Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Is there a Chiyuv to be friendly?
- This topic has 11 replies, 10 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 10 months ago by Raphael Kaufman.
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February 7, 2012 3:05 am at 3:05 am #601936adamsParticipant
I work some part time hours in public and sometimes don’t wish to converse with a customer. I was wondering if there is a Torah directive that I must go beyond Sever Panim Yafos?
Suppose I am learning or reading should I automatically put this down. You know that when someone is not giving their attention that they dont’ wish to converse.
In addition this may be also a societal – legal question, I was wondering what privacy rights I am allowed in the USA that is if some supplier is annoying, invading my privacy with conversation that i consider degrading to me, am I obligated to do nothing
or is there a right to say that so and so cannot have any contact with me?
I was interested in hearing perspectives. Particularly are we obligated to take the
‘high road’ from a Halachik perspective
February 7, 2012 3:28 am at 3:28 am #849932besalelParticipantI’m not sure the halachik ramifications of your misanthropy but i do know that there’s a job at the dmv with your name all over it!
February 7, 2012 4:01 am at 4:01 am #849933GoLearnTorahParticipantThere is a chiuv to make a kiddush Hashem… I’d venture to say that includes the high road.
February 7, 2012 4:11 am at 4:11 am #849934oomisParticipantHevei mekabeil es kol ho’odom b’sever panim yafos does not mean you have to be his best friend or engage in an hour long dialogue, but it DOES mean that a modicum of friendliness and civility IS expected. There are many tactful and sensitive ways to get the idea across that you are finished conversing. it’s a matter of showing good manners.
February 7, 2012 4:44 am at 4:44 am #849935🍫Syag LchochmaParticipantI think it matters greatly if your conversing/availability is expected. A friendly security guard is nice but a stoic or quiet one isn’t insulting. If you are a salesman and people take your being busy as a sign that you are not available for questions, that may be rude. A bus driver could probably go either way, except for the part about reading a book.
February 7, 2012 10:55 am at 10:55 am #849936moreMemberNo, but theres no chiyuv to be a groutch either..lol:)
and it does say to greet one n’ all bsever panim Yafos.
there’s also sth called social cues… Tznius alzo plaiyz an elementz over chere…
February 7, 2012 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #849937ED IT ORParticipantof course theres a chiyuv to be friendly it comes from the chiyuv of being happy,
? ?? ??? ???? ?????
February 7, 2012 4:01 pm at 4:01 pm #849938wanderingchanaParticipantbesalel… LOL!!
I remember learning something like, if you greet someone with a sour face it’s like you’re stealing from them. I am paraphrasing and I don’t know the source. Anyone?
February 7, 2012 4:14 pm at 4:14 pm #849939apushatayidParticipant“I work some part time hours in public and sometimes don’t wish to converse with a customer.”
I dont know what you do, but conversing with customers might be part of your job description and not doing so might be a dereliction of duty.
February 7, 2012 4:14 pm at 4:14 pm #849940🍫Syag LchochmaParticipantI thought he was choosing between indifference and friendliness, not rudeness. Obviously rude and anti-social (though it works well for me) is NOT the way to go. But, as I wrote above, I don’t think the high rode is an obligation unless it affects your obligations.
February 7, 2012 5:03 pm at 5:03 pm #849941oomisParticipantSome people perceive indifference as rudeness. It always pays to be pleasant. You never know who will end up being your mechutan.
Or your kids’ boss.
February 7, 2012 8:01 pm at 8:01 pm #849942Raphael KaufmanMemberThe key word in the OP is “customer”. If you’re not pleasant to customers, pretty soon you won’t have any and the question will be moot. (not “mute”)
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