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Is the Belzer shteibel on East Broadway on the same block as Young Israel? Not sure which one that is. I know the Boyaner shul, Mizrachi, Tzemach Tzedek, the Polishe shteibel, and a couple of others all on the same block. I don’t think I’ve heard of the Belzer shteibel though.
Mother in Israel – HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU KNOW I’M FROM THE LES???? i don’t think i ever mentioned it in the cr. SO THIS I GOTTA HEAR.
btw – most of the shuls (of course with some exceptions) are on East Broadway – honestly i don’t remember if the Belzer is on the same block as Young Israel – maybe so or maybe a block east.
Can’t wait to hear back from you!!! 🙂
Don’t whine or kvetch. Men hate it.
R’ Shmuel – We call it “Kvitching”. And yes, men definately hate it. Instant turnoff.
OH – so men never kvetch or kvitch? 😉
No man is capable of doing it remotely as well as a woman even if he tried…
Mother in Israel – HOW IN THE WORLD DID YOU KNOW I’M FROM THE LES???? i don’t think i ever mentioned it in the cr. SO THIS I GOTTA HEAR.
Actually, you’ve mentioned it at least once or twice. Check the pizza threads.
Can anyone list for me R’Avigdor Millers 10 Commandments of marriage?
One thing I do that makes my husband feel like a million dollars, is when he comes in from work, if the house is clean and put together, and quiet, and he sits down comfortably in the living room, I serve him a platter of nuts/fruits/coffee or tea, with a smile, and sit with him and give him my company.
Even after that, if a wife will show that she wants to help and serve him in all his tasks for the rest of the evening, like preparing for tommorrow things, his lunch, or his clothes.
Even if I am not happy I notice that if I just pretend or try it makes him happy to put on a smile.
always runs, can i come to your house after work?
im the wife in my house but would love to come home toa nice clean house, sit down comfortably in the living room and be served tea and a fruit/nut platter. i am hoping that dinner comes next.
and it is so thoughtful of you to forego how you are feeling in order to make your dear hubby happy.
aishes chayil indeed!
so when I have something to kvetch about (yes every single person has things to complain about some times) would he rather me go talk to my friends about it and keep him out of it. I think he would want to hear and work through it with me.
I can ask him when I meet him and try to report back here
hehe cute answer adorable.
the main thing is , it doesnt matter if the wife had a hard day or is unhappy about something.
just smile and make sure the hubby is happy.
oh yes, in our home if there is something that makes EITHER of us upset , we discuss it.
he supports me and i support him.
Adorable: “so when I have something to kvetch about (yes every single person has things to complain about some times) would he rather me go talk to my friends about it and keep him out of it. I think he would want to hear and work through it with me.”
Not at all. Of course he would want to hear when something’s bothering you.
But he doesn’t have to be met with a grumpy face as he walks through the door. Put on a smile, wait until he has relaxed a bit and then discuss what’s on your mind.
R Shmuel – ok so should women be flattered or insulted by what you wrote?
It’s a compliment that “No man is capable of doing it remotely as well as a woman even if he tried…” The only part is that the “it” refers to kvetching. hmmm! I think “it” can mean so many other things as well – like, say — cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, and just being wonderful wives and mothers. Not to mention so many other talents we have. 🙂
always runs fast – it’s nice to try to put on a happy face. but can you really do that all the time? surely he knows that we all get upset or sad sometimes. does he always put on a happy face for you even when he’s in a really bad mood?
don’t get me wrong – i’m not trying to ruin your shalom bayis – chas v’shalom! in fact if you really live that way – kol hakovod to you. but i just think that most of us show our emotions at times. that’s just the reality of life. what’s important is that the couple should be able to handle any situations that come their way and keep the shalom bayis in tact.
also – is it really possible to always have the house in tip top shape, a platter of snacks and tea ready, and supper ready on time, prepare his lunch for the next day, etc. etc.? if so , please give me some tips. i feel exausted just thinking about it 🙂
chocandpatience said “Of course he would want to hear when something’s bothering you. “
There is a fine line between expressing what’s bothering you and kvetching. Expressing for the sake of expressing is not a man’s way of doing things. It may very well come off as kvetching. If he offers advice, be quiet and listen. Better yet, ask him for advice about dealing with the situation. You don’t have to follow it, but show respect by asking and listening. And take action if you can.
Some women feel that expressing their frustrations for the sake of expressing is a good thing, and consequently can go on for hours. I have a family member that used to call and complain an hour each day (no exaggeration) . At first I felt that it was chessed to listen to her and maybe offer some advice. But I soon realized that it was futile. The same problems over and over again. She did not want any advice; she did NOT make any effort to fix problems; she just wanted to vent (and vent and vent….) I asked my wife’s advice, and she suggested to not answer when I see it’s the kvetcher on the caller ID.
shlishi, loved it!!
this is perfect for when women didnt work and sat home cooking and baking all day.
they forgot to tell the woman to go out and chop the wood for the fire.
Gefen, good point…Its just NOT realistic to “Perform” like this 100% of the time! I hope y’all realize that when I told you all the above I definatley don’t do that every day! Its just a rarity unfortunately that the house is immaculate, and that its quiet, but the company service and smile with a coffee is pretty standard, unless I am harried from baking, dr’s appts and life! And it is exhausting btw, even without doing it each day!
BUt we like to sit together and have that 15 mins to just “Touch base” its soo important. But..but..one thing I must admit is that the conversation usually turns to me kvetching about the latest “disaster” or appliance that is not working right, or the overdrawn bank acct, and the shopping and life’s little headaches. BUT BUT I do notice that if I dont’ complain, (for no good reason, and especially not for the first 15 mins) and just keep up a happy up beat sort of encounter, it really makes his day.
However, there are times, when its legitamately needed to voice a complaint, and I have to say it. But not 24 hrs a day, and definately not when he comes home.
Listen, think of today’s men in modern day galus as the men of Mitzraim – minus the whips, at the end of the work day, they put down the slave work for a few hours to come home for respite, a bite to eat and see the wife and 100 babies (lol) and then its bedtime until the next day. Day after day struggling to make it all work, and they do suffer out there, but with bitachon and hope in their hearts, looking forward to those few minutes of respite in the home from the 6 days of hard labor in the week.
And of course waiting for Shabbos like a thirsty parched desert wanderer alongside waiting for the Geulah.
We can at least try to make them feel good in the home.
By the way, I am not going to deceitfully paint a picture of myself here that I am a perfect angel. I can be a real trouble maker with a yetzer hara, and hormones and a mouth at times, just like anyone. Don’t think I am not human!
So having painted the similarity between our men today and the men in the generation of Mitzrayim, let’s think how it would further weaken and break them psychologically and physcially and spiritually if at the end of each day the wife waited for him to return home, and he comes home only to hear ..” OY..the heat is too much, why can’t we live by the Nile- it would be cooler, I dont have food for the children, they are starving. Why can’t Hashem just get us out of this place already…oy..I am so tired of living like this…I hate my life…
Its debilitating and we have to have bitachon.
oy, shlishi,,,that is hilarious. I almost agreed with everything in the Guide from 1955 that you posted except “Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first – remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
WHo says his topics are more important? I am the one running the house and kids from within, so my take, observations and evaluations on the situation at home are just as if not more important!
Anyways, I like it very much. And anyways, if any jewish frum healthy woman wanted to follow it, she would be not taking a risk that her husband would take advantage of her kindness and mentchlikite, since this is the nature of a healthy frum marriage.
Always runs: I cannot believe you are a trouble maker – except when you run fast with scissors! 😉 Anyway i found your post very interesting – enjoyed it.
Shlishi – i saw that article a couple of years ago – in fact someone had given me a copy of it. as soon as i saw some posts here, it reminded me of that very article.
They teach this in most 12th grades and seminaries.
Teach what?
The answer to the title here.
oh. In my day, they didn’t. Not in my schools, anyhow.
You may have noticed that you get cold more easily than your husband. This is because men like to be chilled. Every now and then, dump a bucket of ice over his head as a surprise.
Thanks so much, RY! Now, I don’t have to go back to school.
btw, I happen to get hot faster and cold slower than most other people.
@aheimishemom
A slave?! Wow I find that sad. So much depends on connotation and attitude. Who would you think the below definition applies to?
Slaves of the rest of the Jews who spend their days washing bloody floors, chopping up their meat, and offering their animals?
Yeah Kohanim. But no, so not Kohanim. Get my drift?
So you don’t believe in public service?
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