kids that don't smile=depression/angry

He/she may or may not be disturbed by the fact that he/she appears to be two genders.

I think the first question is what is your role?

As a teacher, her emotional state can affect her academic learning and her social/peer relationships. It’s logical and maybe even expected that you would want to inquire. It would be a good opportunity to recommend a psychosocial evaluation and maybe even some play therapy.

As a neighbor, your role would be completely different. If you are truly concerned, you could take the opportunity to get to know this family better. Visit them in their home environment. Observe them. Notice the condition of the home, the demeanor of this child and any others within the home, family interactions, the mood of the parents and their interactions with eachother and the kids. Keep an eye out for signs of neglect (filthy home or appearance, lack of interaction or proper supervision, nutritional deprivation (do the kids appear severely underweight?).

There are too many unknows here. Could there be a developmental issue? What is the family history? Have there been any life altering events, such as death, loss of job/income, marital conflict, even general depression within the family context?

You’re also describing inconsistencies. You state that others claim there was no warmth/compassion shown to this child as an infant, however you have witnessed the father being compassionate towards her. Then you state the parents give her everything she needs. How reliable is this information?

I would refrain from making any assumptions, good or bad, at this point. I think it’s more of an opportune moment to get to know her and them before making a decision whether this merits further investigation and involvement.

choc: Did you read the OP carefully?

OOM: I was reading it like you did as well… however, I think where the OP refers to the child as a ‘him’ is actually referring to the father, i.e. the father’s parents never showed compassion to the father when the father was a child.

Oh whoops, my bad…

Although I’ve seen the father of the child be comppassionate toward her, It has been told to me that his parents never showed compassion toward him as a child,- it is possible tht it stems from this,”

I actually misread this the same way as OOM did (no relation to Oomis). What does the lack of compassion shown by grandparents to their son, have anything to do with the son nonetheless being a compassionate father to his daughter? He is fortunate indeed to have developed empathy in SPITE of having a parent who was not a role model for the same for him.

It is VERY rare that a healthy, normal child does not smile. In fact, smiling is one of the first social development milestones. I would want to have this child evaluated. Does she act out, exhibit ANY type of emotion?

I’m so sorry I know how hard it is to have to have this discussion. Many times, as a teacher I have had to approach parents with concerns like this and it does not get better over time. Can I ask what age the child is now? If something like what we are discussing is going on her teacher should notice it. That is unless the child is still very young and maybe the school has yet to pick up on it.