Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › if you found out youre a goy…
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January 29, 2014 5:12 am at 5:12 am #611996oyyoyyoyParticipant
famous stuff are: bring a reb akiva eiger into the bathroom.
“tie my right shoe before my left shoe”- attributed to r yankel the iluy
January 29, 2014 3:05 pm at 3:05 pm #1010379👑RebYidd23ParticipantI’d start a cat rescue and you’d have to start a borogove reduction program.
January 29, 2014 3:41 pm at 3:41 pm #1010380EnderParticipanteat chailev
January 29, 2014 4:10 pm at 4:10 pm #1010381BoruchSchwartzParticipanti would bite my lips on shabbos
January 29, 2014 4:34 pm at 4:34 pm #1010383Sam2ParticipantWho’s R’ Yankel the Iluy?
January 29, 2014 4:49 pm at 4:49 pm #1010384yacr85Participantnot make a zecher lechurban in my house
January 29, 2014 4:50 pm at 4:50 pm #1010385gotbeerParticipantEat lobster!!!!!!!!!!
January 29, 2014 5:06 pm at 5:06 pm #1010386brainwashParticipantLearn Iyun on Tishabav!
January 29, 2014 5:08 pm at 5:08 pm #1010387Little FroggieMemberI think I once wrote this (maybe with a different..)
What I would do? I’d bring a korban to HaShem – a perfectly permitted and most meritorious thing a non Jew can do. And a Jew nowadays cannot.
Then I’d make a dash for Beis Din.
January 29, 2014 5:24 pm at 5:24 pm #1010388WIYMemberI would walk in front in the 4 amos of someone davening shemoneh esrei.
January 29, 2014 6:54 pm at 6:54 pm #1010389HaLeiViParticipantI’d make a private Geirus and keep the affair quiet, to avoid it dragging on.
January 29, 2014 7:29 pm at 7:29 pm #1010390Rav TuvParticipantI would:
1) say devarim shb’hedusha without a minyan.
2) daven not wearing a black hat and jacket.
3) say pesukim of tanach b’al peh.
4) Teach my daughter gemara.
January 29, 2014 7:31 pm at 7:31 pm #1010392oyyoyyoyParticipantsorry sam. cant say.
January 29, 2014 7:41 pm at 7:41 pm #1010393popa_bar_abbaParticipantWhat if you find out you’re Jewish, but just not frum. What would you do then?
January 29, 2014 8:22 pm at 8:22 pm #1010394midwesternerParticipantThat line is alleged to have been said by. R Yaakov Drillman.
January 29, 2014 8:41 pm at 8:41 pm #1010395nfgo3MemberBest answer so far: gotbeer’s
January 29, 2014 8:42 pm at 8:42 pm #1010396nfgo3MemberI’d buy a pair of green pants with navy-blue whales on them.
January 29, 2014 8:47 pm at 8:47 pm #1010397Veltz MeshugenerMemberPBA, you’re not going to believe it, but that is exactly what happened to me! What I did was, I criticized everyone else until I felt better.
January 29, 2014 9:07 pm at 9:07 pm #1010398hudiParticipantGo to har habayis
January 29, 2014 10:11 pm at 10:11 pm #10103992ND OPPINIONParticipantPeek at birkat cohanim. I’m soooo curious…
January 30, 2014 8:38 pm at 8:38 pm #1010400walton157Member@everyone: If we found out that we aren’t Jewish non of the above would apply to us. So this whole thing is moot.
January 31, 2014 12:40 am at 12:40 am #1010401Trust 789MemberI would cry.
January 31, 2014 2:01 am at 2:01 am #1010402Torah613TorahParticipantlol at Veltz
January 31, 2014 2:19 am at 2:19 am #1010403funnyboneParticipantI’d go daven in a noisy shul and talk through the whole davening.
January 31, 2014 4:12 pm at 4:12 pm #1010404singincherryMemberwhat a horrible thought.
January 31, 2014 8:01 pm at 8:01 pm #1010405nfgo3MemberFunnybone is now tied for first with gotbeer.
February 1, 2014 6:21 pm at 6:21 pm #1010406✡onegoal™ParticipantI would post on shabbos.
February 1, 2014 11:28 pm at 11:28 pm #1010407Lost1970Member>> What if you find out you’re Jewish, but just not frum.
>> What would you do then?
Coming from non — observant background it is very hard to give up most of worldly indulgences. Nevertheless, I do observe some commandments — I mostly observe Sabbath (do not use electricity, computer, do not write, do not use hot water). I observe most of kashrut and say some prayers.
February 2, 2014 5:30 am at 5:30 am #1010408👑RebYidd23ParticipantCrying is acceptable for Jews but not a recommended recreational activity for everyone.
February 3, 2014 3:14 pm at 3:14 pm #1010409BaalHaboozeParticipanteat bacon with my cholent,
keep TWO days purim,
and text on shabbos
February 3, 2014 4:00 pm at 4:00 pm #1010410popa_bar_abbaParticipantWhat if you found out you were Joseph?
February 3, 2014 4:49 pm at 4:49 pm #1010411Sam2ParticipantPBA: I’d post inflammatory drivel on YWN.
February 3, 2014 6:38 pm at 6:38 pm #1010412rationalfrummieMemberI’d eat a cheeseburger with gid hanasheh meat cooked b’chaleiv imo with some camel meat wrapped in bacon on the side.
Also, I’d go to the beach, but I’m sure you kofrim already do that.
February 3, 2014 6:50 pm at 6:50 pm #1010413WIYMemberrf
“Also, I’d go to the beach, but I’m sure you kofrim already do that.”
Whoa buddy!!!
February 3, 2014 7:04 pm at 7:04 pm #1010414☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantEat strawberries.
February 3, 2014 8:07 pm at 8:07 pm #1010415zahavasdadParticipantId get a blue Shirt
February 5, 2014 12:23 am at 12:23 am #1010417Charles ShortMember@DaasYochid, stawberries not kosher?
February 5, 2014 4:09 pm at 4:09 pm #1010418zahavasdadParticipantStrawberries are Kosher
The issue they are debating is the Bugs that infest the strawberries and what is required to get rid of them since the Bugs are not Kosher and How big or small the bugs are
(Bugs you can see with your naked eyes are not Kosher, Stuff Like Protozoa which require a microscope you dont need to worry about)
February 5, 2014 4:23 pm at 4:23 pm #1010419☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantZahavasdad, correct.
February 5, 2014 4:36 pm at 4:36 pm #1010420the-art-of-moiParticipantI would be happy and sad at the same time cuz on one hand, my aveiros were never aveiiros, on the other, y mitzvis were never mitzvos.
Ultimately, I would be sad cuz i think i did enuf teshuvah for my past mistakes.
February 5, 2014 4:49 pm at 4:49 pm #1010421squeakParticipantI would start saying “sheasani kirtzoinoi” every morning. But I would probably pronounce it kirtzono.
February 20, 2014 6:00 am at 6:00 am #1010422👑RebYidd23ParticipantYou mean “sheasani goy”.
March 31, 2014 5:16 am at 5:16 am #1010423I. M. ShluffinParticipantSuch horrible answers! How can you even entertain the idea?! I would cry, but I wouldn’t, cus I wouldn’t have time if I wanted to do a geirus within a minute.
March 31, 2014 3:23 pm at 3:23 pm #1010424Bookworm120ParticipantI don’t think I’d have the time to enjoy strawberries — I would attempt to start the conversion process ASAP!
March 31, 2014 3:58 pm at 3:58 pm #1010425zahavasdadParticipantIf I found out such a thing, I know what Id do, Id keep a secret. I know people who were in such circumstances and they were all of a sudden treated very differently by the community, they were suddenly shunned and treated as person non grata and even after the problem was fixed, hurt feelings do not go away so easily
March 31, 2014 4:34 pm at 4:34 pm #1010426ben_DavidParticipantI wouldn’t believe it, my Jewfro can’t lie.
March 31, 2014 4:35 pm at 4:35 pm #1010427Rebbe YidParticipantI would do teshuva for all the shabbosos I kept be’issur.
March 31, 2014 8:50 pm at 8:50 pm #1010428🐵 ⌨ GamanitParticipantI would probably wait a bit before converting, to make sure I’m not just doing it because I can’t imagine not being jewish. I’d want to be jewish because of the special kesher with Hashem, not just because I can’t imagine life any other way.
April 1, 2014 1:18 am at 1:18 am #1010429questions101MemberThank you I. M. Shluffin for changing the tone of the answers. These more recent answers a lot more acceptable.
April 2, 2014 5:02 am at 5:02 am #1010430oyyoyyoyParticipantwow and original. its good to know theres someone in the world thats making sure these answers are acceptable besides the mods.
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