In/Out of the Box?

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  • #613687

    Should a person strive to be rather in the box, or out of the box? (I know everyone has their own understanding of what ‘in the box’ means. I’m leaving that open to each individual’s interpretation.)

    I, for one, cannot stand boxes of any sort. (except Breadberry’s or Pomegranate’s or Evergreen’s or Chanuka gifts or…Those I like when there’s good stuff inside.) But maybe the desire to break free of any is in itself a box? Whaddya think…?

    #1051942
    ☕️coffee addict
    Participant

    well if its a good box(like talmedei chachamim) i would say yes

    if its a bad box (like new yorkers are snobby) i would say no

    #1051943
    oomis
    Participant

    Strive to be “in the box,” but always consider keeping the mind open to that which is “out of the box.” Not everything in life goes according to the neat little preconceptions that we have in our minds. It is good to be mainstream, but sometimes we have to take a detour, and we need the flexibility to deal with it.

    #1051944

    oomis- Why is it good to be mainstream?

    #1051945
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    Put a small box into the bigger one and come out of that one.

    #1051946

    Good one, HaLeivi. Think I’m gonna try it. Wait- does that mean you want me to be wishy-washy? 🙂 I’m assuming it means to break my preconceived cultural notions and selfishness, while maintaining societal boundaries. Did I chap?

    #1051947
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    An original is more valuable than a copy.

    #1051948
    Letakein Girl
    Participant

    It’s good to be mainstream cuz generally, when a lot of people do something a certain way, there is a valid reason for it.

    #1051949
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    There’s plenty of room to be original before leaving a society, which in turn puts you in the box of like minded individuals. I know plenty of people who in their quest to find originality are exactly like the rest of them.

    I am not made out of my hat. My clothing (for the first couple of months) look like those of my friends, but I don’t think people confuse me for someone else.

    You can be original but if your goal is simply originality that is hardly original.

    #1051950
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    But many things are personal. They may have valid reasons, but those reasons may not apply to everyone.

    #1051951

    True, RebYidd. I agree.

    Letakein Girl- yeah? or are they all following the person in front and walking in circles?

    #1051952
    oyyoyyoy
    Participant

    It’s good to be mainstream cuz generally, when a lot of people do something a certain way, there is a valid reason for it.

    generally yes.

    many times people use “out of the box” as a cover for a feeling of one or more of the following: non acceptance, rebellion, low self esteem and overcompensate, haughtiness/ holier than thou etc.

    Haleivi- i think i mostly agree with you except, “You can be original but if your goal is simply originality that is hardly original.”

    Sometimes a persons originality is stifled by a strong feeling to follow along with everyone else. In such a case he has to actively be original to balance hisself out.

    #1051953
    Letakein Girl
    Participant

    Evatchbechinor,

    Notice that I wrote “generally.”

    In some cases, it is indeed the kind of thing where everyone is playing a game of follow the leader. But the majority of times, society has some logic to the way they do things. To say otherwise is just stupid.

    #1051954
    oomis
    Participant

    Evtach, it’s good to be mainstream, because we have to live within the bounds of society. But please note, I ALSO said, that we have to be flexible, and sometimes that means accepting out of the box thinking, as well. But if we didn’t GENERALLY follow mainstream rules of order, everything would be chaotic.

    Sometimes we also have to accept that not everyone is able to conform ALL the time. But there has to be SOME conformity at least some of the time. We cannot live in a balagan.

    #1051955
    Randomex
    Member

    Should a person strive to be rather in the box, or out of the box?

    Neither. The focus should be on what is necessary, while ensuring that you remain, to a certain extent, “in the box,” because 1) “L’olam y’hei dato shel adam me’urav im habrios” / “Al tifrosh min hatzibbur,” 2) of practical reasons – you don’t want to be

    rejected by your society. But so long as you can get away with something, it’s okay (assuming it’s not something you shouldn’t be trying to get away with).

    I, for one, cannot stand boxes of any sort. […] But maybe the desire to break free of any is in itself a box?

    If you’re influenced by (read as: consume) non-Jewish media,

    that may well be. They’re apparently trying to turn out an entire nation of identical anti-authoritarian individualists.

    Anyway, if you’re bored, leave the CR alone and go watch Maru the cat, or some unboxing videos. Maybe you’ll learn to like boxes! But not as much as Maru 🙂

    #1051956

    Randomex, I just re-read this. I like your answer. Sorry took so long to respond ;).

    #1051957

    Actually, you all had nice things to say. Thanks!

    #1051958
    BarryLS1
    Participant

    Depends on whose box it is. Too many teens go off the derech because the box of acceptability expected of them has gotten so small that many just don’t fit.

    Now, if the “box” is Torah and sensible yiddishkeit, then I’m all for it.

    #1051959
    Chortkov
    Participant

    As usual, such an inspecific question cannot warrant a good answer. You have to explain what sort of box we are talking about here.

    Everybody should feel comfortable being who they are. You should not try to be somebody you are not. (Oscar Wilde once said “Be yourself, everybody else is taken”) However, you have to define who you are, and that is where your question begins.

    (In other words, you shouldn’t be doing things because others do, and you don’t have the strength of character to stop, you should be doing them because you want to or feel you have to).

    What you want to do in regards to in/out the box is obviously dependant on every case on its own merits.

    And being out-the-box purely for the reason of not-being-in-the-box – that is ???? ?? ??????, and the rebellious streak that is wron. Being out-the-box because you are isn’t as terrible. (Although “who-you-are” might dictate that you want to be in-the-box, but like I said, we need specific scenarios for that)

    #1051960
    BTGuy
    Participant

    Most people are in the box. If someone is striving to be out of the box, then they are not really out of the box. I dont think it’s a matter of choice. Out of the boxes should not be harshed by in the boxes, though. Let them be, learn from them, enrich your life by knowing them!

    #1051961
    ivory
    Participant

    Many people have no choice and have to stay “in the box” to be part of the society they live in or schools they go to etc. There are many senseless unspoken rules that you have to abide by in certain areas that have nothing with halacha. And don’t say so hon live somewhere else cause its not so easy once you’re rooted somewhere.

    #1051962
    Randomex
    Member

    eftachbchinor:

    “Randomex, I just re-read this. I like your answer. Sorry took so long to respond ;).”

    Thanks! Sorry about that last paragraph – I hadn’t yet gotten an

    explanation of why you kept posting philosophical questions, and

    given recent activities, you might have noticed that a rambling style of speech is typical of trolls. 🙂

    Did you see Maru, though? He’s so cute!

    P.S. This is the thread where I accidentally discovered

    stackable quoting because I forgot the “/” in the closer.

    I love being able to clearly quote conversations –

    thanks for your role in the discovery.

    #1051963

    “Anyway, if you’re bored, leave the CR alone and go watch Maru the cat, or some unboxing videos. Maybe you’ll learn to like boxes! But not as much as Maru :)”

    Not bored. I like the coffee room, it keeps me busy. Far more interesting than Maru the cat, and his boxes! Still don’t like them boxes.

    #1051964
    BTGuy
    Participant

    Ultimately, let’s not worry so much about what the other guy is.

    #1051965
    Wisey
    Participant

    Depends if you are engaged yet.

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