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mocheli – Maybe you could take over some of the responsibilities like doing the grocery shopping. Or you could ask your wife if she would be interested in talking to you about ways to save money and you could show her how ie which stores are cheaper etc.
JF02, it makes perfect sense for a troll.
rebdoniel:
Who is this Ron Lieber, what qualifications does this person possess (academic degrees, research, and experience within the frum community), and what makes you think you can present an argument from the cursed NYT?
I have worked with virtually hundreds of couples, and have a great familiarity with the range of problems presenting. It is not arguable that money issues enter the picture. But the origins of the problems and the core issues are about control, etc. Finances is just one of the arenas where the games are played.
Let me throw another twist into this discussion. A great percentage of all cases appearing before a professional (therapist, counselor, coach, etc.) where a couple is struggling involve the goal of at least one party seeking to describe the other as abusive. The preponderance is that the wife tries to claim the husband is abusive, but the other direction is far from uncommon. One way in which this is described concretely is the control or denial of money. It is simply an easy way to portray the nature of the relationship. Ask any of the professionals who deal with couples whether the issues that are presented at the opening sessions are actually core issues or are just manifestations that are acted out frequently. I rest my case.
Whatever you give her – it wont be enough…
Maybe she’s secretly using the money to subsidize cleaning help for an unfortunate newly married, expectant woman whose husband refuses to pay for s cleaning lady?
This is ridiculous.
To the starter of this thread: If you are comfortable giving $700 a week to your wife and its working out, then why do you care what other people do?!
To those that are putting his wife down: Its none of your business what his wife uses the money for! His question was ‘how much do you give your wife per week for the family bugdet?’ Not ‘is it ok for my not working wife to have cleaning help’! And if he can afford to give $700 a week without her going to work, good for him! He didnt ask you what you thought about his wife not working! He knows his wife is irresponsible financialy, therefore needing a budget, and that his wife needs the cleaning help (whether its justified or not that she needs/wants cleaning help is not for us to decide), which is included in the budget!
By the way, I work 1 and 1/2 jobs, have no cleaning help and have a few young children. I may not agree with how much and what the wife uses the money for, but that wasnt his question and its none of my business.
The question at the end of the OP was, “any thoughts?”, so all is fair game.
mochelli
why dont you tax her on that $700 and instead of giving it by the week give her $0.69 a minute thats really smart I spoke to my psychiatrist about this.
You have a serious problem on your hands. You need to consult professional help.
mochelli- most feminists out there are working to contribute financially. They understand the value of a dollar and how to balance a budget.
rebdoniel: “akeret habayit” means “foundation of the home.” To the best of my knowledge, “foundation” does not mean floor-scrubber or laundry-washer. There is no reason why a wife should not do this, but it doesn’t HAVE TO BE her job. Each scenario is different, and a wife is not necessarily a deficient one if she doesn’t clean the toilets.
I want to tell you something. If he is giving her $700 but that has to go for food, clothing, phone, bills and dental, then that is not very much at all.
always runs-
I doubt mochelli is abusive/ controlling. If he would be, he wouldn’t have cared enough abt the fact that his wife feels she isn’t getting enough money to start a thread about it. Does that sound right?
edited
Writersoul,
Without domestic duties being addressed, a home falls down quicker than a house of cards. The toilets don’t clean themselves, now, do they?
rebdoniel: Not cleaning a toilet won’t cause a home to fall down. I know someone personally who lived in a dirah for 2 years and never cleaned the toilet.
cleaning toilets is definitely a man’s job.
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