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But why should nobody be allowed to joke about it? Joking about it makes it less scary and easier to face, which is necessary since it is impossible to run away. To call it by its name and not to be afraid is good. And humor can be very beneficial.
Humor can certainly lighten things, but the question is whether or not everything should be lightened. There are some things that should be taken seriously, even they are more difficult to face that way.
I find that sweeping generalities reign supreme. I am not implying that nobody is allowed to joke about it. I am saying that a random poster should not make joking statements about difficult life situations or painful subjects in a mocking way unless it is within a context or part of a specific discussion.
When I am sitting with people who know that I have lost my only two sisters and my parents, and sat shiva four times in six years, I will sometimes make a “joke” about loss, about shiva, about death or mourning. But they know where I am coming from. If I showed up to a new group and started making jokes about death, it could potentially be very painful to someone who has recently suffered a loss, giving the impression that I think it is a light topic.
This is my experience and understanding, others can feel differently. But as someone with a very cynical and sarcastic sense of humor, who has been through my share of traumas, and made my share of jokes, I feel confident making this point.
and mw13 has a point as well.
you may not be ‘random’, but you are still “random”. And either way, the first post in a thread is not part of a discussion until after it gets responses. And lastly, I don’t believe you were offended by my assumptions because I didn’t make any. And you have also demonstrated thicker skin than that.
whatever makes you happy . . .
—But why should nobody be allowed to joke about it?—
A joke that’s funny, that’s uplifting, is one matter. A joke that mocks people who are trying to address a tragic situation is another. Maybe to you it’s not tragic because you are lost in your own little world. Here’s my suggestion, spend a day with a family with an autistic child. Then find a joke for us.
Here’s my suggestion, spend a day with a family with an autistic child. Then find a joke for us.
owl – you don’t know that s/he doesn’t. the fact is that there is nothing wrong with the joking per se. it is coming on with no context, without the listeners knowing your negius, and making a joke. we all may have responded differently had an op started a thread this way, “After a trip to the fruit store with my autistic son i had the funniest thought . . .”
or
“after spending days sifting through ‘autism research’ with other parents, I have drawn the conclusion that the real cause of autism was the creation of Thomas cartoons”
Here’s a joke. the mother of an autistic boy thought this was hysterical and shared it with others whom she knew would enjoy the laugh.
Her son eats non-stop. She used to lock the fridge but it didn’t work. He especially loves deli but, for some reason, hates bologna. The mom bought 3 pounds of bologna for her other kids knowing that her son wouldnt touch it.
One morning she woke up and found that her son had gone to the fridge and had apparently been unhappy about finding the deli package to contain bologna. How did she know? He slapped every last piece against the wall, where they stuck firmly, like a second layer of wallpaper. She thought it was a funny site, and a funny story and so did we. And I don’t think anyone but an autistic child would have thought of it. But that doesn’t mean I think autism is funny. I just think we sometimes need to laugh at our situations.
I am a little lost in terms of what this discussion is really about, but the way I understand it, everyone deals with hardship differently and although one person might be insulted by a joke, it might be the coping mechanism of the other person. The best thing to do would be to express any hurt that a comment elicited and understand that the comment is not necessarily coming to harm and might be the way that a different person trys to help.
Some things are never funny, even as a joke. (I don’t have to give examples, do I?) Some things are funny as a joke, but not in real life. It seems like RebYidd23 is referring to some specific joke on a different thread, and since I don’t know what that joke was, I can’t be sure which category the joke in question falls into.
Oh! Was this what you were talking about in the thread about the seagull?!
What thread are you referring to?
Thanks, Mod 79.
Off topic, RebYidd23: How come you referred to yourself in the third person?
theres a time & a place for everything, as sad of a day that tisha b’av is a person is not supposed to lighten it up by making jokes, its a day of mourning…. Yom Kippur is a very serious day & being funny lightens the seriouness of the yom tov set aside as a gift of doing teshuva etc…. many other examples…. the way to be menachem avel someone is not by going & making jokes with them….
Very creative!
RebYidd23 you’re an awesome person ☺✌🆒🔬🔭📚🎁🎂🎠🎨🎵🏡🚀💐💍🚸✈🚕🔝♻🆙💡🔥🏆📬🎻🎸🎹🐩🐣🐦🐢🐄🐳🐋🐫🐊🐯🐆🐧🐼🐝🐜🐛🍭🍯🍉🍒🍓🍎🍍🍇🍈🌸🌷🌴🌳🌞🌝❄⛄🌎🌊🌆🌄🌍🌊🌎🌈🌿
I was referring to you taking an old thread and inserting new posts after almost every old post without really losing the continuity of the thread!
Yeah, Plus one! CR would be dull without you.
“Neurotypicals” – Brilliant.
Rav Shamshon Refael Hirsch on המבלי אין קברים במצרים לקחתנו למות במדבר notes that already at the banks of the Yam Suf, the Jewish sense of humor, in all its sarcastic glory, was a natural outlet for psychological stress, a role it would continue to play during the millennia of Galus that would follow later.
The only caveat, as pointed out above, is to make sure that those who hear you will not misunderstand and take offense.
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