Home › Forums › Shidduchim › If you've read "NASI Project Responds", have you changed your mind?
- This topic has 577 replies, 79 voices, and was last updated 12 years, 10 months ago by Medium Size Shadchan.
-
AuthorPosts
-
November 15, 2011 3:54 am at 3:54 am #847924passfanMember
DaasYochid: What alerted you and how did you become aware of this age-gap cause over a decade ago? Was it a new chiddush at the time (to anyone – not you) and was anything done or was it just talk then?
November 15, 2011 4:22 am at 4:22 am #847925☕ DaasYochid ☕Participantpassfan, What alerted you and how did you become aware of this age-gap cause over a decade ago?
A conversation with a brilliant talmid chacham. Until then, I had heard all (or at least most) of the theories bandied about in coffee rooms (real and virtual) everywhere; girls being too picky, boys asking too much money, “it’s much easier to be a good girl than a good boy”, etc. But I had one big “kasha” on the whole thing; why are there more girls around than boys – every time a boy manages to overcome these difficulties and gets married, he takes a girl with him! When he explained the age-gap/increasing population formula to me, a light went on in my head.
Was it a new chiddush at the time (to anyone – not you)
Not to him! 🙂
was anything done or was it just talk then?
Just talk, then. IIRC, NASI was a few years later.
November 16, 2011 1:44 pm at 1:44 pm #847926AZParticipantA few adjusments have been made to the progarm. The following apprears in various newspapers today as a full page ad.
From NASI:
Ground Breaking Shidduch Program
Based on quality feedback we have made the following adjustments to the program. All other rules are intact.
If the young woman is age
22/23-$4,000 (previously 5/6k)
24/25- $5,000 (previously 7/8k)
26/27- $7,000 (previously 9/10k)
28/29- $8,000 (previously 11/12k)
30/31- $9,000 (previously 13/14k)
32 AND OLDER-$10,000
The two goals of the program are:
B. To bring as much attention as possible to the young women who have been dating more than 7 years, thus affording them every opportunity to find their zivug.
Young women on the list will be given the contact information of all the shadchanim receiving the list.
How does one get on the list?
A young woman (or her family) will send in the exact amount of shadchanus money- plus $500 to cover the costs of running the project. e.g. for a 23 year old $4,500. If a young woman has a birthday within 12 months of joining that puts her into the next bracket she need not send in more money until the following birthday.
Every dollar sent in is GUARANTEED.
Any time she wants it back she will get it back-including the $500. It will only be spent if/when a young woman gets married. To join the list or for more information
Please note: In the event of a completed shidduch, the boys side is obligated al pi halacha to pay their own standard shadchanus regardless of whether a young women is on the list or not.
The program is part of the NASI Project and is under the direct supervision of the Roshei Yeshiva and Rabbonim who are guiding the NASI Project
November 16, 2011 4:54 pm at 4:54 pm #847927☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantAny family with more than two young women to enroll in the program needs to only put in the dollar amount to cover two of them and they can enroll all the sisters.
Why is it not sufficient to keep one sum in escrow (the higher amount if the sisters are in different brackets)?
November 16, 2011 5:46 pm at 5:46 pm #847928Raphael KaufmanMemberI recently read the NASI response in Hamodia. It strikes me that however sincere the person behind NASI is, (about which more later) his basic concept appears to be flawed in that it presumes that shadchanim need to be incentivized to concentrate on finding matches for older girls. My own experience with shadchanus and various shidduch organizations is that these folks already work very hard on older girls and that simply throwing money at them will not have any bearing on the main issue which is that 23-24 year old bachurim want to marry 19-20 year old girls, and the 19-20 year old girls want to get married.
It would make more sense to pay the bonuses directly to the bachurim to marry older girls or to the girls themselves if they refrain from entering the shidduch “market” until they’re 24.
previous posters have pointed out that the withholding of the name or names of the rabbinic supervisor(s) and the hazy accounting methods seem suspicious. The NASI response does nothing to allay those suspicions and, in fact, makes them more suspect than ever. For instance, the response claims that the reason for withholding the name of the rabbinic supervisor is that he and other roshei yeshiva are working on a “secret plan” to end the shidduch crisis and that it will be revealed at the appropriate time. PULEEEZE! “Secret plan”? who is this guy, Richard Nixon? I’m sorry, but the tone and substance of the NASI reply gives the impression that it was written by a crook, and a not-very-smart crook at that.
November 16, 2011 6:12 pm at 6:12 pm #847929AZParticipantDY:
Becuase it’s possible that two sisters will get engaged/married at around the same time. Unlikely that three sisters would get engaged/married at the same time.
November 16, 2011 7:32 pm at 7:32 pm #847930☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantRaphael Kaufman, It would make more sense to pay the bonuses directly to the bachurim to marry older girls
Read the posts in this and other threads on this topic; you’ll find much outrage about associating money with shidduchim. That outrage would be nothing compared to the outrage which would be felt and expressed if the boys were supposed to be the ones getting the money!
or to the girls themselves if they refrain from entering the shidduch “market” until they’re 24.
1) No girl in her right mind would do that.
2) It’s unenforceable; how does any girl who is not married by 24 prove that she wasn’t on the “market”?
3) Who would pay them?
As far as NASI looking like a scam, I admire your courage for expressing that opinion in a public forum. You risk looking very foolish if they release the finished plan and it’s transparent, and overseen by well known and trusted individuals.
November 16, 2011 7:50 pm at 7:50 pm #847931apushatayidParticipant“If a young woman has a birthday within 12 months of joining”
Is it possible not to?
November 16, 2011 7:51 pm at 7:51 pm #847932☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantAZ,
Was this point approved by the Roshei Hayeshiva? It seems overkill to me; you could simply take the second one off the list as soon as the first gets engaged. There’s really nothing preventing the parents from asking for their money back as soon as a shidduch seems serious (unless there’s a condition which I haven’t noticed publicized), so you’re kind of going with the honor system anyhow. You’ve publicly acknowledged the difficulty some might have coming up with such large sums and, to your great credit, reduced the amounts based on the feedback. This would be another way of making the program more attainable for some.
November 16, 2011 8:07 pm at 8:07 pm #847933apushatayidParticipant“Young women on the list will be given the contact information of all the shadchanim receiving the list.”
These shadchanim, how do they view the money held by NASI? Will they be asking their usual “fee” and view the NASI money as a bonus? Will they forgo their normal fee and accept whatever is being held by NASI as shadchanus? Will there be some formal agreement signed by NASI, Shadchanim who are part of the program and the singles (and/or their parents) spelling out the obligations of NASI, the shadchanim and the participating singles?
November 17, 2011 12:02 am at 12:02 am #847934AZParticipantDY: Yes.
(FYI- there is a 45 day delay period from when a young woman reqeusts her money back to when she will receive it back. This is precisly to prevent the abuse they you alluded to. There is no need to publish in the papers as this information is provided to each and every young woman who approaches NASI for more information and/or to join the program. But since you asked…..)
APY: Every young women and Shadchan joining the program will be signing contracts (as will NASI) drafted by expert lawyers and reveiwed by dayanim to makes sure they are air tight. This program is dealing with serious amounts of money and every precaution will be taken.
The program will not be active (i.e. money accepted from the young women and list released to shadchanim) until this takes place.
This money IS the young woman’s shadchanus money.
November 17, 2011 12:23 am at 12:23 am #847935☕ DaasYochid ☕Participantapushatayid, “If a young woman has a birthday within 12 months of joining”
Is it possible not to?
If it’s an leap year.
Seriously, I’m sure he meant a birthday putting her in the next bracket (if you knew that and were joking, please forgive me).
Will they be asking their usual “fee” and view the NASI money as a bonus?
NASI said, “Please note: In the event of a completed shidduch, the boys side is obligated al pi halacha to pay their own standard shadchanus regardless of whether a young women is on the list or not. “
It is apparent that the girls side does not have to pay any more shadchanus; the money you call “NASI money” is actually the money of the girl or her parents, held in escrow by NASI as the shadchanus money.
November 17, 2011 12:45 am at 12:45 am #847936Raphael KaufmanMemberDas Yachid, my suggestion that the boys and girls be paid directly was offered semi facetiously. The point was that throwing money a shadchanim was both unnecessary and was missing the real issue.
As far as it being a scam, please note the qualifiers that I used, “seems to be” “appears to be”, etc. NASI may very well turn out to be honest and sincere, albeit ill conceived and misdirected. In which case I will have been simply mistaken. Unfortunately, as I pointed out in my previous post, NASI did not help it’s own cause with their written response.
November 17, 2011 1:43 am at 1:43 am #847937passfanMemberAZ:
If a girl in the new NASI program gets engaged through a shadchan that did not participate in the NASI program, will she get her money back or will it go to the person who made the shidduch (even though he wasn’t part of the program and signed no contract)?
November 17, 2011 1:43 am at 1:43 am #847938apushatayidParticipantThe money held in escrow by NASI is the shadchanus from the girls side.
Were shadchanim wary of spening time setting up an older girl and not getting what they felt was their due compensation for their time and efforts, so that now NASI is telling them, go for it, the shadchanus is guaranteed? Only girls who pay in money are on “the list” so shadchanim now know where they won’t get stiffed. Forgive me for saying this, sounds like this is an initiative to ensure shadchanim get paid, not to facilitate shidduchim. If this was an initiative to facilitate shidduchim, the 500 administrative fee should be enough for inclusion on “the list”. Being on the list it seems comes with no other guarantees, not even a call from a shadchan.
November 17, 2011 6:59 am at 6:59 am #847939☕ DaasYochid ☕Participantapushatayid, sounds like this is an initiative to ensure shadchanim get paid, not to facilitate shidduchim
The former would support, not be exclusive of, the latter.
November 17, 2011 7:05 am at 7:05 am #847940☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantRaphael Kaufman, Das Yachid, my suggestion that the boys and girls be paid directly was offered semi facetiously. The point was that throwing money a shadchanim was both unnecessary and was missing the real issue.
Of course it was, and my rebuttal was to clarify that it is “necessary” (or at least should help – certainly not enough is being done without the extra incentive). And age gap *is* the real issue.
November 17, 2011 6:44 pm at 6:44 pm #847941apushatayidParticipantDY: Regarding the comment about birthday, yes it was meant as a joke. Probably the wrong place to joke. The topic, as divisive as it might be, is a serious one. My comment about ensuring shadchanim get paid, was not meant to imply they should not. Rather, the point I wanted to convey is that this particular initiative looks to be more of one to ensure shadchanim get paid than one of setting up older singles. Yes, assurances that they wont be stiffed might encourage shadchanim to work on such shidduchim, but that is not what NASI is saying, or how they are promoting this game changing plan.
PBA/Passfan. We will have to agree to disagree with how we look at the math and its causes. I will continue to do the things I do, and you continue to do the things you do and we should both be matzliach, along with NASI and all other initiatives out there, in helping those who want to get married under, the chuppah as quickly and painlessly as possible.
November 17, 2011 8:16 pm at 8:16 pm #847942☕ DaasYochid ☕Participantapushatayid, Yes, assurances that they wont be stiffed might encourage shadchanim to work on such shidduchim, but that is not what NASI is saying, or how they are promoting this game changing plan.
I think it’s a matter of perspective. The main thrust here is to motivate shadchanim to work with older girls by having the girls or their parents offer higher shadchanus, and the escrow feature is a measure to ensure that there’s no manipulation and false promises by desperate people.
November 30, 2011 2:57 am at 2:57 am #847943hanabMemberHere are some facts I’d like to see:
1. No. of males taken out of the shidduch pool because they are OTD, social misfits, not marriageable material
2. No. of females ditto
3. No. of male baalei tshuva in shidduch pool
4. No. of females, ditto
5. Geirim
6. Females ditto (not sure of correct dikduk – misgayeros?)
I think we would find that because women are naturally more spiritual, the number of women being added to the pool is greater than the number of men, and conversely (also related to higher male rates of autism spectrum, social skills issues. For OTD there can be many other factors.
In any case, the above factors must be contributing to the disparity to some extent. So, if you are wondering where to put your tzedakah dollars, perhaps organizations dealing with keeping boys on the derech, and improving their marriageability, would be more productive!
December 7, 2011 3:07 am at 3:07 am #847944AZParticipantas promised. What you’ve been waiting for…
From NASI
UPDATE ON THE
GROUND BREAKING SHIDDUCH PROJECT
The following is an overview of the security procedures and oversight being instituted by the NASI shidduch project:
1. The firm Hirsch, Oelbaum, Bram, Hanover, & Lisker has been retained to set up accounting security procedures as well to provide ongoing oversight, audit and prepare year end statements. Their reports will be of public record and available upon request.
2. All monies received will be deposited into an account named NASI Shadchan fund (this will be verifiable by each participant).
3. Withdrawals from the fund will require two signatures, one from a list of administrative personnel, Group A, and one from Group B, which consists of a few well known Roshei Yeshiva.
4. A contract outlining the rights and obligations of the parties has been drafted by a lawyer and reviewed by dayanim. This contract will be signed by both NASI and the participant.
In addition a contract outlining the relationship between NASI and participating shadchanim has been drafted and will be signed by both NASI and the participating shadchan.
5. The following language (or its equivalent) will appear in the contract between NASI and each individual participant:
Withdrawals from NASI Shadchan fund will be permitted only for the following purposes:
A. To pass money along to a shadchan after the wedding in the event of a completed shidduch .
B. To pass along $500 administrative fee to NASI after the wedding in event of completed shidduch.
C. To return monies to a participant upon their request.
D. Any withdrawals for any other purpose will be considered willful misconduct on the part of NASI.
6. Participants will be afforded the opportunity to send copies of their signed contracts and cancelled checks directly to the firm of Hirsch Oelbaum thus ensuring that all monies sent to NASI are accounted for.
December 7, 2011 3:28 am at 3:28 am #847945IsometimesAgreeParticipantCongratulations to NASI for taking the steps needed to reassure many of the frum community!!
Hatzlocha Rabba!!
December 7, 2011 3:35 am at 3:35 am #847946AZOI.ISParticipantHow many girls have signed up? Is the public allowed to know in order to decide whether to join?
December 7, 2011 3:58 am at 3:58 am #847947squeakParticipantI guess this shows that even NASI is willing to bear some accountability, if the public is going to insist on it. Thanks goodness people insisted on it.
Now if only we could insist on some common sense, or at least valid data backing their theories. Do you think if we insisted enough, we could get that too?
December 7, 2011 12:51 pm at 12:51 pm #847948AZParticipantSqueak:
How about giving credit where it’s due. They stated PUBLICLY when this specific program was launched that this was their intention and for this reason they did not not allow any of the interested participants to send in money until the system was set up.
It’s not a situation that “even NASI”……
AZO.is: maybe try contacting them and asking them. That’s a novel idea.
I’m curious, would you be more interested if more girls had signed up or if less girls.
Another question you might want to ask is how many shadchanim registered. That’s probably far more important to the individual girl than how many other girls have signed up.
December 7, 2011 1:34 pm at 1:34 pm #847949emanParticipantThis still does not answer the question asked by the shadchanim, who were promised a fee back in 2008, which has not been paid. They owe a lot of money to a lot of people.
December 7, 2011 1:42 pm at 1:42 pm #847950squeakParticipantAZ- it’s obvious that history in general depends on who is doing the telling. Perhaps that is how you perceive things, and as an insider you are able to know if that is the truth or not. But from the outside, that is not how things went. NASI shocked the velt with their outlandish proposal and then met with an outcry over a number of things. One was the complete lack of accountability- down to having no names associated- and thank goodness people did not let themselves get steamrolled by NASI on that aspect.
December 7, 2011 1:58 pm at 1:58 pm #847951squeakParticipantI’d like to follow up on my last post about outlandish claims and steamrolling the public into submission. That has been NASI’s modus operandi from the get go. My arguments with them are not personal but based on their tactics. I have no direct connection to the shidduch parsha.
From the beginning NASI has been taking leaves out of the playbook called yellow journalism. By making sensational proclamations in the loudest manner possible, NASI has garnered a cult like support not unlike that of a tabloid newspaper. I realize that its possible NASI does not realize that this is what they do and have done, but it is high time that they do realize.
The entire basis of NASI and their subsequent manipulation is the so called age gap theory. While anyone would admit that the idea has “seichel appeal” that is not enough to justify their agendas. In fact, not a shred of real evidence can back the simplistic theory, as I have been yelling from the rooftops since day one. The only attempt to offer proof was the Avi Chai study, which did not hold up to scrutiny.
I hope the public will stop allowing itself to be steamrolled by NASI going forward. We have the right to not be manipulated unfairly.
December 7, 2011 3:00 pm at 3:00 pm #847952☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantThis still does not answer the question asked by the shadchanim, who were promised a fee back in 2008, which has not been paid.
Nor does it answer the question about the price of tea in China.
The question about the fee from 2008 was addressed elsewhere.
They owe a lot of money to a lot of people.
Before you make claims that anyone owes money to anyone, go over the contract and speak to an expert in Choshen Mishpat.
December 7, 2011 3:02 pm at 3:02 pm #847953☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantAZ- it’s obvious that history in general depends on who is doing the telling. Perhaps that is how you perceive things, and as an insider you are able to know if that is the truth or not. But from the outside, that is not how things went. NASI shocked the velt with their outlandish proposal and then met with an outcry over a number of things. One was the complete lack of accountability- down to having no names associated- and thank goodness people did not let themselves get steamrolled by NASI on that aspect.
You’re misrepresenting the facts. NASI never took money before accountability was transparent, and they said they would do it this way before there was any “outcry”.
December 7, 2011 3:09 pm at 3:09 pm #847954rcParticipantOK i sort of agree,,,, but the problem is this: MOTHERS OF ALL GIRLS are DESPERATE>>> its not an age thing, its not a close the gap thing, its not a we have no money thing, its not a my daughter is not a size 2 thing. yes those are problems, but NOW everyone is having difficulties getting a yes from anyone under any circumstances. I am opposed to NASI in every regard, but out of desperation I will probably sign my daughter up, not because she needs “more attention: from the shadchanim,but because she needs a YES from anyone!!and I assume, that if i throw 11K the shadchan’s way, she may just be able to come up with a yes. ITs a terrible thing that it has come to this , but that is the reality . again my advice to fix the problem is for the Roshei Yehsiva/Gedolim TO COME FORTH AND MOBILIZE< and in whatever way they can, facilitate the process of getting a yes. that may come in many forms, but one real simple way to start is to stress the importance to the klal and mothers of boys in general to get back to shadchanim in a reasonable amount of time.
December 7, 2011 3:19 pm at 3:19 pm #847955☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantWhile anyone would admit that the idea has “seichel appeal”
It’s much more than that; anyone who doesn’t “believe” in the age gap “theory” simply doesn’t have a good head for math. (I was going to say “has no seichel”, but then I decided that’s too harsh.)
December 7, 2011 5:01 pm at 5:01 pm #847956AZParticipantrc:
the pain you feel as a mother of a single girl is evident. However, you state that “but NOW everyone is having difficulties getting a yes from anyone under any circumstances.”
even you must admit that can’t be accurate. surely boys have dates and are getting married to girls.
I think if you understood the age gap concept a bit better and how it affects the dating scene, you would feel a bit more comfortable with the activities of the NASI Project.
Are Mothers of girls desperate – many certainly are.
Is NASI taking advantage- most certainly not.
NASI themselves aren’t even shadchanim and there is no such thing as “NASI Shadchanim”. (unless anyone from the public who joins their projects is called a nasi shadchan???)
In fact, the ongoing and hopefully continued success of their varied efforts will alleviate the problem substantially and thus ease the desperation of the mothers.
December 7, 2011 6:55 pm at 6:55 pm #847957charlie brownMembersqueak, the steamrolling may still be going on!
3. Withdrawals from the fund will require two signatures, one from a list of administrative personnel, Group A, and one from Group B, which consists of a few well known Roshei Yeshiva.
people are supposed to entrust money into the hands of a few “well known Roshei Yeshiva” without knowing who they are? I thought this thing was supposed to be transparent?
5. The following language (or its equivalent) will appear in the contract between NASI and each individual participant:
Withdrawals from NASI Shadchan fund will be permitted only for the following purposes:
A. To pass money along to a shadchan after the wedding in the event of a completed shidduch .
B. To pass along $500 administrative fee to NASI after the wedding in event of completed shidduch.
who decides if NASI facilititated the shidduch or not?
Example 1: Supposing a girl had already been working with a shadchan prior to signing up for NASI and that shadchan subsequently redd her a shidduch and she gets married. Does NASI get to keep the $500 for doing nothing in this case and is the shadchan entitled to the fee?
Example 2: A girl signs up for NASI and then someone who is not a NASI registered shadchan sets her up with someone and she gets married. A NASI registered shadchan, drooling over that cash, claims he redt the shidduch. What stops NASI from siding with him so they can pocket the $500? Oh, right! An unnamed well known rosh yeshiva will stop them!
December 7, 2011 8:12 pm at 8:12 pm #847958charlie brownMemberHow many girls have signed up? Is the public allowed to know in order to decide whether to join?
–AZOI.IS
AZO.is: maybe try contacting them and asking them. That’s a novel idea.
–AZ
nice! ridicule someone for asking an inconvenient question instead of just answering it! (There is btw, a very valid reason for one to ask the question – the first 500 are supposedly free, someone may want to know if those 500 slots are used up already.)
December 7, 2011 8:26 pm at 8:26 pm #847959☕ DaasYochid ☕Participantcharlie brown,
Wow, you’re really cynical.
Example 1:
If the shidduch was read after the girl was registered, wouldn’t the shadchan be entitled to the money?
Example 2;
You’re really stretching things to assume that it’s unprovable who the real shadchan was.
Besides, the way the system operates is that the shadchan doesn’t get the money until after the chasunah. I can guarantee that the money will be requested in return before then.
December 7, 2011 9:37 pm at 9:37 pm #847960AZParticipantCharlie Brown
There are detailed contracts signed by all participants (girls) and shadchanim. There is also be a dispute resolustion clause to deal with any potential issues that come up and the outside arbitrators are well known poskim who are NOT signers of the checks.
Your example 1:
Dealt with in the contract
your example 2:
Dealt with in the contract.
It is the first 50 slots who woudn’t pay and any girl who contacts the program is informed as to where she stands and if she is part of the first 50.
anything else bothering you. ANY and ALL questions are valid, just some belong in different forums.
December 7, 2011 9:40 pm at 9:40 pm #847961charlie brownMemberDaasYochid,
I agree I’m being cynical. When an anonymous organization, supposedly standing behind anonymous roshei yeshiva, expects people to trust them with thousands of dollars, it invites cynicism. And if it can’t stand up to scrutiny then something definitely seems rotten.
With all the promises of transparency, the best they can say is that a known rosh yeshiva will authorize all payments? Why no names?
People here have mentioned being stiffed in the past by NASI. The response has basically been that they didn’t read the fine print. Now that people are reading the fine print and asking questions, they are being ridiculed and called cynics!
In Example 1, I was mainly questioning whether NASI is entitled to the money. (Although I think its fair to ask if the shadchan should be getting the big bucks rather than normal shadchanus).
In example 2, I didn’t say its unprovable. But being provable won’t help if you signed on the dotted line that the anonymous NASI organization and an unnamed rosh yeshiva decide if they get the money or not.
December 7, 2011 9:45 pm at 9:45 pm #847962charlie brownMemberAZ,
I’m glad these issues are addressed in the contracts. I would just urge anyone and everyone to bring a lawyer along to read all the fine print before handing over a check. And to find out who the signing roshei yeshiva are and who the arbitrating dayanim are. Are the names of these 2 groups of rabbonim given to girls before a check is given to NASI? Are the names in the contract?
December 7, 2011 10:29 pm at 10:29 pm #847963apushatayidParticipant“even you must admit that can’t be accurate. surely boys have dates and are getting married to girls.”
Which also means girls are getting dates. I think what she really means is that boys have the upper hand, a list of 47 girls to choose from at any given time, while these 47 girls languish on any number of boys lists waiting for them to say “yes”. Perhaps flip the tables and redt shidduchim to girls first and if still no yes from a guy, despite a yes from the girl, there is more going on than just “not enough bodies to go around”.
December 8, 2011 12:19 am at 12:19 am #847964popa_bar_abbaParticipantI love having someone to be angry at when something bad happens. That is why NASI is so great.
Thanks NASI!
December 8, 2011 12:37 am at 12:37 am #847965midwesternerParticipantFar more ill will was engendered by the attitude of the girls being for sale. The questions about transparency on the mamonus were minor compared to the bizyonos of the maidelach. Now they’re attempting to answer the financial issues, and pretending that the other questions didn’t exist.
Someone asked how many girls signed up. AZ responded “Another question you might want to ask is how many shadchanim registered. That’s probably far more important to the individual girl than how many other girls have signed up.” Let’s see. Nowadays a shadchan get how much from the kalla’s side? $1000? $1500? Sign up with NASI, and you get a sliding scale that starts at 4-5K. Who’s not gonna sign up?
December 8, 2011 1:11 am at 1:11 am #847966TROLL – BLOCKEDMemberAZ: Since you are opening up the the floor to any and all questions, i do have a question for you. Now, probably you will just skip over my question and answer one that you want to, but if you do,you show that you cant really back this whole thing up!
(Hopefully that dig will be enough to get you to finally respond to this numerously asked question but, hey, you never know!)
THE QUESTION: WHO ARE THE “few well known Roshei Yeshiva”????
THIS QUESTION HAS BEEN ASKED MANY TIMES BY VARIOUS POSTERS BUT YOU SOMEHOW ALWAYS SEEM TO MISS IT!!
HOPEFULLY YOU WONT MISS THIS ONE!!
December 8, 2011 1:59 am at 1:59 am #847967squeakParticipantDaasYochid
Member
You’re misrepresenting the facts. NASI never took money before accountability was transparent, and they said they would do it this way before there was any “outcry”.
That’s not a very polite way to interject yourself into a conversation. It’s also quite inaccurate. NASI has indeed taken money without offering any accountability in the past, and there was every reason to think that they were planning to do the same with this initiative. Second, they most certainly did NOT make a single mention of accountability before the negative response to their ad.
December 8, 2011 2:08 am at 2:08 am #847968squeakParticipantDaasYochid
Member
It’s much more than that; anyone who doesn’t “believe” in the age gap “theory” simply doesn’t have a good head for math. (I was going to say “has no seichel”, but then I decided that’s too harsh.)
This is very far off the mark. Firstly, the only math involved is squaring or cubing 1.035. Obviously even an elementary school child with a calculator can manage to do that. The point you are missing is that those mathematics have not been shown to be relevant to the situation at hand. Can I be any clearer?
A famous quote, that I unfortunately do not know to whom to attribute it, applies in this situation. There are 3 levels to understanding something. The first one is that of a simpleton, whose mind catches onto some logical connection and believes he understands the issue. The second level belongs to a deep thinker, who continues to study the problem until he realizes that there is so much he has not considered- and discovers that he in fact does not understand the issue. The third level belongs to the researcher, who continues to struggle with the issue until he covers all the bases and reaches actual understanding.
You my friend, are hopelessly stuck on the first level of understanding. Math has virtually nothing to do with the validity of the age gap theory, and it certainly has nothing to do with the moral issues surrounding manipulation.
December 8, 2011 3:01 am at 3:01 am #847969AZParticipantCB: Arbitrators are in the contract, signers will be available to any of the girls who ask.
CB: perhaps you failed to read the item 1. of the earlier post that a well known respected and reputable firm is putting their name behind the audit and security of the money and making the books available. I would think that that should be a fairly good way to assuage any questions wouldn’t you? I actually think that’s even better then putting name(s) of R”Y on letterhead who in all likelyhood in most organizations don’t analyze and review every check written and every deposit made.
CB: I think NASI would also urge eveyone who considers joining to read everything clearly and make sure they are 100% comfortable with the way things are being run.
Midwest: What i wrote was that if a individual was researching whether to join or not, i would think that the prudent question to ask is how many shadchanim have joined, not how many girls. If anything, the more girls the “worse” it is for a individual girl, whereas the more shadchanim the better it is.
December 8, 2011 3:04 am at 3:04 am #847970AZParticipantIn today’s Yated:
Dear Editor:
The subject matter of this letter is the nasi shidduch program, but that is not what this letter is really about. Rather I would like to comment about how we interact in discourse and criticism.
I do not know whether nasi will succeed or not. But I do believe that I now know that nasi is a serious project, undertaken by serious and honorable people working lesheim Shamayim. I asked a question, seeing that my internet-based research included lashon hara, and was told that it was permitted for me to read it given a legitimate toeless. But there is no legitimate toeless to write it. My document to nasi was blunt and strongly worded. Being critical is not the issue. On the contrary, a program involving such far-reaching implications must be closely questioned and be made to justify itself. All who care about Torah-Judaism have an obligation to do that. But we also have an obligation to do it properly. Empty complaints are not only improper, but also useless as no one, nasi included, can be expected to respond to such material.
Kol tuv,
M. E. (in the paper it has the full name)
December 8, 2011 3:18 am at 3:18 am #847971TROLL – BLOCKEDMemberAZ: If you are going to say that you dont tell the names of the “few well known Roshei Yeshiva” because then they will just look like figureheads, then why do you keep on telling us about them??? after all, they are just figureheads, they dont have any real say in Nasi!!
now, i realize that is not what you are saying but im just trying to show you how you came across to me. If they arent just figureheads( which i sure hope theyre not!!) why cant you tell us some names?? otherwise, how does it help anyone if they are “well known”??
(please answer this directly- see my earlier post as for why)
December 8, 2011 3:52 am at 3:52 am #847972rcParticipantwho gets the “administratve fee” of 500? thats where the scam is. and what is that money being paid for? what serivices exactly, considering this is all done for the Klal.
December 8, 2011 1:30 pm at 1:30 pm #847973AZParticipantRc: That will all be part of the public record where and for what every penny is spent.
An example of where that fee would go for is to help cover costs of the advertising of this new project. To date, it would take close to 20 weddings of girls (aside from the first 50 to sign up) to cover the costs of the ads run so far.
If you would like to donate that money, I’m sure the program would be more than happy to return the $500 for the first 20 girls who get married who aren’t part of the first 50 on the list.
Interested?
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.