- This topic has 1,097 replies, 133 voices, and was last updated 9 years, 6 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
22OldGold: nice ones there!!!!
22OG, you are so right!
My personal favorite: “Take it easy, life goes on.” (fyi, that’s my version of gam zeh ya’avor.”)
~a~
22oldgold those were great! and like the joke goes:
someone asked a 100 year old women what the best benefit is about reaching 100? she replied, no peer pressure.
22oldgold: nice ones$
kapusta: ha that is a good one!!!!!!
“why does everybody seek happiness, when happiness is a choice?”
areivimzehlazeh: nice one!!!!!
areivimzehlazeh: nice one!!$
ames: chahcam is a wise man nothing to do with knowledge
kapusta: can we get a translation?
teen basically that chachma is present by the goyim but not torah
22oldgold, I tried (somewhat effectively) to put the “dont tell Hashem how big your troubles are, tell your troubles how big Hashem is” into use. cant say I passed 100%, but maybe getting there eventually. Its very much appreciated and I thought it deserved a special thank you.
R’ Paysach Krohn quoted in a talk of his “A broken clock is right twice a day”
(point being to look at things positively)
“don’t take life too seriously – no one gets out alive!!!”
thanx! i saw it somewhere 2day (tho not for the 1st time) & immediately thought “a perfect quote for the cr!!!” 😉
AOB: thats like despite the complaints (or something like that) of the living, do you notice how popular it remains?
yeah 🙂
an oldie…a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
or the purim version………..
a journey of a thousand steps begins with a single mile 🙂
kapusta: nice nice!!!
kapusta: good one’s.$
While we’re on the subject, then,
Confucious say, Woman who put detergent on top shelf soon jump for Joy.
‘I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke up this morning and the pillow was gone.’
‘I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize’
You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said ‘Parking Fine.”
How many people here have telekinetic powers? Raise my hand.’
Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.’
I went into a McDonald’s yesterday and said, ‘I’d like some fries.’ The girl at the counter said, ‘Would you like some fries with that?”
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.’
Now, it’s true I married my wife for her looks…but not the ones she’s been givin’ me lately.’
Sometimes I think war is God’s way of teaching us geography’
‘When I was born I was so surprised I didn’t talk for a year and a half.’
I’ve got all the money I’ll ever need; if I die by four O’clock’
‘If at first you don’t succeed… So much for skydiving.’
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.’
I’ve been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she’ll kill me.’
My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that’s not so bad; but New York City?’
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.’
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She’s ninety-seven now, and we don’t know where the heck she is.’
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.’
Just because nobody complains doesn’t mean all parachutes are perfect.’
You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.’
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor’
‘Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind!!!!!!’
Not all that inspiring. Neither is this, though
I came home one day to find that my apartment was broken into. Every single thing that I owned was gone, but the thief had replaced it all with exact replicas. So I waited on the copy of my favorite armchair until my roommate came home. As soon as he walked through the door, I said Look! Everything! Stolen! Replaced with replicas! He said, “Who are you?”
where’d you pick these up from? awesome
youth is wasted on the young.
“You can’t expect people to look eye to eye with you if you are looking down on them.”
“You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.”
”Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don’t have film!”
“don’t drink and drive you might spill your beer”
moish, nice. I like both of those.
~a~
Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.
moish: i think an open book said that one.$
oh my bad!
don’t worry, i won’t punish you.$
kind of you, qwertyuiop
what can i say, i’m a very kind person.$ 🙂
yeah i did say that one. but i like the 2 others u gave!
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.”
an open book: good one!!$
“If things don’t go the way you want, then want the way they go.”
i know, rite? 🙂
hey 22oldgold, i like that! ive heard variations of it but not that exact wording
not so inspiring but remember who said this one?
“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we.”
wow those are all great!!! thanx!!!
moish- it’s driving me nuts. That quote sounds so familiar, but I can’t place it- please enlighten me
ha i thought everyone would recognize it… one of the famous quotes that are the basis of “Bushism”
“They lived happily for 20 years. Then they met.”
-Al Gore-
torahtziva: nice one!!!!
thanks for the compliment. Here is another nice one.
“The average american family has 1.5 kids and and a dog!!!!!!!!!!!!”
torahtziva: your welcome kiddo!!! yes they do!!!
Here is a favorite of mine:
Some people take their atheism very religiously!
When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country.
obviously by a woman.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.