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What do you tell your child when he/she sees another child in school get away with behavior not ordinarily allowed (verbal abuse, mild physical abuse, etc) and you know the reason is that the child’s parent is either a staff member or a big donor? How do you explain this kind of protektzia without your child becoming cynical, when, up to this point, the child completely trusts the staff? What do you do when the normal routes don’t apply (requesting intervention from teachers, principals, guidance counselors, etc)? I am pretty sure the cynicism from seeing this leads children to distance themselves from yiddishkeit.
EH: The problem you ask about does not permeate goyishkeit? It is far worse there.
Please explain the connection.
Pac-Man agreed. This should be completely stopped, Protektzia is a goyish corrupt idea. Unfortunately, it has permeated lots of Jewish institutions nowadays, and should be gotten rid of.
How do you, as the parent, explain it to yourself?
Its easier to talk about it than to internalize it, but, we have to remember the Torah is perfect, people (even people on highly religious rungs) arent.
Why the need to explain? Most kids get it themselves. If the kid asks, why not say I don’t know (which is true as even if they have vitamin P they need chinuch!) and say I expect you not to behave that way.
Also if you are not cynical chances are they won’t be. Children are quick to pick up on the adults real feeling on the matter.
What I can say is that if your child aware of unfairness, don’t make light of it. If you stick up for an authority who is wrong, it will distance your child from you and futurre Rabbaim.
As a child he looks up to his Rebbe as a great Talmid Chochom. As he grows up, he looks back at his Rabbaim in a different light, although he, hopefully, learned to respect his Magidei Shiurim. At that point, a normal child will be able to look back at mildly unfair behavior without considering it a failing of Yiddishkeit.
I think people become cynics due to (bad/trying) life experiences not one person getting favored over the other.
“I am pretty sure the cynicism from seeing this leads children to distance themselves from yiddishkeit.”
Hypocrites are a bigger problem than people who play favorites.
Why not ask the principal how to explain it?
This sounds like a good time to discuss with your child that all people, even teachers and principals, sometimes make mistakes.
However if your child is the victim of the abuse mentioned, please do not stop trying to protect your child!!!!! If you have tried everything from both ends (i.e. you taught your child anti-bullying techniques, and you have tried to get the school to intervene and help the bully get appropriate intervention) and the abuse continues, even if to you it is “only” verbal abuse and mild physical abuse, this may be a reason to take your kid out of the school. This has nothing to do with the protectzia issue, but rather that as a parent you must make sure your child is in a safe environment. It makes no differences if the reason that your child is not safe is due to protectzia, due to ineffective school policies, or due to bad mazal of having an uncontrollable bully in the class, in any case you must protect your child.
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