Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › if you're married and haven't read "Men are from Mars & Women are from Venus….
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April 2, 2012 6:43 am at 6:43 am #602760Think firstMember
…Then go out and buy it. I promise you your marriage will blossom like never before.
If you’re single, read it, you’ll be very well prepared for a great journey.
April 2, 2012 1:43 pm at 1:43 pm #865141yitzchokmParticipantThink,
I’m not sure it’s the correct hashkafa for everyone to read.
April 2, 2012 2:28 pm at 2:28 pm #865142yummy cupcakeMemberi’ve never read it but it doesn’t sound like the right hashkafa, like yitzchokm said.
April 2, 2012 2:58 pm at 2:58 pm #865143Such things only cause havoc. Being a good person is what makes a marriage work. Lots of talking, open communication, honesty, spending time together and not secluding yourself. There, that’s all you need for married life summarized in 3 lines.
I agree with yitzchokm, also.
April 2, 2012 3:13 pm at 3:13 pm #865144popa_bar_abbaParticipantI’ve read it, and it isn’t any hashkafa–good nor bad. It is just a book about how men and women think, and is quite helpful in understanding why women are such morons.
April 2, 2012 3:45 pm at 3:45 pm #865145Dont Worry Be HappyMemberIt’s a great book that helps men and women understand each other and a tool that can improve marriages. Especially important in a community where men and women don’t have much contact prior to marriage. Why would you judge the hashkafa of a book that you never read based on a title or the cover? All this book does is encourage and teach men and women to communicate better. Who cares whether it was put out by Artscroll or Feldheim or a secular publisher.
April 2, 2012 3:57 pm at 3:57 pm #865146bptParticipantRead it? I (and all marrieds) live it.
Old ideas, new packaging. Best way to learn the ropes is by playing the game. Take the cost of the book and buy flowers instead. You’ll learn all you need to know, and then some.
April 2, 2012 5:23 pm at 5:23 pm #865147ToiParticipantas my chosson teacher opened up the shmooze with “women are nuts”, you dont need to buy a book to learn that. there, i just taught you all you need to know. please send 17.99+s&h to me.
April 2, 2012 5:53 pm at 5:53 pm #865148computer777Participantpopa_bar_abba: I agree. Which goes to show how idiotic the book is. And damaging to a good marriage rather than helpful
April 2, 2012 6:12 pm at 6:12 pm #865149yitzchokmParticipantDont Worry Be Happy
Why would you say I haven’t read it?
I believe that some of the points it brings out may be wrong.
The point of Artscroll ect books is that they have some sort of haskomus, stating that it reflects torah hashkafa.
btw,
popa, you being a woman and all, what does that make you?
April 2, 2012 6:14 pm at 6:14 pm #865150yitzchokmParticipanteither way, the rest of his books are definitely assur for an unmarried bachur.
April 2, 2012 9:21 pm at 9:21 pm #865151Dont Worry Be HappyMemberI was responding to “Yummy Cupcake” who said “i’ve never read it but it doesn’t sound like the right hashkafa, like yitzchokm said.” I just don’t understand why somebody would have an opinion about hashkafa on a book that they haven’t read.
April 2, 2012 9:28 pm at 9:28 pm #865152Dont Worry Be HappyMemberToi – “as my chosson teacher opened up the shmooze with “women are nuts”, you dont need to buy a book to learn that. there, i just taught you all you need to know. please send 17.99+s&h to me.” This comment underscores the need for couples to be taught how to communicate, it’s not natural to many people and alot of resentment can be created while young couples try to figure it out. I really hope that your chosson teacher didn’t open with a comment that women are all nuts and that if he did you moved on to a class that taught with respect. Men and women are different, but neither are nuts.
April 2, 2012 9:45 pm at 9:45 pm #865153chaimboruchMemberfor the record, the author was divorced a few times.
What i took from the book was that when my wife says somethings wrong, dont try to ‘fix it’ she wants me to listen and feel bad… and then when i have an issue- she says how she feels bad– and i say i dont care- all i want is to fix it.
April 2, 2012 10:19 pm at 10:19 pm #865154Think firstMemberToi- oy vavoy! On you and your chosson teacher. Halacha teaches a man to love his wife like himself and respect her more than himself.
I wonder how well ur marriage is doing with that attitude, which totaly against halacha and hashkafa.
April 3, 2012 12:20 am at 12:20 am #865155LogicianParticipantToi – are you just trying to shock, or just never have patience to type (or explain yourself) ?
We all understand, I hope, that marriage is meant to help us grow in our midos, actually try to change our ways that disturb others, and manage to put others before our own, natural ways/tendencies/wants etc.
April 3, 2012 3:26 am at 3:26 am #865156ToiParticipantlogician- the second. thanks for being my miturgamen lol.
April 3, 2012 3:58 am at 3:58 am #865157LogicianParticipantSo why bother posting ?
It sounds like you actually have the ability to explain normal, yeshivish hashkofos (people, i’m using this phrase for TOI only, kay?) to the rest of the people here. Instead you often come across sort of…well…whatever. 🙂
April 3, 2012 4:48 am at 4:48 am #865158ToiParticipantlogician- thanks for the compliment. you could be right, but i tire of having to deal at length with people who wont admit that they seek to further their agendas, as opposed to trying to see things in a torah light. my mother always said i shoulda been a lawyer rather then a yungerman. but you cant curl youre thumb at a judge; i just wouldnt be able to deal.
April 3, 2012 4:57 am at 4:57 am #865159LogicianParticipantToi – actually I think you should go to law school just to introduce to them the powerful thumb-waving thinking technique 🙂
I, on the other hand, enjoy dealing with them at length, and while of course they never admit to anything, to others who read the exchange it becomes clear who proved what.
April 3, 2012 2:04 pm at 2:04 pm #865160computer777Participant…. and while of course they never admit to anything, to others who read the exchange it becomes clear who proved what.
Excellent!
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