How do you deal with negative people?

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Viewing 18 posts - 1 through 18 (of 18 total)
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  • #598878
    TheGoq
    Participant

    I have a co-worker who is always pessimistic and complaining she not only views the cup as being half empty but as being broken as well. My secret nickname for her is calamity jane.

    Various times throughout the workday she will call me and ask me to bring her something or do something for her she is never appreciative of what i do there is always something wrong with what i did for her, when i call her at home (relax she’s an elderly widow) its always some crisis or another either her house is falling apart, or her kids/grandkids are being disrespectful to her, or her car is breaking down you get the idea.

    It is very draining to deal with her what do you do with such a person?

    #801479
    adorable
    Participant

    disconnect. I always think (when people are that way) that they are not upset about me or being mean to me personally- they are the ones with the issues and thats it.

    #801480
    Hacham
    Member

    Have rachmanas. She’s an almana.

    #801481
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Her marital status has nothing to do with her outlook on life i am not the only one who feels this way you should see how her family treats her.

    #801482
    kapusta
    Participant

    I think you should form your own opinion. Even if you come to the same conclusion, it wont be based on the way you see others treat her.

    For some people even a little thing is a big deal. Think of any interaction with her as a therapist/patient relationship. Help her (even by listening) but leave it at that. Don’t take your work “home” with you and don’t let it get to you.

    *kapusta*

    #801483

    adorable- on the contrary. these negative people need ppl with a positive attitude to be there for them (to an extent), give them a listening ear, and comfort them, and basically try to make them see the positive even through what is seemingly negative. They might not want to hear of it in the beginning, but you never know who you will rub off on in the end. if you rub off on even one person like this, it will have been totally worth it! but like kapusta said, don’t let the situation of the person really get to you to the point where you are not properly functioning on what is important to you.

    #801484
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    I could lend you my humor, smile…

    #801485
    TheGoq
    Participant

    ty for the offer zees, but i have plenty of humor of my own, just getting tired of everything i do being inadequate one example she asked me to hang a sign on the bathroom door that people should close it after use i made the sign and then everytime that she sees it opens she says oh look the door is open you should have made the sign bigger! there is just no satisfying her.

    #801486
    adorable
    Participant

    I didnt say not to be nice to them and listen to them but i said not to take it to heart and be hurt by it. when he leaves her, he should be calm and not be hurt by her.

    #801487
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    Ask her if she wants it off. (the door)

    #801488
    kol daveed
    Member

    Goq –

    From reading your posts in this and other threads I know you’re an intelligent individual and you possess emunah. Who put this woman (and everyone else for that matter) in your world? HaKadosh Baruch Hu. Hashem acts for a reason and with purpose. It’s our goal us to figure out what that reason or purpose is and to respond appropriately. I’m certain you can reach the right conclusion and act accordingly.

    #801489
    TheGoq
    Participant

    zees i took the sign down this morning, kol daveed ty for your kind words

    #801490
    ZeesKite
    Participant

    No, ask her if she wants the door off.

    #801491
    a mamin
    Participant

    I would look at her and all her unwarranted comments like: NEBACH!!!

    #801492
    YoelYitzchak
    Member

    I decided a while ago that I would not allow the behavior of others to negatively affect how I behave.

    Personally, I feel sad for those who live like that so when dealing with someone who appears to be negative about everything, I’ll typically try to point out something positive.

    #801493
    WIY
    Member

    Pashas Chayei Sara: Sforno -Rivka, Not Even A Thank You “Vayehi Kaasher Kilu HaGmalim Lishtos Vayikach HaIsh Nezem Zahav” (Chayei Sara 24:22), after the camel finished drinking Eliezer gave Rivka jewelry. Why does the Torah point out that it was only after the camel finished drinking? Did Eliezer need to wait for the last sip before he knew Rivka was the right girl?

    The Sforno answers that until the camels didn’t finish drinking, Eliezer did not know if the girl would want something in return. Maybe she had ulterior motives. Only after the job was completed and Rivka didn’t ask for anything in return, not a even a compliment or a thank you, did Eliezer understand that she was a true Baalas Chesed. True Chesed is the love of helping others without the slightest sense of our own ego.

    From Revach.net

    #801494
    HaLeiVi
    Participant

    Prepare yourself beforehand, and it won’t hit you. If you speak to her often enough, you can inject little positive attitudes without knocking her point.

    #801495
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Thank you for posting that wiy but what is your point or comment?

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