In honor of Purim, by Popa. Dedicated to OneOfMany

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  • #602189
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    So Purim is approaching, and we all know that Yom Kippur is like Purim, which means that we need to do thinks like yom kippur on purim.

    So, if you recall, the proper thing to do for Yom Kippur, is to make fun of people who don’t keep the torah, to be mekayem ?’ ????? ??? ?????? ?????? ?????. http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/in-honor-of-yom-kippur-by-popa

    So then you have these kookoos, who want that the kalla should give the chosson a ring also, and they davka want that it should be part of a ceremony. So what do they do? They have the kalla give the chosson a ring for the ?????? that they’ll do on the kesuba.

    So I like this idea, and I decided to do more things like this.

    I want that at my wedding, we will also have a symbolic freeing of slaves, like the kings used to do at their weddings. But I want it also to be part of the wedding ceremony, so I can pretend it has religious significance.

    So what will I do?

    I will write a shtar shichrur on the kesuba. And I will marry a shifcha who I will have bought. Then, when I give her the kesuba, she will be free also, and it will be part of the wedding!

    Now, you might wonder, that if I do that, then the kidddushin won’t be chal, because it will be before the kesuba while she is still a shifcha.

    Not to worry. I will marry a half shifcha, half bas chorin. And according to the opinions that that is what the passuk is talking about ???? ???? ????? ????.

    Now, you might wonder, that it is hard to find all these half shifchas half bas chorins. So how will all the YCT people adopt this?

    The answer is simple. Anyone who would want to do this is probably a ????. And a mamzer is allowed to marry a shifcha, according to the mishna of ?????? ?????? ??????! Simple, and beautiful!

    Mazel Tov!

    #853743
    BTGuy
    Participant

    Hi PBA.

    What did you put in your coffee today?

    : )

    #853744
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    In case you missed it, I owed OneOfMany a troll thread, from here http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/psats-and-sats#post-356516

    #853745
    big deal
    Participant

    While you’re at it, would you please add to the royal decree to annul all marriages that haven’t worked out thereby effectively freeing all agunos?

    🙂

    #853746
    ED IT OR
    Participant

    take away the cherem derabeinu gershom!

    and declare bankruptcy!

    #853747
    OneOfMany
    Participant

    I think you killed some of my highly esteemed brain cells. Good work.

    #853750
    BaalHabooze
    Participant

    I would be honored to ‘rehd’ you a shidduch, popa, with this nice mamzeres/shifcha girl that lives right next door to me. She is a very pretty girl, if y’ know ignore all those nasty warts of course, but enough about her physical appearance.

    You probably want to know her pnimius. Well, she’s very frum, tzniusdig, LOOOOVES shmaltz-herring with practically ANYTHING, (so she doesn’t need ANY perfumes) ..uh, let’s see what else…oh, yeah, she’s clean shaven, after her accident she doesn’t need to worry about brushin’ the ‘ol teeth-stuff anymore, hehe. Absolutely ADORES your posts and would be honored to marry somebody of your ilk. let me know if you are interested in this one-of-a-kind machsheifa…er…shifcha

    #853751
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I also loooooove shmaltz herring. But I don’t have any for this week. 🙁

    #853752
    BaalHabooze
    Participant

    did I mention her shmaltz-herring gemach?

    #853753
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I hate gemachs. When I was dating, I used to nix all the resumes that talked about how much chessed they do. I wanted someone like me.

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