Intimidated by men who know so much

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  • #601699
    skiaddict
    Member

    Its weird and all but i feel like all these men on here that know so much stuff, like in a second they can quote meforshim in the whole gemoro, are amazing, its a bit intimidating(not in a bad way)i feel like i dare not argue with them cos they are so amazing and know so much more than me.

    What i mean is that i respect them for being so knowledgeble, and feel inadequate compared. Do any other women feel like that or do i just get impressed too easily?

    Similar point, also by a shiur, i have huge respect for the rov because he knows so much stuff that i will never. But today i was thinking that i disagreed with something a rov said but i told myself i betta just accept because he is way above me and knows betta. Im sure there is something wrong with my reasoning but cant figure out.

    #845061

    Yeah, I am impressed when I see their discussions going on. But its more like the picture that comes to my mind is of just how many years were put into being able to know that knowledge of Torah. How many years of dedication they sat in cheyder, yeshiva etc.

    But I have no idea what they are talking about.

    #845062
    sternberger
    Member

    i feel like that also, but it might be that we both are impressed to easily… 😉

    u need 2 follow ur rovs psak, but if theres a diff psak u might just be thinking of it when u said that u disagree w/ ur rov

    #845063
    squeak
    Participant

    See, this is why we have a shidduch crisis. The girls are simply not good enough for the guys, thats why they are left in the cold

    #845064
    Sam2
    Participant

    How do you know? This is an anonymous forum. All of the really knowledgeable people here might be girls.

    #845065
    Nechomah
    Participant

    I’m always impressed with how much the men know and I know that my tafkid is not to know gemorah like they do but to know the issues pertinent to my life. There’s a ton that you can learn if you want and it’s the women who know so much that really impress me. They did it while still making/building their houses. Truly amazing.

    Squeak, do you want to know as much as your husband? Shouldn’t he be the rov of the house (and know when to go to his rov to ask shailos)? I think part of the shidduch crisis is that the girls know too much and we don’t know when to just listen – we want to voice our opinion too. The men don’t always like that. The biggest trick in finding the right shidduch I think is to find a man who is willing to take your feelings into account. This is what I was advised when I was dating my husband. My rebbetzin asked me if he would take me into consideration when deciding on a new chumra for the house or would he just barge forward. There are chumras that the man can take upon himself without forcing his wife to do the same (like not carrying on Shabbos even if there is an eruv) and there are chumras that will require a lot of extra work on her part so he should take that into consideration when deciding how to implement keeping that chumra.

    #845066
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    Sam2 –

    +1

    lol

    #845067
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    Women too can throw around pas and shoskim, randomly. How about my Shor Shenagach for women? Maybe we start a shiur of the women, by the women, for the women?

    #845068
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    I think squeak must be an inherently girly word. There’s no other explanation for this.

    #845069
    chelsealew
    Member

    I Personally feel that yes, if a rav says a psak Halacha, there’s no reason to argue against it since it’s Halacha, but when a rav says something that is just a matter of opinion, one is entitled to argue. And you shouldn’tbe intimidated by intellectual men. You don’t need that much intellect to Have an opinion and argue it.

    #845070
    MDG
    Participant

    skiaddict said:

    “But today i was thinking that i disagreed with something a rov said but i told myself i betta just accept because he is way above me and knows betta. “

    The next time you should respectfully ask. If you are wrong you will learn a little more as you hear an explanation. If you are right, then you can bring someone to the truth. Do not assume infallibility.

    Besides which, a Rav learns more when he is questioned as he has to think clearly about what he is saying.

    #845071
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    Sam2, yitayningwut, is there something you’d like to confess…? XD

    #845072
    sam4321
    Participant

    Like MDG said there is nothing wrong with asking in a respectful manner.

    Just to add, there are things that women do that are extremely impressive taking care of kids, cleaning, cooking, helping with homework, and working a job while their at it .

    #845073

    “Squeak, do you want to know as much as your husband?”

    Hee hee! This is not the first time.

    #845074
    skiaddict
    Member

    Yeah Zeeskite lets start a womens shiur! BUT i dunno whos gonna give it! Maybe one of the fake men!!!

    MDG- im talking about in middle of a public shiur where its not always possible to ask questions, can i disagree in my head?

    #845075

    It’s not the quantity of the knowledge, but the quality, and, even more, what you do with it.

    Personally I wasn’t frum my whole life and my knowledge is rather limited – particulary gemoro-wise. But that doesn’t bother me, since I have plenty of knowledge (though I always strive to learn more) and I have sufficient knowledge to be able to find whatever I want to find.

    Wisdom compensates quite well for lack of knowledge, and wisdom is something you have, or don’t have.

    #845076
    WIY
    Member

    Skiaddict

    If the Rabbi quotes a sefer and you disagree, you need a valid reason Halachic or Hashkafic for disagreeing. You can’t just disagree because you don’t like what he said.

    #845077
    BTGuy
    Participant

    Hi skiaddict.

    I am with you on that, and I am a guy.

    The women, too, can talk the talk and walk the walk as well.

    It’s pretty awesome to read and I learn a lot, and they all deserve tremendous respect.

    I wish there was a yeshiva I could go to where I did not have to leave what I do for a few months. Otherwise, I remind myself that I do spend a lot of time learning, on my level, and have come very far, BH, from where I was.

    There is SO much to know and many people who know SO much. I feel blessed to find real Judaism.

    #845078
    bpt
    Participant

    “men on here that know so much stuff”

    One word: Google. Ok, two words: Wikipidia as well.

    80% of what I know, was aquired by reading and listening to those who knew more than I do.

    The remaining 20% (or more importantly,the 20% I need to launch a compelling case) is the result of a web search, culling the info that’s out there, and coming to a conclusion that I feel I can stand behind.

    I may not have all the answers, but I know where to look for them.

    #845079
    yitayningwut
    Participant

    OneOfMany – lol, not anytime soon.

    #845080
    WIY
    Member

    Sam2

    ” How do you know? This is an anonymous forum. All ofthe really knowledgeable people here might be girls.”

    This is an anonymous forum. All ofthe really knowledgeable people here might be the same person with many screen names.

    #845081
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    Men just know how to google better

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