is this normal after marriage?

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Viewing 11 posts - 51 through 61 (of 61 total)
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  • #811804
    walton157
    Member

    watch it please.

    #811805
    chanasara
    Member

    Shalom Task Force gives workshops in high schools and seminaries about healthy/non healthy relationships. They also offer couples that are engaged or newly married a series of workshops preparing them for “real life”. Check it out if you have concerns about dating/ really knowing who you are marrying.

    #811807
    yic
    Member

    i have a really good friend that got married and all of a sudden he stopped talking to me and with all of his friends so i got shocked that a buchir that was in Yisheva till the day before his chasuna is acting like this so i made some research and i find out that Evrybody who comes in to his wifes family is mshibet to them and they dictat the guy that they have to follow what ever they say do anybody think that i should go talk to him

    #811808
    mommamia22
    Participant

    Walton

    What do you mean “watch it..?”

    What are you concerned about?

    #811809
    mommamia22
    Participant

    Yic

    I didn’t understand your story completely. Your friend got married and has to follow whatever his wife’s family tells him to do?

    I think if you have concerns you can voice them, but be careful. Ask him how he’s doing and just point out what you notice (that he’s out of touch with everyone). Let him respond. Don’t voice your own opinion about whether you think it’s ok or not without asking a rav or an organization like shalom task force. He might not mind pulling away socially, but if you tell him you think it’s not ok, he might re-think his own perspective and that can start shalom Bayis issues.

    #811810
    aries2756
    Participant

    It is “normal” to be tired. It is normal to be “excited” and a bit “spacey” because you are always thinking about your spouse and what to cook for him, and you just always have him on your mind because you want to be with him.

    On the other hand, if she is so spaced out but she doesn’t have that happy look on her face when she is, that is NOT a good sign and I too would be concerned. I would ask her “What’s wrong? Are you tired, does your husband help you?” that might open up some discussion? Ask her what its like being married, ask her how different it is being on her own than being at home. See if she smiles when she talks about her marriage or she gets nervous. That should give you a clue.

    #811811
    aries2756
    Participant

    momma, you are really truly stuck between a rock and a hard place and it is a very difficult decision that you made to stay in an abusive relationship. It sounds that you are slowly standing up for yourself and empowering yourself (I hope). You don’t sound like a victim you certainly do sound like a survivor. I ask all my clients to read “Choice Theory” by Dr. William Glaser. I don’t know if you have heard of it or not, but you might gain some chizuk and some insight from it. If I can offer support in any way please let me know.

    #811812
    kapusta
    Participant

    What do you mean “watch it..?”

    What are you concerned about?

    Things written in bold (when not in the middle of a sentence/post) are usually written by a mod.

    *kapusta*

    #811813
    ilovetheholyland
    Participant

    found out whats goin on…. not normal but i”h will be ok!

    #811814
    shmoel
    Member

    What’s going on?

    #811815
    ilovetheholyland
    Participant

    i cant say anything else, i hope u can understand that…..thanx a mill everyone for ur advice…..

Viewing 11 posts - 51 through 61 (of 61 total)
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