Kaddish Wars…..Fast or slow kaddish in shul

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  • #615235
    ScooterJew613
    Participant

    Recently in my shul there unfortunatley have been a nuber of deaths in the passt year. With that said there are 2 of the 5 availim now kaddish extra slow. The question is should they say it together in the middle of the shul, should they say where they want to should they say it together or seperate?

    #1066025
    charliehall
    Participant

    I think that it makes a lot of sense to have the mourners stand together. I saw that in a shul in Paris; they MANDATED that anyone reciting mourners kaddish go to the front of the shul and stand right in front of the Bimah. I was saying kaddish then and I appreciated being right next to other guys reciting the longer Sefardic kaddish with which I was unfamiliar.

    #1066026
    ScooterJew613
    Participant

    In a bigger shul perhaps that make sense but in smaler settings the mouners should be able to find a commn speed but that doesnt seem to happen

    #1066027
    barlev
    Participant

    This is an halachic issue, the reason why they all say together in France is because one should say amen to one kaddish, in some shuls they insist on only one kaddish being recited, I think the rabbi of the shul should decide

    #1066028
    lesschumras
    Participant

    Is the reason for being very slow a personal choice or an inability to go faster? If they cannot go faster, they should be accommodated. If it’s being done intentionality, they should be asked asked to go fasster.

    #1066029
    ☕ DaasYochid ☕
    Participant

    It’s a good idea to have the aveilim go to the bimah, so they can synchronize Kaddish. As far as speed, I agree with LC, although each shul will have its standard.

    In one shul I’ve been to, the minhag used to be for each to recite Kaddish from his place, until there were two aveilim who were at different speeds, so the Rav asked them to go to the bimah, and they were able to say Kaddish in sync.

    #1066030
    takahmamash
    Participant

    Assuming the shaliach tzibur is saying kaddish, everyone should go at his speed. That’s what we do in our shule. (When I was saying kaddish and doing the bulk of the weekday davening, I slowed my kaddish speed for another avel who was unable to say it more quickly.)

    #1066031
    BarryLS1
    Participant

    People should say Kaddish together. Halachically, according to Rav Moshe Fienstein, ZT”L, anything said aloud in a Shul should follow the Minhag of the Shul, i.e., so unless it is a Sfardi Shul, their longer Kaddish should not be said, though people do it anyway. The same thing applies to Kedusha.

    I find that in most cases, the people saying Kaddish very fast, are either saying it for a non-family member, or being paid to do so and are not saying it for a parent. That, to me, is unfair to those who are saying it with the proper Kavannah to fulfill their own obligation.

    #1066032
    apushatayid
    Participant

    Does this shul have a rav?

    #1066033
    Joseph
    Participant

    barlev: Is there a halachic preference that only one person should say kaddish rather than multiple simultaneously?

    There is that there be only one minyan, rather than multiple simultaneous minyanim that split the minyan.

    #1066034
    BarryLS1
    Participant

    apushatayid: There is a Rov and he said the same thing, but doesn’t want the Machlokes that it would take to stop the practice.

    On a practical basis, while people saying Kaddish are not happy about it because it forces them to stop and wait, and their concentration is thrown off, no one wants to fight over it.

    #1066035
    sefer
    Member

    If you want a detailed answer check out the recent book I just bought for my shul–At the Amud-(Gordon) Page 58. Actually the book covers most topics of tefilla -especially during aveilus and Kaddish in general– We were having the same problems in our shul so I bought it for future reference and hopefully, less arguments.-

    -In short–some poskim say that it should be said together in one place but R. Yehoshua Neuvirth z”L and Rav Chaim Kanievsky ????? write that it is better for those saying Kaddish to stand apart so that each will be heard and answered by a minyan.

    #1066036
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    I recently started saying kaddish in the last month or so. Since I’m a ba’al kriah by trade, I am accustomed to saying things in a slow, precise manner, and not rushing through it. However, the other gentleman in our shul who says kaddish often says it much faster than I do. I tried to keep up with him but many times was not successful. What’s worse, he could not hear me from where I was across the shul.

    The rav asked me and the other gentleman to move to the bimah when kaddish is said. I wasn’t really comfortable with that idea, but eventually we hit upon a compromise — I move to where the other gentleman davens at kaddish time and say it next to him. As it turns out, he told he that he preferred to slow down as well, and only said it quickly out of perceived pressure (real or imagined) from the other mispallelim to go quickly.

    The Wolf

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