If Nassi is wrong, how do you explain why 1000’s of older girls are stil single?

Global warming or not global
Warming we all don’t want a polluted world so perhaps it makes no difference if there is a crisis or not a crisis some people do need assistance in order to get married. And all ideas discussed should be considered.
Often when you get older the gilt stays inspire , older single boys are bit more burned out from learning so many years. The boys go through intense yeshiva from a young age and what’s expected from the boys in those years if one stays single is hard not to be burned out ( burned out is not off the derech ) on the other hand girls don’t have it intense as far Yiddishkeit and they continue to want that same “frumy” guy that recent seminary experiences recommended.
Of course the above doesn’t apply to every crisis case.
-Another problem is that we are too segregated ladies often only know single woman , men only know single men and hardly anyone knows both groups. Many judge mingling on shabbos meals etc.
– boys might be getting more names because of the simple reason that it is considered courteous to the girl to ask the boy first , perhaps if the girl was asked first and were the ones to say no the boys would get less names.
– yidishkeit has changed so much it would it seem thus dividing the religion into tooo many religions ( Lakewood , tv no tv, learners not learners , kollel plans va no killer plans , etc etc
– even in a bad economy some people get jobs some don’t and even in a great economy some don’t get jobs and perhaps is not because there are no jobs but rather because is not a match or the person is too picky with jobs . So crisis or no crisis what can we do to help the individual. Honesty can help.
– then there is mental health , secrets , personal fears about marriage or intimacy, parents divorced , or different.
– been single till late make on more distant from the community many times.

I would suggest setting up an amount of money one would pay the shadchan let’s say 1k , for every schiduch the Shadchan sets up and doesn’t end up with an engagement the price of Shadchanus goes down 10% this incentives the Shadchan to not be setting up randomly with out giving thought.
– I hate to write this people do judge the book by the cover and often girls and boys can get some help improving things that Shadchanim are often hearing been said about the boy or girl.
– Girls are so accomplished now days often boys a bit less accomplished feel that the girl won’t accept them or that they won’t be equals at home and in order to protect their self value they just say no the girl. We don’t have many marriages were the husband is the stay at home dad by us.
Any way shiduch or no shiduch crisis there is much room for creativity with each particular case and instead of speculating having a good conversation with the single as to why they themselves think they are single Might help us help them.
After all even if in the “crisis” most of their friends did get a partner in crime.
More mixed meals and events would be helpful.
If there is in fact such crisis perhaps it would make sense to add a misheberach in Shul for singles to get married.
We also have a vulnerability issue in our community we are afraid to share many things publicly that might attract others ( stupid things like wanting to go to movies it’s often not shared , simple mental health issues such as taking minor doses of stuff for anxiety are often public knowledge in the secular world we have a long way to go in learning to be vulnerable share things as a family financial crisis , religious views etc )
Just typed everything that came to my mind
Let’s pray for all the singles and their families and for those who are married and wish they weren’t r”l

” a large percentage of boys in the frum so called chareidi circles are just not marriageable material”

this comment isn’t telling us of the problem but is the problem itself, this ridiculously negative view of the boys, a sexism if you will, there is no higher percentage of problematic boys than girls, standards differ, if a girl puts on a dress she’s wonderful, if the boy doesn’t learn 12 hours a day he’s horrible, that’s the attitude, i know many fine unmarried boys who just aren’t kollel types

Bisboy: Move to Utah, change your name to Reb Gershon and start a polygamous chassidus.

To those who attribute the shidduch crisis to the increasing “independence” of seminary girls et. al. who learn to have their own opinions and are able to assess a bochur as a potential life-partner, I would view this as a net positive but I suspect that would not be the consensus view here among those who conflate independence and secular education among jewish women with “feminism”.

Shout out to all the singles out there who actually live the shidduch crisis every day.
Davening for you all
I know how hard it is

Hey Haimy…..what is a “typical” single guy or single girl?? Specifically, what attributes make them “typical”??

Pretty simple.
1. More girls are concerned to make themselves resumes as apposed to guys who are less concerned. At age 30, of my 20 peers that are still single I was the only one with a resume.
2. At age 30, I believe there are more divorced girls than never married. Nassi is a great project for someone to make himself feel good that he’s contributing to society in a positive way, but in fact he’s really just creating a better market for the marriage counseling industry.

The crisis is that many singles either don’t date good perspective matches or listening to bad advice from freinds instead of Rabbonim or rebbeim whether to break of with perspective matches or not. Who knows how many of the older singles have rejected their basherts for whatever reason.

Because the seminary patriarchal welfare system is only meant for a few. Something that won’t be addressed at an askan convention.

There’s a major problem with encouraging boys to simply date and marry younger.

They’ll naturally want to marry girls their age (20-21) or younger, anyway, and all you’re left with is lots of young couples who are struggling, both emotionally and financially, as they aren’t mature enough to have a relationship independent of their parents and don’t have money because the boy is learning and the girl is halfway through her college degree and they now have a baby, and she can’t find a job that pays well enough to support the family AND pay the babysitter, and then what?

What we should be doing is NOT encouraging younger boys to marry; It’s encouraging boys to marry OLDER girls. That way, the girl already completed her degree, has an income, has the maturity that is brought about through life experience, and can pass that on to her husband, who should be grateful he can now learn in kollel and be supported.

Take it from me. My wife is several years older than me. And not only is our marriage amazing (6+ years, so far), our age difference has never been an important factor in ANYTHING.

Problem is most girls who are settled expect no less from the guy if not more. So the fact that they have a steady income actually goes against a guy who has a regular job or no diploma. If a girl truly wanted to marry, they shouldn’t be turning it into a competition of who makes more. As long as the guy is good and a hard worker there should be no reason to dismiss unless these girls just want to stay single over their false pride. Some still feel they are 20 years old with so many options. Besides what is more true in life, true happiness with the person you want to be with forever or some extra paper? Especially if the woman is settled she has no excuse if she found a good guy by rejecting him due to finances. Even a poor life with the partner who is your true love is worth more than a life of leisure with someone who isn’t. It’s worth everything in this short life in my opinion. Nothing compares to having that person as yours.

Rebyid- lives of true love tend to be longest. And being poor as well was just an extreme example. You can have an average life and be happy with what you have and have a true mutual live which lasts longer and more meaningful than anything. Don’t necessarily need to be poor it’s not either or. And rather than being blinded by money and influences from all sides family,friends,shadchanim who put in false criteria to look into a guy when it just ruins many potential matches.

Yes money is important and my examples include a guy who is hard working but just has an average parnassah. Isn’t the everlasting outcome of marriage the actual person who you marry or is it the money which is temporary? I think girls/woman need to reprogram their minds to what’s important. I don’t except girls to know this they are usually young and spoiled and easily influenced by others manipulation. But the problem is that the older girls were young once too and it only took then to reach age 30 and up to understand what the true importsnce of life is. Especially if they have a stable income. They could have shared their lives with someone but didn’t even consider since they expected the guy to make just as much or more. Was the competition worth it?

Has the age gap of shidduchim in the frum community significantly narrowed in the past 5-10 years?

Are there now relatively less of an overflow of single older girls?

Has the shidduch crisis eased?

From an actuarial point of view, the girl should be 2-3 years older. That way they can expect to die together.

Huju, this way neither suffers.

UJM: With all respect, don’t you have better things to do at 3AM on rosh chodesh August than to resurrect a 2.5 year old thread on the BIG LIE (aka the “shiduch crisis”)? Nothing has changed in 2.5 years other than 7 or 8 interim threads on variants of the same subject and about hundreds of paid ads promoting everything from mainstream segulos to bizarre new age scams for finding your beschert. And no, the “age gap” has not materially changed over the past 30 months according to published data (which itself is several years out of date).