1) I think instant coffee takes too long to make
2) I go to sleep so I can wake up and smell the coffee
3) I’m the employee of the month at Starbucks and I don’t even work there
4) I go to the morning Kollel (actually it’s shachris in my shul) just for the free coffee
5) I have a picture of my coffee mug on my coffee mug
6) I spend every vacation visiting “maxwell house”
7) all my kids are named Joe
8) when someone asks me “how are you” I answer “good to the last drop”
9) my first aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an IV hookup (I really thought of this idea myself)
10) I have coffee flavored toothpaste
Kudos to the Jewish Home for the suggestions