Inviting other young couples over for a seuda

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Viewing 42 posts - 51 through 92 (of 92 total)
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  • #1170739
    gavra_at_work
    Participant

    “Perhaps that was the RBSO’s plan to get the Bashert’s together?”

    I didnt finish all shas(yet), so I can not say this definitvely, but am reasonably certain that even though harbeh shluchim lamakom, this is not one of them.

    I know it’s Adar but surely there are limits to the the craziness.

    Tanach has stranger stories, such as Yehudah and Tamar.

    #1170740

    The Queen,

    Taking that spirit to it’s conclusion

    is

    in opposition to what hold dear and dangerous

    #1170741

    When in Na”ch did the the Nivi”im refrain from castigating sinners or even grayish area

    and instead said

    like you??

    #1170742
    apushatayid
    Participant

    If moshiach will be born of this union then I’ll grant you, it was bashert.

    #1170743
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    IiTfT,

    Writing your post like this

    surely

    does not improve the quality.

    #1170744
    The Queen
    Participant

    Time for truth: Right. NOT recommended.

    #1170745
    birdson
    Participant

    One of my rabbeim advises couples to only host family until they have children. Not because of jealousy or any of the other reasons mentioned, but simply because it is a time for a husband and wife to be together.

    #1170746
    mdd
    Member

    No, Joseph, she just judged others le’kaf zechus and according to their chezkas kashrus.

    #1170747
    Avi K
    Participant

    Birdson, perhaps Israelis are different from my observations new marrieds very often go to their parents for Shabbat. Veterans in the community also like to invite new residents in order to get to know them.

    #1170748
    flatbusher
    Participant

    AviK, among chasidim it is traditional for the first year of marriage to alternate between sets of parents for Shabbos. I don’t think this is the point of this thread.

    #1170749

    After you jave kids, it’s messed up to thing you shouldn’t be having shabbos guests. It’s hack soon or him, sip making everything a big issue. My parents always have people over and we have an awesome time. Chill out

    #1170750
    Sparkly
    Member

    why shouldnt you invite over your other married friends?

    #1170751
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    After you jave kids, it’s messed up to thing you shouldn’t be having shabbos guests. It’s hack soon or him, sip making everything a big issue. My parents always have people over and we have an awesome time. Chill out

    When come back, bring English.

    The Wolf

    #1170752
    Excellence
    Participant

    What jealously? OBVIOUSLY your wife has to be agreeable. Guests at table is how people get to know one another and network for dating.

    #1170753
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Wolf – he’s a kid, give him a break. He wrote somewhere that he’s in elementary school

    #1170754
    Meno
    Participant

    Isn’t there an age limit in the coffee room? If not, there should be

    #1170755
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Meno, that did occur to me. I didn’t agree with the posters who thought that the teenage post-high school girls didn’t belong, but there is a big difference between a post-high school girl and an elementary school boy.

    I’m not sure it’s so appropriate for an elementary school boy to be here.

    #1170756

    Wolf, by the way, I always think your comments make sense.

    #1170757
    Sparkly
    Member

    Meno- i agree. most sites make age limits but not yeshiva world.

    #1170758

    don wori i am babbi stil

    #1170759
    Meno
    Participant

    What does it mean when you click on a username and you get an error saying “user not found”?

    Is it because they used to have a different username and their profile page is still under their old name?

    #1170760
    yehudayona
    Participant

    If you’re too young to drink coffee, you don’t belong in the coffee room.

    #1170761
    Sparkly
    Member

    yehudayona – very funny.

    #1170762
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    That can’t be the reason because that’s what happens when I click on my own username and I never had another username.

    I guess I’m a figment of my own imagination.

    #1170763

    Meno, it usually means there is a space in the username.

    #1170764
    charliehall
    Participant

    “why can’t the ‘guest wife’ help in the kitchen? “

    Why can’t the husbands help in the kitchen?

    #1170765
    Meno
    Participant

    So then they have no profile page? Or do you just have to modify the address?

    #1170766
    Joseph
    Participant

    The kitchen is the wife’s quarters and job.

    #1170768
    Sparkly
    Member

    charliehall – good question. who are you asking?

    #1170769
    Meno
    Participant

    Never mind, you just replace the %20 with a dash

    #1170770
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Joseph – who says?

    #1170771
    Joseph
    Participant

    5,000 years of history and traditional roles of men and women.

    #1170772
    iacisrmma
    Participant

    Joseph: Rav Pam TZATZAL was asked a question about husbands helping their wives cook. He responded – As long as my wife worked in the public school system I made the potato kugel for shabbos.

    #1170773
    Joseph
    Participant

    My response is customized for the audience and conversation. Charlie equalized the guest wife helping in the kitchen with the guest “husbands” helping in the kitchen. His intention was egalitarianism (as he makes clear in his voluminous posting history). That is anathema to Jewish values.

    #1170774
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Joseph: “5,000 years of history and traditional roles of men and women.”

    That’s why the guy has to pick up the girl…

    I hadn’t read Charlie’s post so I didn’t realize he was talking about guest husbands. I think the problem with that is that it’s not tznius since the hostess is most likely the main person in the kitchen even if her husband helps.

    I agree with you that egalitarianism is not Jewish, but I do think that men should help in the kitchen, and in general. Exactly how things are divided depends on the couple and what works for them, and there is no right or wrong way.

    I have found that in most homes, the women and girls serve and the men and boys clear.

    #1170775

    I’m going into 8th grade but I love the coffe room, it has a bunch of things I’ve always wondered about

    #1170776
    Excellence
    Participant

    Read Sefer Habayis by Rabbi Yosef Lerner on hospitality of the home. Very paramount to know.

    Guests at the table enough times can earn the bracha of Avraham Ovinu himself. It also atones for one’s transgressions, and it is vital to escort guests out the door even a short distance.

    #1170777
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Yehudayona……….

    My mother Z”L died last year at 93 years of age. Whenever she was offered coffee by a waiter or host she’d reply: “I’m not old enough to drink coffee.” She never tasted it. My brother tasted it in April for the first time on his 70th birthday. My 67 year old sister has never tasted coffee.

    I am typing this as I have my 8th cup of the day

    #1170778
    Excellence
    Participant

    Coffee is an addiction like smoking or drugs or alcohol. When you have you are calm, when you don’t you are edgy.

    I have never drunk coffee. Too smart for that.

    #1170779
    takahmamash
    Participant

    Charlie equalized the guest wife helping in the kitchen with the guest “husbands” helping in the kitchen. His intention was egalitarianism (as he makes clear in his voluminous posting history). That is anathema to Jewish values.

    It’s not an anathema. It’s proper derech eretz. Maybe it’s written in your ketuba that the kitchen is your wife’s quarters and job, but it’s not written in our ketuba . . . and I doube it’s written in anyone elses, either.

    #1170780
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    takahmamash, Nowhere did Joseph write that men helping in the kitchen is anathema to Jewish values. He wrote that egalitarianism is anathema to Jewish values. Apparently, based on things that Charlie has written in the past, Joseph felt it was reasonable to assume that he (she?)was coming from a position of egalitarianism and was attacking the concept that there are differences between men and women. The issue was not the specific example but the intention behind it.

    I haven’t been in the CR that long, but I did look at some old threads, and if I’m not mistaken, Charlie is Open Orthodox and a follower of Avi Weiss. I believe that Rabbanim from the entire spectrum of the Orthodox world have declared that Open Orthodoxy is not Orthodox, hence, one is obligated to come out against positions that are coming from that hashkafa.

    #1170781
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    Ps to previous post: I just located the original post from Charlie. Personally, it doesn’t sound to me like it was coming from any kind of hashkafe – it sounds like a simple statement that men can help in the kitchen, which is true.

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