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I’m not posting out of boredom, although my tone may give that impression, rather this post comes from a need to reach out. See, even though we don’t know each other we probably have a lot in common, and unlike the wonderful people I see and interact with every day, you and I are starting fresh. Like a tasty apple. Unfortunately, actually I should really look on the positive, and start the sentence off with Thankfully; but, I want to convey my feelings at this moment. I feel distant, from those who feel close. I feel pained from my version of reality. There’s nowhere for me to go, No one I can turn to. Now that I started with generalities I’ll continue – Many things in life are a series of catch 22’s.For example, I need attention yet I scorn the one who gives it. Which leads to another one, the scorned one needs to connect but has been burned away. So now we’re both stuck. Being sucked deeper into this whirlpool.
Please speak to an Adom Godol.
Because I’m just a person who read your post on the Internet, I’m not qualified to determine whether you need therapy or just need to get a hobby and meet new people.
And by the way, you have fingernails, but you yourself are not fingernail.
Fingernail on chalkboard… the chalkboard can be a tool of learning and connecting to a material with another person who uses one’s hand, palm and fingers that grip a piece of chalk.
Now, if the teacher in this scenario takes a fingernail instead of piece of chalk to the board, the sound normally irritates the common observer, creating a distance between the fingernail person and the pupil in this scenario.
Today, generally speaking, anyone capable of creating a thread online might be that teacher.
Fingernail, I hope I am wrong, but you sound like you are in much pain. If I am not wrong, then I wish I could do more to help ease that pain, but the only thing I can do is find someone to whom you can talk (probably a professional) and who can help guide you through your pain to reconnect to the people around you so that you can step into the light and enjoy living.
It sounds like you really need to open up to someone in real life. Internet relationships/friendships cannot fill an emotional void. You should speak to a therapist- they can work wonders for you; help clear up your pain, and help you connect with the important people in your life. Best of luck.
I’m just curious, Why do you scorn people ?
Most people are not in the habit of sabotaging friendships (unless you are a teenager, then the question is moot)Reach out to Releif 718-431-9501
Fingernail, you don’t need attention, Hashem is giving you the attention you need, and so you have to give Hashem the attention He requires from you. The rest is you doing good deeds (mitzvoth) and being polite when addressed by people as you do already. Stay humble, as you inner personality suggests, as you really don’t want the attention you are getting.
Are you still here?
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