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I was responding to the maturity and responsibility. No responsibilities no big deal.
Apushitayid “all bills are paid by tatty”
The irony! Isn’t that exactly the problem with the shidduch crisis? That unless the Tatty is willing (able) to pay the bills the daughter can’t find a shidduch??? The kest system has been abolished in the chassidishe world. The tatties are not being manipulated into paying the bills on pain of staying with a grey haired daughter at home.
Rav Miller suggested it. Other Litvish gedolim (especially in EY) are also in favor of it.
Any currently in the U.S. recommending it?
Isn’t that exactly the problem with the shidduch crisis? That unless the Tatty is willing (able) to pay the bills the daughter can’t find a shidduch???
No.
DY: It is certainly part of the problem.
Any currently in the U.S. recommending it?
Ask around. How many currently in the U.S. are opposed to it? How many have a public position (either way) on it? Does Rav Miller count in your book? Isn’t the new position just announced by the Litvish gedolim suggest there is movement in this direction?
I can tell you how many are actively encouraging it. None.
If the litvishe gefolim in ey are on board with your plan, why don’t they send home all American bachurim En masse? Why are yeshivos in ey actively recruiting my 21 year old son of they are on board with your plan.
I think the problem in today’s generation is that too many people are Kol korei hidden and don’t have a Rav.
Ask around. How many currently in the U.S. are opposed to it? How many have a public position (either way) on it? Does Rav Miller count in your book? Isn’t the new position just announced by the Litvish gedolim suggest there is movement in this direction?
In other words, none.
DY: It is certainly part of the problem.
That depends what you think the problem is.
DY:”That depends what you think the problem is.”
This is getting ridiculous. We are on page 4 of this thread and we are unaware of what problem we are discussing?
The problem is the ‘shidduch crisis’ which I would define as a hardship for the girls in a certain community to find a shidduch, with many girls becoming older than they would like to without finding their bashert.
There is more than just one thing contributing to the problem. Girls being squeezed for money is one contributing factor.
You seemed to be unaware. Despite your now recognizing it as a problem which affects girls’ ability to get married more than boys, you blame it on a something which affects both equally.
Maybe squeezing girls (and their parents) is a huge problem on its own, even a crisis, but it’s got little if anything to do with there being more unmarried girls than boys.
Monogamy is the problem.
Teimanim don’t have that problem.
If the burden of support was shifted to the boys parents I assure you there would be more unmarried boys of all ages then girls.
Apushatayid, that’s ridiculous. The only thing that would change is which girls get married, not how many in relation to how many boys.
You are aware that there are precisely as many married men as there are married women, aren’t you?
DY: you’re forgetting one piece of the puzzle. Assuming all other variables being equal, if a 23 year old boy has a choice between dating a 21 year old girl from a not exactly rich family versus a 19 year old from a wealthy family, whom will he (or his mother) choose?
So assuming the older rich females are no longer girls (they go fast) the boys will go for the younger rich girls whose parents promise support whenever possible. And the others are often left out in the cold. Of course other features such as beauty, yichus, smarts and what-not also come into play, but you can’t deny that money is a major factor, and those lacking it do not have a competitive edge.
I’m not forgetting it, I just think the effect is probably negligible. Even if we assume that the 19 year olds who are left over are the “financially challenged” ones (which I actually don’t think is true for the most part), by the time they’re 21, they should have money put away, plus more earning power, giving them an advantage over the 19 year old who is in the same position as she was.
You are also just finding another contributing factor to age gap. Would you agree that if the standard age for boys became 21, the problem would mostly be solved?
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