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I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how to have more kavanah during the long rosh hashana davening. Having stayed home for many years, i am now able to be in shul longer, but it is hard to have zits fliesh! any help would be appreciated, tizku lamitzvot!
The first thing to help with kavannah is to make absolutely sure that NO LITTLE KIDS come in and out of the shul. Too many mothers who felt “deprived” of davening all during the years when their babies were being born, seem to forget that they have no chiyuv to daven in Shul specifically BECAUSE of those children. I cannot tell you how hard it is for me to concentrate when thoughtless parents (read: moms, in this particular instance) allow their kids to come in and out of the ezras nashim, talking, whining, doing what normal little kids do,w ehn they are bored. Event hough our shul has provided FREE babysitting for those children, the moms do not ensure that the kids are staying with the sitters. Ok, enough of my ranting. Now for practical suggestions:
I always focus on thoughts of my family, my parents O”H, my siblings, and most especially, my children and grandchildren. THAT helps me focus on ym davening, because when I daven for my family, I really connect with what I am saying. It becomes even more choshuv to me. It’s not that I am davening for this request or that one. It is that simply reflecting on the many brachos in my life given to me by Ha-Shem, which I am reminded of when I think of my family, helps me to concentrate on the tefila and feel even more humbled and grateful.
Try using Pathways to Prayer for Shemonah Esrei. It helps you understand exactly what every word means, and gives your davening a huge boost. It works great for me.
I know exactly what you mean! I always joke that my first year back in shul for more than shofar and yizkor will have to be at a beginners’ minyan. But that’s not much of a joke. The ambience and baal tefillah are something to bear in mind. But assuming you don’t have a choice where to daven, bring a really good machzor, with translation and commentary, like Artscroll, for when your mind starts to wander.
(BTW, made the apple cran crunch. The whole thing looks great but I especially like the crust.)
over the Aron Kodesh in our Shul it says:
“Know before Whom you stand”
daily as we approach Shemonah Esrei, I glance at these words to help set my focus.
On Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur when the tefila is much longer, if I 1) get distracted or 2) distract myself – I glance up there to refocus myself.
sugestion:
Write those words inside your machzor or even on an index card.
dont forget to read the now famous “praying with fire” before R”H
its fun and easy to read and has improved the davening of thousands, including me!
and dont forget to make my chickpea recipe.
What about (for next year obviously) making arrangements to go to a Madreigos, Heritage, or similar Kiruv type Yomim Noraim experience? My daughter and son-in-law are going to one, because my son-in-law is very involved in this type of work. The idea is bedavka to make the davening resonate more strongly with the people who attend the program.
Da lifnei mi ata omeid…. ABSOLUTELY. I am noheig not to speak at all during davening, for that reason. I feel it is a slap in Ha-Shem’s face kivyachol, to carry on a conversation with someone while davening. I see that a lot in Shul, too. It’s no wonder the children of these moms and dads are not behaving in shul. Look at their role models.
Children in Shul: Rabbi Yisroel Miller in his sefer “What’s Wrong With Being Human” discusses this in his essay on pardha Matos and the concept of gratitude (Pages 182 – 183). R’Miller mentions that in 1920 there was a book entitiled “Why I am a Jew” in which the auther wondered whether there would be Jewish people by 1970 being as Othodox Jews in America of that time where primarily aged immigrants. The elders of the community would see the youngsters drop out of Judaism and thus they felt that Yiddishkeit would die out.
R’Miller continues that B’H we now see all the Yeshivas and the children flourishing here and views this as pure simchah! R’Miller mentions that we should show our gratitude to HaShem for these children (even the noisy ones)
R’Miller concedes that we should strive to have proper decorum in the Shuls, however, he suggests that for this, we should start with the adults.
“If that person were your sister or brother, would you still feel the same way? I am telling myself this same mussar as well! “
Sorry, but my parents taught my sister and brothers the same thing they taught me, i.e., to show kovod for Ha-Shem and other mispallelim in Shul and not to talk. I am sorry you feel I am being judgmental, rather than saying that Ha-Shem is the one judging that behavior. Personally, I would like to see people getting judged favorably because they have derech eretz. If more people would think about their actions and the impact of those actions on others in shul and out of shul, perhaps Moshiach would be here already. Believe me, I know I have a great deal to work on regarding my own middos and actions, but talking in Shul is not one of those things, and it is SUCH A SIMPLE THING TO CORRECT.
I think that kids’-minyanim is a great way to get the children excited about going to shul, in a way that does not cause problems for the adults.
The children making noise do not bother me – when the parents get MAD – that is much worse. I hope other feel the same.
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