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There is a front page story about Jerusalem-based organization wanting to lower the legal marrying age to 15. How do people feel about this? Is it OK or too young?
to young,15 is seriously nuts
It seems rather young to me but it all depends on a person’s maturity.
at 15 you prob want someone for all the wrong reasons!! who thinks about values, goals, etc. during such a teenage stage?
its all about looks, looks and looks. i think its a mistake. also, why nit let 15 year olds still enjoy life??!!
15 is a bit young these days, but even some US States allow it at that age with parental consent. So it simply depends on each situation. No one is saying everyone should get married at 15. 16 is allowed in most States.
What im trying to understand from that article is if they cant afford to keep the kids at home after 15 why in the world did they have them???? Im all for having big families but to marry your child at 15 so the husband can take over resposibilities because you cant afford it????? Sorry i cant understand that.
Ima, a parent can’t decide whether to have the kids or not.
I think it’s also the community that has an effect. For example, I think such a young marriage will work better in a place like Meah Shearim than Flatbush.
twiggy
You are probably thinking about it by todays standards in America.
Yes, a spoiled American Teenager wouldnt be able to handle true married life. However, not all cultures and not all time periods are like America of today.
My Great Grandparents were engaged at 13 and were married at 15 and lived a beautiful Toradike life and raised a wonderful family.
In Israel at 15 Teenagers have so much more responsibilities than Teens in America its not even comparable!
My personal opinion is that children should remain children as long as possible because once you grow up you can never get your innocents back.
15?!?!?! Are you all out of your minds?!
It’s way too young, too immature to start real life. Marriage is not just a game. If you really think what marriage is all about, 15 is just a kid, won’t take everything seriously. It’s absolutely absurd for a 15 year old nowadays to be getting married. Years ago, when everyone was more mature, then maybe, but now- in 2011- it’s crazy!! A teenager’s goals are very not what goals should be in a marriage.
Then again, if they do marry at 15, they could study for the Regents together!
Plus, they would each have a whole slew of excuses as to why they are late / could not complete assignments / are wearing what they are wearing, ect.
Ima, a parent can’t decide whether to have the kids or not.
Bed-Stuy, uh, last I checked they sure can!
I don’t think the article is true. Don’t believe everything you read. they just want to make the chassidim look like barbarians.
BP Totty– haha, your answer made me laugh! 😉
Don’t you think kids have a hard enough life as it is with the burdens parents place on them these days? When you are one in fifteen kids coming from a chareidi family, you have a lot of responsibility. You barely get to be a kid! Pushing a fifteen year old into marriage is cruel. Let her be a kid for as long as she can. Having a husband and the responsibilities of being a wife and mother is too much for an immature brain and body to handle. Lets give a child an opportunity to develop to the ripe old age of at least 18 – 20 years old.
The Mishnah gives 18 as the age for marriage.
BP Totty, you just describe my relationship with my husband during our college years (we were friends then dated then engaged then married in our 4 years).
If the age is changed, I think it should be based on halacha. So 12 for a girl, 13 for a boy right? Why the arbitrary 15?
I’m not done yet:
* The bridal registry = American Girl and Scribbles
* During sheva brachos, they can go apply for YouthCore
* Instead of newly leased car, they can get his/hers inline skates
* Rabbonim will need to address if braces are a chatzita
Then again, if they do marry at 15, they could study for the Regents together!
I know that you’re probably joking in this, but, in reality, if a “kid” marries at fifteen, they will probably no longer be welcome in their school. In other words, in addition to being married, she will also likely end up uneducated.
For me, the saddest part of the whole thing is the primary reason stated for the initiative — because they view girls as a financial burden and would like to “pawn them off” on someone else.
The Wolf
* Rabbonim will need to address if braces are a chatzita
I believe this is already a big issue among the poskim.
Ynet had an article about it last year, with Rav Elyashiv saying braces are a Chatzita.
omg BY Totty cant stop laughing! Boy its going to be a really long time till she can buy wine for shabbos by herself if she gets married at 15!!
BP Totty~ rotf!
“For me, the saddest part of the whole thing is the primary reason stated for the initiative — because they view girls as a financial burden and would like to “pawn them off” on someone else.” .. Wolf~ same here
they will need to make maternity uniorm (unless she won’t be accepted to school anymore)
Since this article was about in E”Y, what happens when they turn 18 and HAVE to go to the army?
“I’m not done yet:
* The bridal registry = American Girl and Scribbles
* During sheva brachos, they can go apply for YouthCore
* Instead of newly leased car, they can get his/hers inline skates
* Rabbonim will need to address if braces are a chatzita”
LOL!
BTW, Braces are not a chatzitza unless they are removeable (like a retainer), but special attention and care must be paid to cleaning the teeth and the braces. Anything which is permanently affixed for a long period of time is not a problem. Thus a permanent non-removeable bridge is not a chatzitza, but a temporary filling could be (shailas must be asked about the latter.) Yes, I have discussed this with a rov who is mumcheh in the subject…
” maternity uniorm “
That’s funny!
“care must be paid to cleaning the teeth and the braces”
Keep wishing. Lucky is the parent whose teen remebers to brush at all.
We’re gonna ask little Mrs Kallah to brush dilligent each month?
DONT LAUGH about the wine thing!! My daughter was newly married living in Baltimore and she couldnt buy wine for Shabbos!!!
jl definately not laughing about the wine. I got married at 17 (BH still happily married and its 26 years later!) and beleive it or not i still felt like a baby till three kids later when i was able to buy wine for shabbos for the first time by myself!!!
so basically the 15 yr old should get married, have kids and by 17-18 she will have 1 or 2 babies and have bigger financial issues then before
yep! my daughter-in-law can’t buy alcohol yet… for another year. (meaning wine for Shabbos, of course!)
Honestly, are 15 year old girls really ready to be “women”?????
BEST IMA
You had 3 kids by 21?!
*Blows in to a brown paper bag*
Best Ima, that is truly beautiful. All of Klal Yisroel can learn to emulate how you married young and had a shteeb full of kinder by 21. I salute you for your courage!
nuts thats what it is…
“3 kids by 21?! “
Maybe she had triplets at 21?
Maybe she had them at 20, 22 and 24, but is still “forever 21”?
(not that we’d assume anything else than now and forever 21, Best Ima; we’re just talking theoreticaly..)
She said she got married at 17, so she could have had them at 18, 19, and 20.
BP Totty im still 21 even with 11 kids! And i had just turned 17 when i got married had my 3 boys by 21. Then i bought my first bottle of wine for shabbos!
“I’m still 21”
That’s what I suspected all along.
Ok, now lets get back to our 15 year old chosson / kallah:
* For the honeymoon, we can send them to Great Adventures.. and they can ride on the “big” roller-coaster!
* For the sake of sholom bayis, they can take turns choosing which flavor of SuperSnacks to buy for recess
” For the sake of sholom bayis, they can take turns choosing which flavor of SuperSnacks to buy for recess”
This one really made me laugh!
Seriously, lets stop promoting the concept of “kids having kids”. Isn’t it enough that the goyim do it? Don’t the yiddin have more seichel. Is the marriage contract enough to make a child a woman?
“Seriously, lets stop promoting the concept of “kids having kids”. Isn’t it enough that the goyim do it? Don’t the yiddin have more seichel. Is the marriage contract enough to make a child a woman”
The difference is that we do it B’kedusha V’tahara.
Sorry aries, but that post is wrong on so many levels.
bp totty- i must admit- u are making me laugh tonight!
BPT- your posts are the best!
When you’re young enough to be mivater easily, and wise enough to know when it’s time for the other person to give in.
BP Totty- you are HYSTERICAL!! But for real I know a girl who got married at sixteen and her friends were having a hard time going to the wedding… their regent was the next day! so she had to make it up in August because she wanted her regents diploma or something like that! cute, no?
We’re gonna ask little Mrs Kallah to brush dilligent each month?”
Nope, her husband will.
theObvious: Her husband probably helped her with her regents preparation.
I taught in a few high schools where about a third of my students were kallahs by June.
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