Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Introverts thread
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May 16, 2011 6:42 pm at 6:42 pm #596920chocandpatienceMember
I’m one.
Are you?
May 16, 2011 7:02 pm at 7:02 pm #1193385wanderingchanaParticipantI’d rather not say…
May 16, 2011 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #1193386Pac-ManMemberI am.
May 16, 2011 7:16 pm at 7:16 pm #1193387gefenParticipantI’m too shy to answer.
May 16, 2011 7:17 pm at 7:17 pm #1193388Lomed Mkol AdamMemberYes I am. My wife is extroverted. Was wondering how it would be marrying an introvert like myself.
May 16, 2011 7:22 pm at 7:22 pm #1193389BSDMemberI am-that’s what i love about the cr. I can do my socializing virtually.:)
May 16, 2011 7:27 pm at 7:27 pm #1193390adorableParticipantI am not one by any stretch of the imagination but wish I could be sometimes!
May 16, 2011 8:05 pm at 8:05 pm #1193391hanibParticipantwhy adorable?
(i’m definitely one and don’t mind it)
May 16, 2011 8:51 pm at 8:51 pm #1193392chocandpatienceMemberI’m content with being an introvert, but sometimes I wish I could have the ‘chattiness’ of an extrovert when meeting new people.
May 16, 2011 9:12 pm at 9:12 pm #1193393canineMemberCan some of the introverts here please describe how you are introverted (and if it bothers you)?
May 16, 2011 9:25 pm at 9:25 pm #1193394ha ha ha haMemberMay 16, 2011 9:54 pm at 9:54 pm #1193395chocandpatienceMember“Can some of the introverts here please describe how you are introverted (and if it bothers you)? “
I like peace and quiet, and have no problem being alone.
I listen more than I talk, (which is a *big* advantage – you learn a lot just by listening).
I don’t gush warmth, though I am a warm person. That is sometimes a problem as my naturally restrained “that’s nice” may be taken for indifference.
May 16, 2011 10:02 pm at 10:02 pm #1193396chayaleahMemberI think when you are an introvert you need time away from people for a while. I know I cannot be in crowds as it makes me nervous. An extrovert is always looking to socialize and make new friends, and I would rather just have a few close ones. Introverts are more sensitive to feelings I think.
May 16, 2011 10:05 pm at 10:05 pm #1193397canineMemberIs introvert the same as anti-social?
May 16, 2011 10:20 pm at 10:20 pm #1193398tomim tihyeMemberSo not my thread.
May 16, 2011 11:00 pm at 11:00 pm #1193399observanteenMemberI’m an extrovert. But I sometimes wish I weren’t this friendly and outgoing. It is too often that I speak L”H, make others feel bad… Ugh, I just feel awful afterwards and envy those who keep their mouth shut.
May 16, 2011 11:04 pm at 11:04 pm #1193400Pac-ManMemberI think extroverts should marry introverts (and vice versa).
May 16, 2011 11:13 pm at 11:13 pm #1193401ZeesKiteParticipantPac-Man: ‘(and vice versa)’
Isn’t that implied?!?
May 16, 2011 11:29 pm at 11:29 pm #1193402StuffedCabbageParticipantPac-Man- why? one of them is gonna end up really frustrated…..
May 16, 2011 11:30 pm at 11:30 pm #1193403s2021MemberPac-man- why do u say that? I dont think I would be able to handle my opposite vert.
May 16, 2011 11:48 pm at 11:48 pm #1193404Lomed Mkol AdamMemberI would say that the majority of people are extroverts and the minority are introverts. I wonder what is the actual ratio.
Introverts tend to be more thinkers than doers. Also they don’t require recognition from other people in order for themselves to feel secure.
May 17, 2011 12:11 am at 12:11 am #1193405ShrekParticipantI am definitely an introvert. I like people, but not in large numbers. A thoughtful discussion with a few friends as opposed to a party with lots of new faces.
I think our society values extroverts much more than introverts. “outgoing” is considered a desirable personality trait, while “quiet” is considered dull.
May 17, 2011 12:57 am at 12:57 am #1193406Ayala11ParticipantI don’t think that ‘extroverts do this’ and ‘introverts do that’ I think what it is is how you ‘ref-uel’ I know that whenever I have guests over I need to leave at least once for a few minutes to sort of re-fuel.
May 17, 2011 12:59 am at 12:59 am #1193407Shticky GuyParticipantI wouldnt mind being an introvert cos ???? ????? ????? so they must all be clever.
On the other hand, ?????? ??? ????? ?? ????? ?? or ?? ????? ??? ??? so I still have a chance.
May 17, 2011 5:48 am at 5:48 am #1193408HealthParticipantIntrovert and can’t stand the loud, macher type!
May 17, 2011 6:51 am at 6:51 am #1193409mischiefmakerMemberI asked someone professional about this and she said as follows:
extrovert-can be outgoing, bubbly, friendly… and after a “party” look for another party to “recharge”
introvert-can be outgoing, bubbly, friendly…or can be quiet and shy… and after a party needs time alone to recharge. This DOES NOT mean antisocial. That’s a whole separate category.
I don’t know what I am b/c of current situations I’m antisocial but I hate it and I don’t think I really am that way on a normal basis.
May 17, 2011 7:05 am at 7:05 am #1193410hanibParticipantIsn’t that implied?!?
lol!
but, actually no – cuz statistics of myers-brigg show that 75% of population are extroverts (i’ll let you guys do the math to figure out how many are introverts ;)), so there would be a real shidduch crisis if we were to follow this advice. ?
mischief-maker – i go by your definition. i could be lively and talkative and appear extroverted at a party, but i don’t feel true to myself when i do so. i really enjoy and feel good about one-on-one, more meaningful conversations. i hate playground talk.
another definition is: do you go to the library for the peace and quiet or do you go to the library to seek out other people to talk to?
i enjoy being an introvert – have a lot of good, long-time, close friends. i wouldn’t mind being an extrovert at a simcha, where there are tons of people and have to make small talk. (i enjoy simchas most if i can find one person i know well and can get into good conversation with her.)
May 17, 2011 9:03 am at 9:03 am #1193411TheGoqParticipantI am a loner by nature, and used to have real anxiety in social settings i had trouble holding a job, i have been on medications for this for about 6,7 years and the medication makes a huge difference and i am now able to cope i still prefer being alone to being in a crowd but it no longer terrifies me to do so.
May 17, 2011 1:52 pm at 1:52 pm #1193412adorableParticipantI am an extrovert but wish I knew how to keep my mouth shut sometimes. I also get nervous from some of my friends who are introverts and dont talk much….if they know I am going through something they might not call me to find out how i’m doing because they figure that i know they are davening and will call me when I am ready to talk. On the other hand, sometimes I wish they would just call me and tell me that they are thinking about me and ask me how I’m managing… I guess each one has its good and its bad parts.
May 17, 2011 3:21 pm at 3:21 pm #1193413Lomed Mkol AdamMemberBina: Is your spouse an introvert like yourself, or is he an extrovert?
May 17, 2011 3:24 pm at 3:24 pm #1193414Pac-ManMemberI think an introvert/extrovert spousal relationship compliments one another.
May 17, 2011 3:55 pm at 3:55 pm #1193415veteranMember“statistics of myers-brigg show that 75% of population are extroverts”
The Myers-Briggs definitions of introvert and extrovert is different from the colloquial usages of the words. In MBTI, an introvert is one who thinks “internally” and an extrovert is one who thinks “externally”. For example, an MBTI extrovert is likely to be someone who talks through their thoughts. An MBTI introvert is one who is likely not to say anything until he has thought through the subject and solidified his ideas. if you put the two of them in the room together, the likely outcome is that the introvert will think to himself, “why can’t that guy be quiet so I can think”, and the extrovert will think to himself, “that guy just doesn’t have any useful ideas”.
In the colloquial sense, we mean socially introvert and extrovert, i.e. shy vs. outgoing. So MBTI isn’t really useful in this discussion.
May 17, 2011 3:59 pm at 3:59 pm #1193416twistedParticipantTo certain extremes. I dont like crowds, parties, or kiddushes, and only really open up with knowns, and boards like this. Anonymity is both a comfort and a discomfort.
May 17, 2011 4:36 pm at 4:36 pm #1193417adorableParticipantI am shy in some cases like I have a hard time when I meet new people but I dont think that anyone sees that or knows it. In general I am an outgoing person which has its nisyonos too
May 17, 2011 4:43 pm at 4:43 pm #1193418TheGoqParticipantI rarely eat at others for shabbos meals its not enjoyable some of these meals can be very drawn out i just find it draining.
May 17, 2011 5:16 pm at 5:16 pm #1193419hanibParticipantveteran: except that some of us were defining ourselves as introverts based on the myers-brigg definitions, such as at least: me, mischiefmaker, and possibly shrek. maybe others, i don’t know.
lomed mikol edom: yup. and pretty much the same way. though not the way veteran defines it.
veteran – don’t people generally say that women need to talk through their thoughts (i know i do) and men don’t?
May 17, 2011 9:24 pm at 9:24 pm #1193420veteranMemberbinahyeseira- You define yourself as an introvert per MBTI and you talk through your thoughts? Sounds to me like you need to be retested, or you didn’t test well.
Your generalization about men and women may or may not be true, but the MB Test results are that you are I or E, not “Man” or “Woman” 🙂 (Personally, I disagree with the generalization).
May 18, 2011 6:55 am at 6:55 am #1193421hanibParticipanti’ve read the book – “please understand me”, and it gives a whole list of what is introvert and what isn’t. my basic understanding of the difference is that introverts prefer 1 on 1 conversations and extroverts get a high when in a crowd with lots of people – basically, where does one feel energized from and which way depletes one’s energy.
of course, there’s a continuum and most people will have some aspects of both.
anyways, in the colloquial definition, i am still an introvert, but don’t appear to be one. i am extremely shy, but don’t appear to be so cuz when i know someone well i’m not shy with them and i still smile at people even though i am EXTREMELY shy. in this sense, my husband is not an introvert, as he is not shy – though he would also not be defined as an extrovert (very loud, outgoing).
May 18, 2011 6:59 am at 6:59 am #1193422hanibParticipantjust found the book and looked up what it says about I and E.
extrovert: ………………… introvert:
sociability ………………. territoriality
interaction ………………. concentration
external ………………. internal
breadth …………….. depth
extensive …………….. intensive
multiplicity of relationships .. limited relationships
expenditure of energies …… conservation of energies
interest in external events .. interest in internal reaction
this book was written by Keirsey and Bates based on Jung and Myers typology. on the back cover, it says: “please understand me” provides a useful vocabulary and phraseology for applying th jung-myers concepts of type.”
by the way, it’s a great book. 😉 (if you’re into stuff like this)
May 22, 2011 1:35 pm at 1:35 pm #1193423wallflowerParticipantYes, I’m an introvert.
Introversion is not shyness. I hate when people think that. Shyness means “anxiety in social situations.” Introversion means quiet by choice.
Another great book: “I’m Not Crazy, I’m Just Not You.”
May 22, 2011 2:21 pm at 2:21 pm #1193424wallflowerParticipantAdorable-why do you wish you’re an introvert?
Canine-why on earth would it bother me that I’m an introvert? It’s so stereotypical to think that people who would rather read a book than throw a party are miserably shy.
Introverts: what about extroverts annoys you most?
May 22, 2011 2:46 pm at 2:46 pm #1193425oomisParticipantI wanted to post something, but I was too shy.
May 22, 2011 3:55 pm at 3:55 pm #1193426HealthParticipantwallflower -Can’t get in a word edgewise. Can’t hear myself think because of the loudness.
May 22, 2011 10:42 pm at 10:42 pm #1193427yossi z.Memberbased on the definitions given here i would say i am an introvert with an extrovert side to me
😀 Zuberman! 😀
May 23, 2011 6:09 pm at 6:09 pm #1193428adorableParticipantI think I am an extrovert with a tiny side of introvert
May 24, 2011 12:37 am at 12:37 am #1193429observanteenMemberI think most people have a little from both. I don’t think it’s a black and white answer.
I am an extrovert. But sometimes, I feel like an introvert (I like to spend time by myself, read a book instead of socializing etc.).
June 3, 2011 12:57 am at 12:57 am #1193430toomuch00MemberI need help. Im having a really hard time accepting that im an “introvert”. i live in a small community which makes it so so so much worse- because all the girls my age socialize the whole day. theyre all over the place, doing everything. i stay in my house. basically all day every day. i just dont enjoy going out with them. yet they always , not intentionally to hurt me, make comments about how i dont come out. i dont say anything back because they wont understand or even know what the word means! But these comments hurt me and i have extremely low self esteem because of it.and since the community is so close knit (my family is mostly introverted too)i even feel like i dont belong when i walk down the block! like i cant even enjoy my community beacause im scared ill meet someone. its been bothering me for the past year really bad.any suggestions would be great. thanx.
June 3, 2011 4:27 am at 4:27 am #1193431observanteenMembertoomuch: Being an introvert isn’t bad as long as it doesn’t hurt you in any way. If you feel your neighbors and friends get annoyed when you stay closeted in your house then go out to them. I too, have very outgoing and friendly neighbors and friends who expect me to spend a LOT of time with them. At times, I feel like reading a book or bake etc. But I know I have to invest in the friendship.
Also, because you’re spending so much time by yourself, you didn’t really develop your social skills (as you describe). It’s not too late. Go out, make some friends and try to keep the conversation light (although you probably enjoy deep and meaningful conversations, some people find it annoying) and on their level. Yeah, I know it might feel awkward and silly discussing dumb stuff like clothing etc. but with time, you’ll come to tolerate and maybe even enjoy these discussions. Just listen, nod your head, share jokes stories etc. Be cooperative and take part in their games, slumber parties, b-day parties etc.
Good luck!
June 3, 2011 2:47 pm at 2:47 pm #1193432adorableParticipantI love socializing but also need “down” time for myself I think its normal
June 3, 2011 10:51 pm at 10:51 pm #1193433mewhoParticipantoh wow, i thought people were going to post if they are an innie or an outtie
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