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How many housewives/stay-at-home moms/homemakers do we have here? Share the beauty of the best and most natural job in the world with us!
I worked most of my married life. It was NOT our plan, it was not my choice and not my intention. It is what my husband wanted. I resented it.
desperate house fraus?
i stayed home with my kids till they were in school and then went back to work.
And who was home for your child when he and she got off the bus?
If I wasn’t home then they went to the neighbors. After my youngest was born I had a housekeeper.
Was the housekeeper taking care of the children alone a frum yid?
Pac-Man: no need to interrogate. Aries obviously considered the matter and made a suitable decision.
pacman- you seem to like interrogating people. i can tell you from personal experience…. I think you are just trying to get your point across and we get that…. she obviously thought about what works best for her and did that
Aries indicated she resented being forced to leave the home and go to work.
so what does that have to do with you!?!?!?!?
It has to do with housewives.
my DH would laugh if you called me a homemaker.
I worked for much of my married life. For my first 2 children it was veryy hard: from Flatbush, I took them by car svc,- an infant & toddler – to a babysitting service in BP, then took the express bus to Manhattan; did the reverse coming home.. for 2 weeks out of the month for a year or so. stayed home for a few years, then worked walking distance from my home when the younger two were already in school.
stopped working in 2001, but started babysitting full-time for my newborn grandson in 2004.. then another grandson.. then a granddaughter. retired again, lol, when she started school @ 2 1/2 y.o. this past Sept. but I still babysit as needed.. I have my 2 grandsons, 6 1/2 & 5 1/2 ka’h, over my house right now 🙂
I am a SAHM (stay at home mom) this year for the first time since I got married, and I am enjoying every second!!! I went to work from the day after sheva brachos until this year, taking off 6 weeks maternity leave when each of my kids were born. B”H I had a wonderful frum babysitter all the years for my babies and preschoolers after school, and was able to be home before my school aged kids got home from school. Despite this it was heart-wrenching, and the only thing that made it worth it for me was that I enabled my husband to learn in Kollel (and then work in chinuch). I often discussed with friends in a similar situation (i.e. husband is learning, we are not “being supported” by parents or the government but rather by us wives working) that when the seminaries discuss “mesiras nefesh for Torah” they should talk less about “histapkus bmuat” and the financial sacrifices, and more about the emotional difficulty of leaving your 6 week old baby with a babysitter!!!
Due to various factors I am finally at home with my kids this year (and hopefully next as well — and then we’ll see what happens. . .), and although somehow I am just as busy as I always was, it is such a great feeling to be there all the time for my kids and my home. Former co-workers and friends keep asking me if I’m “going crazy” yet! I really don’t feel any lack of intellectual stimulation at all, and what I am doing is so meaningful.
m in Israel~ so happy for you!! 🙂
my babysitting my grandchildren was cuz my daughter’s a full-time teacher & my son-in-law is still in Kollel (almost 8 yrs. now).
A shadchin once told me there are no girls who want to stay at home with kids so I shouldn’t even hope of finding it.
2qwerty
What?? Where did she get that from??
Pacman,
i must say that you sound aggressive! i am sure that she did what was best for her at that time and in her situation!
HT- that is what I told him before… thanks for being in it with me!
Pac-Man time to turn the tables.
Are you male or female?
What stage of life are you, married or single?
If married, married with kids or just starting out?
If married with kids, young kids or are you marrying them off?
If marrying them off are you a grandparent yet?
Just asking. And BTW “housewife is so yesterday, “homemaker” is the correct title.
Aries- I prefer “Akeres Habayis”. 🙂
OP, sorry I missed your 2nd sentence.
I LOVED being home with my children!!! playing, reading…
my 24 y.o. son still fondly remembers sitting on my ‘baby belly’ lap @ 2 1/2 y.o. watching ‘the mister who paints’ (Bob Ross) on tv. 🙂
if you are staying home to be with them and just watching TV why cant you have a babysitter?
adorable~ excuse me, but where did I say I was ‘JUST watching TV’?!
the line above says: ‘playing, reading…’ … saying that my young son & I watched one show that we both enjoyed, where someone creates a nature landscape in 1/2 hr., hardly precludes us doing many more activities together. in addition ‘baby belly’ implies I was pregnant. & why then, would it mean I should have a babysitter?!
mademoiselle, I’m sorry, but you presume too much.
hope I don’t sound harsh… 🙂
always here — thanks!! 🙂 I feel very lucky!
2qwerty — Wow! I certainly never heard that one before. I know many girls who would LOVE to stay home with their kids. However many are also pragmatic and realize that in today’s world it is unfortunately not always financially feasible. Even if your husband is not in Kollel or Chinuch, it is often difficult to manage on only one salary. If you have a plan to support your family without your wife working, I would think that the girls would be breaking down your door!
I was a SAHM for years and loved it. Now I’m a WAHM and still love being home with my kids.
Both my parents were fulltime workers simply a nessecity for yeshiva, food clothing etc.
In todays horrible economic times a wife MUST work especially if neither in laws are rich. Average NYS sallary is 30,000. Grils need to wake up and understand that if they want their children to have a yeshiva education plus all the nessecities two sallaries is a must
I very much disagree. The traditional home of a wife as a stay-at-home homemaker is very much viable and preferable. Understandably and unfortunately it is not always achievable, but it certainly should be every couple’s goal and ideal.
shlishi — Absolutely children are “inevitably hurt when their mother is not home for them full-time.” But they are also “inevitably hurt” if the stress levels are through the roof and there are Shalom Bayis issue due to being unable to pay the bills. Every couple must make a chesbon as to which scenario is the most beneficial, and there are no simple answers.
Additionally, many people may feel that although there obviously are drawbacks to a mother working, there may be other benefits for the kids that make it worth it. My husband and I made a conscious decision that the advantages my kids would receive by living in a home where my husband was zoche to learn Torah full time would be more than the disadvantages of being with a babysitter for many hours a day as babies. Had I not been able to find a frum caring babysitter who I was comfortable with, or had my job required me to not be home when my older kids got home from school, would I have made that same decision? Possibly not. The point is there are many factors in the decision for a woman to go to work.
At least let us realize what we lose when we cannot be at home so that we don’t delude ourselves into thinking it is natural.
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