit and eats and sleeps and only makes enough money to support himself (or his family) then he is considered toraso umnaso as per my earlier sources quoted and the teshuvos maharalbach siman 140. If a learning guy takes a break that is not for eating/sleeping or earning a living then he is not toraso umnaso. (Granted though, in practice most “working guys” also have breaks in which they are not learning, but my point merely was that it is possible for someone to be toraso umnaso even though he learns only a small percentage of the amount of time that someone else who is not toraso umnaso learns.)
PAA: True. I intend that the person I marry will learn for more than a few years, no matter when he decides to go to work. I value Torah and am looking for someone who is the same.
But that obviously doesn’t have to mean kollel and/or learning Torah exclusively for a period of time. Maybe or maybe not.
Where did this thread even come from? Wow, blast from the past.
Everyone wants a Learning Type Boy. Hopefully. The world cannot turn without them. Every boy should be as successful as he potentially can while in the confined walls of his Yeshiva or office. His goals should be aimed towards the great minds in Torah. It is the only way.
By acquiring (Torah’s vocabulary) a wife one must realize the burden of earning a parnosa. Whether one fills those responsibilities through Torah Umnoso, 7 yrs in medical school or even soliciting he must realize that it is his achrai’is.
In most cases a new couple is able to financially survive the 1st few yrs without a formal breadwinner. B”H to the current respectable generation that financially aids Torah. Why a person would run run run to make more more more money is fuelled by lack of success in the Yeshiva World. Take it slow, learn as much as you can while you can. There is no reason to rush into building your goyishe mindset of a family.
“Why a person would run run run to make more more more money is fuelled by lack of success in the Yeshiva World. Take it slow, learn as much as you can while you can. There is no reason to rush into building your goyishe mindset of a family”
I’m not sure who this is addressed to. The topic here is not about someone with a goyishe mindset of a family; it is about someone who is deeply committed to Torah while being able to support himself (and his family).
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