Home › Forums › Controversial Topics › Inviting other young couples over for a seuda
- This topic has 91 replies, 36 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 2 months ago by Lilmod Ulelamaid.
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February 17, 2016 7:04 pm at 7:04 pm #1170739gavra_at_workParticipant
“Perhaps that was the RBSO’s plan to get the Bashert’s together?”
I didnt finish all shas(yet), so I can not say this definitvely, but am reasonably certain that even though harbeh shluchim lamakom, this is not one of them.
I know it’s Adar but surely there are limits to the the craziness.
Tanach has stranger stories, such as Yehudah and Tamar.
February 17, 2016 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm #1170740It is Time for TruthParticipantThe Queen,
Taking that spirit to it’s conclusion
is
in opposition to what hold dear and dangerous
February 17, 2016 7:13 pm at 7:13 pm #1170741It is Time for TruthParticipantWhen in Na”ch did the the Nivi”im refrain from castigating sinners or even grayish area
and instead said
like you??
February 17, 2016 7:19 pm at 7:19 pm #1170742apushatayidParticipantIf moshiach will be born of this union then I’ll grant you, it was bashert.
February 17, 2016 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #1170743👑RebYidd23ParticipantIiTfT,
Writing your post like this
surely
does not improve the quality.
February 17, 2016 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm #1170744The QueenParticipantTime for truth: Right. NOT recommended.
February 19, 2016 3:47 am at 3:47 am #1170745birdsonParticipantOne of my rabbeim advises couples to only host family until they have children. Not because of jealousy or any of the other reasons mentioned, but simply because it is a time for a husband and wife to be together.
February 19, 2016 4:16 am at 4:16 am #1170746mddMemberNo, Joseph, she just judged others le’kaf zechus and according to their chezkas kashrus.
February 19, 2016 11:20 am at 11:20 am #1170747Avi KParticipantBirdson, perhaps Israelis are different from my observations new marrieds very often go to their parents for Shabbat. Veterans in the community also like to invite new residents in order to get to know them.
February 19, 2016 3:38 pm at 3:38 pm #1170748flatbusherParticipantAviK, among chasidim it is traditional for the first year of marriage to alternate between sets of parents for Shabbos. I don’t think this is the point of this thread.
August 21, 2016 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #1170749After you jave kids, it’s messed up to thing you shouldn’t be having shabbos guests. It’s hack soon or him, sip making everything a big issue. My parents always have people over and we have an awesome time. Chill out
August 21, 2016 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #1170750SparklyMemberwhy shouldnt you invite over your other married friends?
August 21, 2016 8:53 pm at 8:53 pm #1170751WolfishMusingsParticipantAfter you jave kids, it’s messed up to thing you shouldn’t be having shabbos guests. It’s hack soon or him, sip making everything a big issue. My parents always have people over and we have an awesome time. Chill out
When come back, bring English.
The Wolf
August 22, 2016 4:12 am at 4:12 am #1170752ExcellenceParticipantWhat jealously? OBVIOUSLY your wife has to be agreeable. Guests at table is how people get to know one another and network for dating.
August 22, 2016 1:22 pm at 1:22 pm #1170753Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantWolf – he’s a kid, give him a break. He wrote somewhere that he’s in elementary school
August 22, 2016 1:42 pm at 1:42 pm #1170754MenoParticipantIsn’t there an age limit in the coffee room? If not, there should be
August 22, 2016 2:25 pm at 2:25 pm #1170755Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantMeno, that did occur to me. I didn’t agree with the posters who thought that the teenage post-high school girls didn’t belong, but there is a big difference between a post-high school girl and an elementary school boy.
I’m not sure it’s so appropriate for an elementary school boy to be here.
August 22, 2016 2:41 pm at 2:41 pm #1170756Wolf, by the way, I always think your comments make sense.
August 22, 2016 3:11 pm at 3:11 pm #1170757SparklyMemberMeno- i agree. most sites make age limits but not yeshiva world.
August 22, 2016 3:39 pm at 3:39 pm #1170758Mashiach AgentMemberdon wori i am babbi stil
August 22, 2016 4:09 pm at 4:09 pm #1170759MenoParticipantWhat does it mean when you click on a username and you get an error saying “user not found”?
Is it because they used to have a different username and their profile page is still under their old name?
August 22, 2016 4:27 pm at 4:27 pm #1170760yehudayonaParticipantIf you’re too young to drink coffee, you don’t belong in the coffee room.
August 22, 2016 4:48 pm at 4:48 pm #1170761SparklyMemberyehudayona – very funny.
August 22, 2016 4:55 pm at 4:55 pm #1170762Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantThat can’t be the reason because that’s what happens when I click on my own username and I never had another username.
I guess I’m a figment of my own imagination.
August 22, 2016 4:58 pm at 4:58 pm #1170763YW Moderator-💯ModeratorMeno, it usually means there is a space in the username.
August 22, 2016 5:09 pm at 5:09 pm #1170764charliehallParticipant“why can’t the ‘guest wife’ help in the kitchen? “
Why can’t the husbands help in the kitchen?
August 22, 2016 5:33 pm at 5:33 pm #1170765MenoParticipantSo then they have no profile page? Or do you just have to modify the address?
August 22, 2016 5:39 pm at 5:39 pm #1170766JosephParticipantThe kitchen is the wife’s quarters and job.
August 22, 2016 6:27 pm at 6:27 pm #1170768SparklyMembercharliehall – good question. who are you asking?
August 22, 2016 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm #1170769MenoParticipantNever mind, you just replace the %20 with a dash
August 22, 2016 8:33 pm at 8:33 pm #1170770Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantJoseph – who says?
August 22, 2016 9:04 pm at 9:04 pm #1170771JosephParticipant5,000 years of history and traditional roles of men and women.
August 22, 2016 9:40 pm at 9:40 pm #1170772iacisrmmaParticipantJoseph: Rav Pam TZATZAL was asked a question about husbands helping their wives cook. He responded – As long as my wife worked in the public school system I made the potato kugel for shabbos.
August 22, 2016 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm #1170773JosephParticipantMy response is customized for the audience and conversation. Charlie equalized the guest wife helping in the kitchen with the guest “husbands” helping in the kitchen. His intention was egalitarianism (as he makes clear in his voluminous posting history). That is anathema to Jewish values.
August 22, 2016 10:50 pm at 10:50 pm #1170774Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantJoseph: “5,000 years of history and traditional roles of men and women.”
That’s why the guy has to pick up the girl…
I hadn’t read Charlie’s post so I didn’t realize he was talking about guest husbands. I think the problem with that is that it’s not tznius since the hostess is most likely the main person in the kitchen even if her husband helps.
I agree with you that egalitarianism is not Jewish, but I do think that men should help in the kitchen, and in general. Exactly how things are divided depends on the couple and what works for them, and there is no right or wrong way.
I have found that in most homes, the women and girls serve and the men and boys clear.
August 23, 2016 8:04 am at 8:04 am #1170775I’m going into 8th grade but I love the coffe room, it has a bunch of things I’ve always wondered about
August 24, 2016 6:37 am at 6:37 am #1170776ExcellenceParticipantRead Sefer Habayis by Rabbi Yosef Lerner on hospitality of the home. Very paramount to know.
Guests at the table enough times can earn the bracha of Avraham Ovinu himself. It also atones for one’s transgressions, and it is vital to escort guests out the door even a short distance.
August 25, 2016 2:48 am at 2:48 am #1170777Ex-CTLawyerParticipantYehudayona……….
My mother Z”L died last year at 93 years of age. Whenever she was offered coffee by a waiter or host she’d reply: “I’m not old enough to drink coffee.” She never tasted it. My brother tasted it in April for the first time on his 70th birthday. My 67 year old sister has never tasted coffee.
I am typing this as I have my 8th cup of the day
August 25, 2016 1:37 pm at 1:37 pm #1170778ExcellenceParticipantCoffee is an addiction like smoking or drugs or alcohol. When you have you are calm, when you don’t you are edgy.
I have never drunk coffee. Too smart for that.
August 25, 2016 3:08 pm at 3:08 pm #1170779takahmamashParticipantCharlie equalized the guest wife helping in the kitchen with the guest “husbands” helping in the kitchen. His intention was egalitarianism (as he makes clear in his voluminous posting history). That is anathema to Jewish values.
It’s not an anathema. It’s proper derech eretz. Maybe it’s written in your ketuba that the kitchen is your wife’s quarters and job, but it’s not written in our ketuba . . . and I doube it’s written in anyone elses, either.
August 25, 2016 4:55 pm at 4:55 pm #1170780Lilmod UlelamaidParticipanttakahmamash, Nowhere did Joseph write that men helping in the kitchen is anathema to Jewish values. He wrote that egalitarianism is anathema to Jewish values. Apparently, based on things that Charlie has written in the past, Joseph felt it was reasonable to assume that he (she?)was coming from a position of egalitarianism and was attacking the concept that there are differences between men and women. The issue was not the specific example but the intention behind it.
I haven’t been in the CR that long, but I did look at some old threads, and if I’m not mistaken, Charlie is Open Orthodox and a follower of Avi Weiss. I believe that Rabbanim from the entire spectrum of the Orthodox world have declared that Open Orthodoxy is not Orthodox, hence, one is obligated to come out against positions that are coming from that hashkafa.
August 25, 2016 5:02 pm at 5:02 pm #1170781Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantPs to previous post: I just located the original post from Charlie. Personally, it doesn’t sound to me like it was coming from any kind of hashkafe – it sounds like a simple statement that men can help in the kitchen, which is true.
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