Is it better to just let them break the ugly vase someone gave you that you never use?
Nope, I’d argue that it’s better to get them something cheap to play with or break. Otherwise, reasoning that you also never use it, they may break the other ugly vase someone gave you that is priceless.
I never throw away broken appliances or other things that can be taken apart. I even haul some broken things in from the dumpster. I give these things to my kids with screwdrivers and hammers and pliers etc. They can be solidly occupied for hours with them. And I don’t think that the concern that they will destroy valuable items is too great. Just make sure that boundaries are clear. Obviously, with two-year-olds (such as the one in China), all bets are off.
popa: Buy them tools. Then they can break your cheap things and fix your expensive things. Or sometimes the other way around. Whatever. (Disclaimer: This post was almost entirely serious).
I used to give my daughter a cheap box if tissues and let her pull out one by one early in the morning. It got me an extra half hour to forty five minutes of sleep …
When I was a teenager, I volunteered at a recycling depot. I got to spend many satisfying mornings smashing bottles in a dumpster with an iron pipe. Got out most of my aggressions that way.