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Tell me a story.
Okay, here’s a story. Once there was a family from out of town that drove East to visit some people in that part of the United States. They were far enough away from “the city” to see lower priced big houses, but close enough to “the city” to have to pay a lot of money in tolls and stuff. The kids started drooling over the big houses and the father started drooling over the low gas prices. The mother shook her head sadly and said, “I could never live here. Not after all the horrible things I heard about this place in the CR”. So they stopped off for a months supply of drakes cakes and headed for home.
Reporting from somewhere on Hwy 80
You don’t have Drake’s out west? Holy moly how do you live?? What about Entenmann’s??
oom – it’s so not the same. my brother does send it in with messengers whenever possible.
Okay, here’s a real story about unicorns and puppies. This is a true story. Once there was a Unicorn who lived in the tri-state area (or whatever). He was a beautiful animal and everyone loved him dearly. One day a puppy wanted to be redt to this unicorn but she knew he was too perfect and would never agree to go out with her. She looked like a dog, after all. So her father hired some poachers to bag the unicorn one day on his way home from testing colonge samples at Macy’s. They tied him up and brought him to a back alley where two thugs etched nivel peh into the surface of his unicorn. The unicorn was beside himself with pain over his destroyed image but now that he was damaged goods he was willing to go out with the puppy, who never told him her father was the cause of all his heart ache because she truly believed that it was a mitzvaas asei to do that to someone since it helped them to not be so gaavehdik. And they lived happily ever after.
moski – you had me rolling, why’d you take it down?
First I want to know why you didn’t answer my question.
It is very hard to tell horror stories like that in this forum. I can tell you about a man who used to sit in shul and talk about all the things Obama did to ruin our country and how people were so sick of listening to him that they had to volunteer him to be the Shaliach tsibur for every tefillah. The problem is that no matter how make believe the story is, I have no doubt you will actually know people in real life who do that very thing.
Except for one guy who talked about politics all day and he was so full of hot air that when the furnace broke they actually had him stand in the back of the shul and blab just to keep the mispallelim warm.
In regard to my true story being true, it IS true. I just changed some of the details to protect the identity of the characters.
lol
Now I’m bored….
Tell me a joke
Here’s a really funny joke. Once there were a bunch of posters who thought they were so hilarious that they couldn’t get enough of themselves. Talking in the mirror wasn’t enough for them and their friends have stopped answering their calls so they needed somewhere else to share their wit and wisdom. They found the CR and posted day and night. They imagined people rolling on the floor laughing at everything that came out of their keyboards. The punchline is that there are really no people reading their posts, the CR is really randomly generated computer posts! HAHAHAHAHAHA
do you ever win?
OMG Moski! I wanted to know what you look like so I looked in the mirror like you said and I was so shocked! I thought you were a guy, not an old lady. And I have the same tichel as you besides!
I also did, I thought it would be a he…..by the way your clothes are very cute.. they look familiar, where did you get them?
Whoa, whoa, whoa….Syag Lchochma, is a girl!??? *jaw drops to floor*
@moskidoodle: You are bored? I have dishes in the sink that need to be washed….and this is NOT a story…
So what I got was an old lady wearing tichel, with very cute clothes that are a little too young for her, with glasses and whom occasionally finds a cocaroach in her bathroom, which freaks her out and whom is currently looking for her jaw…..is that right?
moskidoodle – MJ had your same dilemma: I’m starting with the man in the mirror. I’m asking him to change his ways….
Boruch She’kivanta
Curiosity – Funny thing, my husband had the same response.
Lol you must have a really awesome marriage then, if your husband originally hung out with you without even knowing you were a girl. I hope my future will be fun to hang out with 🙂
Curiosity, I’m curious – what on earth made you think oomis and Syag were guys? 😛
Awesome indeed. Til he figured it out I was just “one of the guys”
OOM, in general I would reply with the rule of the internet #16: “There are no girls on the internet.”
But frum websites are likely exceptions. I guess I’m just used to the nonfrum derech hatevah of the intrnet.
bump
evidently :). Are you trying to fill the cr page with your sn???
Tell me a story about seminary girls in shidduchim…
🙂 it”H thfey. should all find the right zivug, in the right time, it should be soon.
Once upon a time there were two seminary girls in shidduchim. One was riding a bus when an old sephardic women told her that she truly believed that her destined one was a short man waiting third in line at the corner makolet. The old women said she knew this was true because today is Wednesday and she is always close to Hashem on Wednesdays. The girl could not believe the hasgocho that she normally never takes this bus and when she does she never talks to sephardic women but today she broke that pattern and ended up sitting next to her so there was no way in the world that it could be coincidence. She decided to get off at the next stop and tell the man she was seriously considering his inevitable proposal but felt she first should eat a few pieces of pizza and then meet with her Eim Bayit and her michaneches.
The other girls was redt a date by a shadchan but felt that he wasn’t spiritual enough for her because his shoes looked worn out and that meant he was obviously not spending enough time sitting at his shtender.
Would you like a (very bad) story about penguins?
you mean black hatters? Why would I like that kind of story… I guess
OOH OOH I love penguins!
No I mean penguins — the animal. Okay it’s coming, I have to type it up.
k
(sorry for the odd penguin names – if you think of better ones let me know)
Pingi the penguin lives in an igloo in Penguinland (query – do penguins live in Arctic or Antarctica?) with it’s mother and father – Pingli (mother) and Pengo (father).
One morning, Pingi was very bored.
She went into the garden where her father was fishing (for their Purim Seuda) and said “Daddy, I’m bored.”. Pengo answered “Sorry Pingi, I’m busy right now.”
Next, Pingi went into the kitchen, where her mother was baking Hamantashen (also for their Purim Seuda).
“Mummy, I’m bored, (pause) would you like me to test one of those Hamantashen for you? You wouldn’t want all those guests to eat them and find out that they are not nice would you? Just to make sure, I had better try one.” (nice try Pingi, do you really think that will work?)
“Pingi, I am saving these for our Purim Seuda! Why don’t you play with your best friend Panga?”
Dissapointed, Pingi called her best friend Panga, “Panga do you want to come over and play?”
“Sorry Pingi, I am cleaning my room today.”
Pingi went back to the kitchen “Mummy, Panga is busy. I’m booooored”
Pingli opened the curtains, planning to ignore Pingi’s wails and comment on what a nice day it was, but just as she opened the curtains, it began to rain very very hard. Out the window, they saw their neighbour, Pingola, standing outside in the rain. She looked very worried.
“What’s wrong Pingola?” Pingi asked, going outside to her neighbour.
“My husband has gone out, and he forgot to bring home the boxes of fish he caught yesterday for our Purim Seuda (seems like they all eat fish at their Purim Seuda’s). He will be back tonight, but I need them by this eveing to cook them, and it takes a long time to carry them over. I couldn’t possibly carry them all by myself. I don’t know what to do.”
“I’ll help, where are they? “
“Over the other side of that mountain.”
When they got to the spot that the boxes were located, Pingi was surprised at the amount of boxes that there were (maybe he was wondering how they would possibly eat all that fish by Pesach). She wasn’t sure, at first, how they would possibly transport them all in one day, but as they began the task, she saw that although it was a long job, they had the whole day, and they should be able to finish by the evening.
As they put down the last box in Pingi’s shed, the sun was setting. “Thank you so much for your help.” Pingola said again and again.
“I must go now.” was Pingi’s hasty reply.
That evening, as Pingi thought about how bored she had been in the morning, she was glad she had been able to spend her day helping her neighbour.
:)))
Wow. I’m speechless with wonder. Masterful work!!! i enjoyed 😀 including the moral 😀 Can i use this for a babysitting story? or is it copyrighted?
😀
Sure you can. Glad you liked it 😀
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