Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › In/Out of the Box?
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September 16, 2014 5:21 am at 5:21 am #613687eftachbchinorMember
Should a person strive to be rather in the box, or out of the box? (I know everyone has their own understanding of what ‘in the box’ means. I’m leaving that open to each individual’s interpretation.)
I, for one, cannot stand boxes of any sort. (except Breadberry’s or Pomegranate’s or Evergreen’s or Chanuka gifts or…Those I like when there’s good stuff inside.) But maybe the desire to break free of any is in itself a box? Whaddya think…?
September 16, 2014 12:52 pm at 12:52 pm #1051942☕️coffee addictParticipantwell if its a good box(like talmedei chachamim) i would say yes
if its a bad box (like new yorkers are snobby) i would say no
September 16, 2014 1:08 pm at 1:08 pm #1051943oomisParticipantStrive to be “in the box,” but always consider keeping the mind open to that which is “out of the box.” Not everything in life goes according to the neat little preconceptions that we have in our minds. It is good to be mainstream, but sometimes we have to take a detour, and we need the flexibility to deal with it.
September 16, 2014 2:51 pm at 2:51 pm #1051944eftachbchinorMemberoomis- Why is it good to be mainstream?
September 16, 2014 5:01 pm at 5:01 pm #1051945HaLeiViParticipantPut a small box into the bigger one and come out of that one.
September 16, 2014 6:17 pm at 6:17 pm #1051946eftachbchinorMemberGood one, HaLeivi. Think I’m gonna try it. Wait- does that mean you want me to be wishy-washy? 🙂 I’m assuming it means to break my preconceived cultural notions and selfishness, while maintaining societal boundaries. Did I chap?
September 16, 2014 6:37 pm at 6:37 pm #1051947👑RebYidd23ParticipantAn original is more valuable than a copy.
September 16, 2014 8:53 pm at 8:53 pm #1051948Letakein GirlParticipantIt’s good to be mainstream cuz generally, when a lot of people do something a certain way, there is a valid reason for it.
September 16, 2014 9:21 pm at 9:21 pm #1051949HaLeiViParticipantThere’s plenty of room to be original before leaving a society, which in turn puts you in the box of like minded individuals. I know plenty of people who in their quest to find originality are exactly like the rest of them.
I am not made out of my hat. My clothing (for the first couple of months) look like those of my friends, but I don’t think people confuse me for someone else.
You can be original but if your goal is simply originality that is hardly original.
September 16, 2014 9:41 pm at 9:41 pm #1051950👑RebYidd23ParticipantBut many things are personal. They may have valid reasons, but those reasons may not apply to everyone.
September 16, 2014 10:46 pm at 10:46 pm #1051951eftachbchinorMemberTrue, RebYidd. I agree.
Letakein Girl- yeah? or are they all following the person in front and walking in circles?
September 17, 2014 5:54 pm at 5:54 pm #1051952oyyoyyoyParticipantIt’s good to be mainstream cuz generally, when a lot of people do something a certain way, there is a valid reason for it.
generally yes.
many times people use “out of the box” as a cover for a feeling of one or more of the following: non acceptance, rebellion, low self esteem and overcompensate, haughtiness/ holier than thou etc.
Haleivi- i think i mostly agree with you except, “You can be original but if your goal is simply originality that is hardly original.”
Sometimes a persons originality is stifled by a strong feeling to follow along with everyone else. In such a case he has to actively be original to balance hisself out.
September 18, 2014 12:48 am at 12:48 am #1051953Letakein GirlParticipantEvatchbechinor,
Notice that I wrote “generally.”
In some cases, it is indeed the kind of thing where everyone is playing a game of follow the leader. But the majority of times, society has some logic to the way they do things. To say otherwise is just stupid.
September 18, 2014 2:11 am at 2:11 am #1051954oomisParticipantEvtach, it’s good to be mainstream, because we have to live within the bounds of society. But please note, I ALSO said, that we have to be flexible, and sometimes that means accepting out of the box thinking, as well. But if we didn’t GENERALLY follow mainstream rules of order, everything would be chaotic.
Sometimes we also have to accept that not everyone is able to conform ALL the time. But there has to be SOME conformity at least some of the time. We cannot live in a balagan.
September 21, 2014 8:32 pm at 8:32 pm #1051955RandomexMemberShould a person strive to be rather in the box, or out of the box?
Neither. The focus should be on what is necessary, while ensuring that you remain, to a certain extent, “in the box,” because 1) “L’olam y’hei dato shel adam me’urav im habrios” / “Al tifrosh min hatzibbur,” 2) of practical reasons – you don’t want to be
rejected by your society. But so long as you can get away with something, it’s okay (assuming it’s not something you shouldn’t be trying to get away with).
I, for one, cannot stand boxes of any sort. […] But maybe the desire to break free of any is in itself a box?
If you’re influenced by (read as: consume) non-Jewish media,
that may well be. They’re apparently trying to turn out an entire nation of identical anti-authoritarian individualists.
Anyway, if you’re bored, leave the CR alone and go watch Maru the cat, or some unboxing videos. Maybe you’ll learn to like boxes! But not as much as Maru 🙂
October 29, 2014 4:40 am at 4:40 am #1051956eftachbchinorMemberRandomex, I just re-read this. I like your answer. Sorry took so long to respond ;).
October 29, 2014 4:40 am at 4:40 am #1051957eftachbchinorMemberActually, you all had nice things to say. Thanks!
October 29, 2014 9:56 am at 9:56 am #1051958BarryLS1ParticipantDepends on whose box it is. Too many teens go off the derech because the box of acceptability expected of them has gotten so small that many just don’t fit.
Now, if the “box” is Torah and sensible yiddishkeit, then I’m all for it.
October 29, 2014 11:22 am at 11:22 am #1051959ChortkovParticipantAs usual, such an inspecific question cannot warrant a good answer. You have to explain what sort of box we are talking about here.
Everybody should feel comfortable being who they are. You should not try to be somebody you are not. (Oscar Wilde once said “Be yourself, everybody else is taken”) However, you have to define who you are, and that is where your question begins.
(In other words, you shouldn’t be doing things because others do, and you don’t have the strength of character to stop, you should be doing them because you want to or feel you have to).
What you want to do in regards to in/out the box is obviously dependant on every case on its own merits.
And being out-the-box purely for the reason of not-being-in-the-box – that is ???? ?? ??????, and the rebellious streak that is wron. Being out-the-box because you are isn’t as terrible. (Although “who-you-are” might dictate that you want to be in-the-box, but like I said, we need specific scenarios for that)
October 29, 2014 4:59 pm at 4:59 pm #1051960BTGuyParticipantMost people are in the box. If someone is striving to be out of the box, then they are not really out of the box. I dont think it’s a matter of choice. Out of the boxes should not be harshed by in the boxes, though. Let them be, learn from them, enrich your life by knowing them!
October 29, 2014 5:22 pm at 5:22 pm #1051961ivoryParticipantMany people have no choice and have to stay “in the box” to be part of the society they live in or schools they go to etc. There are many senseless unspoken rules that you have to abide by in certain areas that have nothing with halacha. And don’t say so hon live somewhere else cause its not so easy once you’re rooted somewhere.
October 30, 2014 3:14 am at 3:14 am #1051962RandomexMembereftachbchinor:
“Randomex, I just re-read this. I like your answer. Sorry took so long to respond ;).”
Thanks! Sorry about that last paragraph – I hadn’t yet gotten an
explanation of why you kept posting philosophical questions, and
given recent activities, you might have noticed that a rambling style of speech is typical of trolls. 🙂
Did you see Maru, though? He’s so cute!
P.S. This is the thread where I accidentally discovered
stackable quoting because I forgot the “/” in the closer.
I love being able to clearly quote conversations –
thanks for your role in the discovery.
October 30, 2014 3:58 am at 3:58 am #1051963eftachbchinorMember“Anyway, if you’re bored, leave the CR alone and go watch Maru the cat, or some unboxing videos. Maybe you’ll learn to like boxes! But not as much as Maru :)”
Not bored. I like the coffee room, it keeps me busy. Far more interesting than Maru the cat, and his boxes! Still don’t like them boxes.
November 5, 2014 1:06 am at 1:06 am #1051964BTGuyParticipantUltimately, let’s not worry so much about what the other guy is.
January 16, 2015 3:18 pm at 3:18 pm #1051965WiseyParticipantDepends if you are engaged yet.
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