how young is too young to married

in the chasidish community 15 is not so crazy cuz the boys start going out at 17!!

but to any parent that allows their child to get married at such a young age needs to seriously look for a good therapist

how can u expect a boy that is 15 to get married and stay married???

Sac, I stand by it! A 15 year old is not mature enough emotionally to handle the “adult” side of being a wife. Nor should she be having children at 15 or 16, she is still a child herself and is not prepared emotionally nor physically for the job. She might be a good babysitter but is not ready to be a wife or mother. It is not “WRONG” on so many levels, it is “RIGHT” on so many levels. A child, is a child, is a child and till she finishes growing on so many levels she is still a CHILD.

Sac, you are not married yet, but think about it. When YOU were 15, did your parents leave you alone for days to watch your siblings? Did you parents trust you overnight with the baby? Or did your parents believe that you were a kid and needed your sleep? That’s because you WERE a kid and needed your sleep. That’s because your body and your brain did not finish developing. You were not the same at 16 as you were at 15, and for sure you were not the same at 18 as you were at 15. Get my point?

They can also finally move up from hi-risers to furnature that befits their new status……

Simmons Bunk Beds!

a) there has been girls in the recent past that have gotten married at 15 <— and then they DO get kicked out of there respective schools.

and the 17 man/child is unlikely.

thing number one- the 15/16 girl could be mature -the 17 year old boy? not a chance.

in those cases it’s a above age ( ie 22+) year old guy

that’s a tad creepy- aka a whooole other story/ issue

“Lets be real here and not smart alecky”

I see your point, but agree with ImaOfThree. I don’t think the article was real; it was just to make charedim / chassidim look bad.

So rather than address it in a serious manner, some of us chose humor.

But for the record, I do not think 15 (or anything teen, for that matter, boy or girl) is marraige materiel

“And that’s me “being real.”

And you’re how old?

Of marriageable age…

As in 15? 18? 20? And I forgot if you’ve noted it in a prior post; what gender are you?

Trust me, you ain’t seen nuthin yet. Don’t believe me? Ask a married friend or sibling if its as easy as it looks.

Ok, so that puts you at a minimum of 18, maybe even 19. Are you telling me, the 2011 Freshies in your HS are as “up-to-the-challenge” as you Sem Girls are?

And if I can juggle oranges, should I try to do it with chain saws?

Marraige is no place for teens. No matter what’s going on in the here and now, and no matter how successful the newly minted couples appear to be. And toss an infant into the mix a year or so later (which is a real possibility) and you have the setting for a perfect storm.

Not a nice place to be for a teen.

Marriageable age, it is age, when people mature enough to take care not only of themselves, but also of their spouse and children. I can imagine, that 17 years old boy would like to learn full time. Now, what kind of job can have 15 years old girl to support her husband and herself, if she did not graduate from high school, does not have any skills/profession? Can 15 years old girl make enough money to pay for rent, health insurance, food, clothes? Even if she will find some kind of job (babysitting?), can you imagine 15 year old “woman” working + taking care of her house, spouse and kid, making weekly shopping on her feet and carry all bags in her hands (she can’t drive at age 15 even if she is mature). Yes, 15 years old girl knows how to cook, how to clean up the house and make laundry. She can babysit. But does it mean she is physically and mentally ready to do this in a regular basis day after day?

Being ready for marriage is not only about maturity. Very nice a 15 year old girl is “more mature than a 19 year old” but really, age makes a huge difference. No matter how immature a 19 year old is, she has more life experience than a 15 year old “mature” girl. You need to experience life and how the world runs before you get married which no one has by 15, 16. Or very rarely does anyone at a young age have such life experience. And it does not even have to be experiencing drastic things but just living life. living it for longer. So really, what I am trying to say, is that the older the better, No matter how mature!

dunno,

I’m not sure how man gray heir relates to his height.

Also “old” is not equal “older”.

Re-read the posts you comment.

aries

I think its wrong for 15 year olds to get married, no question about it. I had a problem w the wording of your post, I thought it was in bad taste.

cv

Being that I’m going on 24 and not married we are speaking in the hypothetical 😉

I’m not sure how familiar you are w maturing females/males. At 15 girls are often taller than boys, girls are usually nearing the end of their maturation process (keeping it Kosher) and boys are usually just starting. (Oh, another reason why this is a really bad idea).

yeah but we are not living in the alter heim. maybe we should also drive horses, they also did that in the alter heim. nowadays there are so many factors to consider, you can’t even compare that world and how they did things–one minor example being school. girls weren’t in high school in the alter heim, here they are. just an example. besides, whoever said that how they did everything in the alter heim is the right way? not all the customs are Torah m’sinai, some where technicalities, just they way things were.

another example is eating potatoes as karpas on pesach. thats not the ideal vegetable to eat, but many families do, because “thats how they did it in the heim”. well, why did they do it? thats the vegetable they could afford/thats what was available, etc.

we dont need to translate everything from the heim into our lives today. sure, there are many of us who have ancestors who married between the ages of 12-18, older than that was downright old. but that doesnt mean that today that would be appropriate.

Are 15-year olds too immature to get married? Well, that’s going to depend on the 15-year old we’re talking about. Some are, some aren’t.

And anyways, the Gemora says the best time (for a boy) to get married is 13, so it’s kinda hard to say it’s always wrong to marry under 15…

To those disturbed by the “pawning off” concept, the parameters of such is the opening of this weeks parsha.

“I’m not sure how familiar you are w maturing females/males. At 15 girls are often taller than boys, girls are usually nearing the end of their maturation process (keeping it Kosher) and boys are usually just starting. (Oh, another reason why this is a really bad idea)”

***********************

Sacrilege,

I’m somehow familiar with the subject – my son is 36 and my daughter is 31 ( both B’H married and with kids), also I learned physiology. Boys who have short father, most likely will be short at age 15 and still be short at age 50. A lot of girls still grow till 17-18 and some till 20. You are right, the time difference in “maturation process” is another reason why this is not a good idea. Also, to be physiologically mature and psychologically ready to take responsibilities upon yourself are not the same. To have a family IS responsibility for BOTH party.

I never heard of this rabbi, and don’t know who backs him. In general, even in Israel this is rare. Personally, I am not at all in favor of young marriages.

However. . . there are a very few Chassidic communities in Israel where the accepted thing is for girls to get married at 15/16. Everyone in these small communities for the most part does it, and it seems that the girls really do “grow up” at an earlier age. Perhaps because in their minds they always viewed that age as an adult. I am personally familiar with one couple from such a community — when they got engaged the girl was 15 1/2, the boy was just 19. (By the time they were married she was just 16!) They have been very happily married for over 10 years with a number of kids, and the community as a whole seems to do fine.

Keep in mind, they are living almost a “shtetl” lifestyle. Generally speaking all the parents, siblings, etc. live in the same small neighborhood, helping each other as necessary. People live very simply and do not require a lot of money, and the men often end up learning part time and doing small odd jobs or teaching on the side, and that covers their expenses. Housing is dirt cheap, many people have their own gardens and even lifestock, etc. You cannot compare these communities to those in the US or even the rest of Israel, and certainly to condemn their way of life without any knowledge of it seems unfair.

Keep in mind that even in the US their are certain communities (such as some of the Sephardic communities) where girls routinely marry at 17. While I can’t imagine that for my own daughter, if it works for them, who am I to decide that it’s “too young”.