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Do u know any1 with crohns that really had an issue with shidduchim
I have crohns, and it made me a lot more slender. (maybe it helped!) There have been some very difficult times, but right now my health is good. And btw, I know several other adults with crohns, and all of their children are in good health.
If Crohn’s disease is treated and controlled, there is nothing to it.
i do know someone who had a severe case of crohn’s (it can be very mild for some). It did affect shidduchim while he struggled to get it under control/find the right diet or meds. But once he did, no.
My brother in law has Crohn’s. His children are all fine and Crohn’s-free.
The Wolf
I’m hoping that people aren’t that self involved.
I could see how people might make an issue but it’s really redic.
Even in the bad times when there are flare ups significant others and family members just need go support and they’ll be fine/
on the topic, to what posters are mentioning. I thought there was a genetic factor, am i wrong?
Yes, Crohn’s is a real issue.
So are allergies, ADHD, depression, insomnia, high blood pressure, diabetes, and Tay-Sachs.
Obviously there are varying degrees of severity in all of this, but they all need to be taken into account.
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but the nistaros are not. Right now genetic issues are niglos and our responsibility.
try reaching out to shadchonim that specialize in medical and sensitive shidduchim. you can find such by googling. there are a couple good ones in Lakewood
A close relative of mine has crohns, he is on the scd diet and not on ANY meds. He is doing wonderful on the diet! He hasn’t had a flare in over a year BH and he runs his life just as he had before he was diagnosed he just can’t eat some foods.
He isn’t up to shidduchim yet but I don’t think there will be a big problem that he has crohns.
All diseases are genetic
FYI: Crohn’s is an unpredictable disease. It is also extremely common in our communities. Virtually any block in an ashkenazik neighborhood will have someone that has Crohn’s (or atleast knows someone close to them that does). Many are controlled through medicine, and although they have periodic suffering an some occasionally difficult periods, they lead regular and totally productive lives. Some are controlled with mild medication with little or no side effects, while others require more difficult medication. A significant number will eventually require surgery to remove the affected part of the GI tract (Crohn’s can affect any portion of the tract, mouth to anus, but I believe that the most common is the terminal ileum). For many that will control their condition. About 30% of those though will develop Crohn’s in other area’s. No person knows what hashem has in store for anyone and questions as to how to view a Crohn’s patient are clearly best left to medical personnel and a persons own Rov and moreh derech.
Anonym, you are right that as scientists are making progress in studying genes, it seems that all diseases are genetic. Diseases are caused by mutations in our genes (either one gene, or a few).
That doesn’t mean that all diseases are inherited. Some gene mutations are inherited from our parents. Others are caused by environmental factors that have an effect on our genes after we are born and exposed to the air we breathe, the foods we eat, etc. Genetic mutations can also happen randomly. Some diseases are caused by a person with a specific gene mutation being exposed to environmental factors.
Anyone that has crohns (or any digestive illness) should speak to their doctor about the diet and slowly weaning off the medication. No one should have to take all the medication or go through all the surgeries and suffering.
The diet works for most people. The people who it hasn’t worked for did not follow the diet exactly as he should.
This relative of mine has grown, gained weight, inflammation down to zero, iron went up…
The doctors don’t talk to patients about the diet because it’s all about money. If everyone goes on the diet then there would be almost no need for the gastros
A close friend of mine was dating a girl who had medical issues. He was considered a ‘top bochur’ in society, and he had no need to ‘compromise’. I asked him what motivated him to say yes to this shidduch.
He told me that his mother had Crohns; when she was dating someone, he terminated the shidduch when she told him she suffered from the illness. This person married a different girl, who was diagnosed a year later with Crohns. My friend learnt a lesson from this story that there is no escaping Hashem’s plan. If He wants you to have a sick wife, a sick wife you shall have.
Baruch Hashem, neither I nor anyone in my close family has been diagnosed with Crohn’s. I do have a friend who suffers from it terribly, and have a small recognition of how dramatically it can affect a person’s life.
It is exactly the seriousness of the disease which could prompt a person to reject a shidduch on the basis of this diagnosis.
I do have a child with a different genetic abnormality, and was recently told by the geneticist that, even in the general population, one in every six people has a genetic abnormality of some sort (of course, some are more damaging than others). Obviously, the incidence is much higher among Ashkenazic Jews, who are effectively all intermarried with each other many times over.
It is time we got past the stigma of the words “genetic” and “hereditary.”
A few years ago, we had a couple that stayed with us for Shabbat that got cured of Crohns.
The woman had leukemia a few years prior and had a transplant of an immune system. The doctors used chemo (or something like that) to destroy her immune system. The found a perfect match, and took the T-cells from the match and injected her with them. The new T-cells made themselves at home. The lady got a new immune system. She had Crohn’s before the transplant, but it went away after. She got hay fever alergies after.
Tzvi: Any illness is an issue when it comes to shidduchim. As is learning disabilities, physical abnormalities, poor (physically, spiritually or emotionally) family background etc. However, in shidduchim there are tradeoffs, and noone is perfect. People with Crohn’s do get married.
yekke2, that’s a great story.
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