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I had a baby 9 days ago and have been having frequent crying outbursts ever since. I have no explanation for them and they come with no warning. I’m not depressed and am functioning well between my outbursts. I think it’s part hormonal and part sleep deprivation (my daughter nurses every 2 hours, day and night), not feeling well (I managed to pick up bacterial pneumonia in the hospital and am on antibiotics but still feel lousy), and just the normal stress of adjusting to a new member of the family. I remember being emotional after my other births but not to this extent. Does anyone have any experience with this or any suggestions how to deal with it? My poor husband is usually the brunt of my tears even though he’s done nothing wrong, and I haven’t found a way to stop them. He doesn’t complain but I know it’s not easy on him.
no advice but its great that you are so aware and feel for your husband and not saying its too bad this is how i am in this stage in life. i know some ppl who do that and i think its mean!
wait a second
you are a woman, right?
and you are crying for no apparent reason, right?
my wife crys when she gets a sentimental printed greeting card.
if i have offended you please say so. thanks
and i hope someone can help
first of all Mazel tov!!!!! secondly is it possible it could be post partum depression? i dont know anything about that but ive heard of it.
mod- I was thinking that too. I cry all the time for no reason
Its hormones, and not your fault.
My wife cried during one recovery, but not by another.
Give it a week or two more, and you’ll be fine.
And Mazel tov!
Heartiest MazalTov to your new addition. May baby be a source of nachas and simchas for you.
I can’t believe all you are going through.
Your baby is 9 days old. Hard enough. Wakes up every 2 hours – hard enough and you have pneumonia on top of all this. Poor you. Remember it will get better!
If you are still feeling lousy – do you need other antibiotics? Have you been checked? Are you taking iron? Are you eating properly? Maybe you can go to a mother and baby home or have a nurse for a night or two so that you can sleep. Think and consider seriously how you can make your matzav easier.
Hatzlocho
-please, please get household help no matter what your finances are so that you can get some much needed sleep. This speeds recovery.
-have meals prepared for you & make sure you are eating healthily along with your vitamins
-baby blues are very normal. If it continues for a significantly longer time, then the significant hormonal changes after birth could trigger postpartum depression, a chemical imbalance (usually meds for a short time will cure that). PPD can happen for the first time after several births.
-get as much emotional support (in addition to the physical support) as much as possible. You’ve already reached out here & that’s a sign of your strength.
-remember that ?? ?? ?????
– keep a tehillim nearby so that when the tears come, u get a lot of extra ???
-wishing you a hearty ??? ??? & a ????? ????
If you’d like,keep us posted! We care!
okay
stop worrying, right now.
you are a woman
you cry from greeting cards
you are in the midst of tremendous and sudden change physically, emotionally, lifestyley, and every other way, and you wonder why you are crying now for no reason?
absolutely 100% normal and healthy, Mazel Tov!
Mazel Tov!!! Mazel Tov!!!
You should only have nachas from all your kids!!!
Mother in Israel:
Hi. And Mazel Tov!
Think of it this way: one who doesn’t cry, become moody etc. is not normal. Seriously! That’s the way HaShem made his world. ???? ???? ????, at birth time and all birth-related changes produce ??? which can be translated as depression/sadness/mood swings. I know exactly how it feels. You’re probably wondering if you’re ‘ still normal’, “where’s my old self” etc. PERFECTLY NORMAL!! ?? ?? ?????.
Might I suggest you use your abundance of tears for fellow sisters in the other thread: “Time to Daven for Childless Couples?”
(Aries-Sorry for stepping on your toes, you didn’t respond yet, I’m waiting for yours)
You are not alone, many people go through it survive it, and iy’h soon it will be over-Although it is hard to believe that anything will help, please try to follow the advice of eating healthily and getting vitamins. Enlist help, paid help, family help, schoolgirl help, whatever it takes, so that you can sleep when baby sleeps. Keep reminding yourself how normal this is and beg that your challenges should bring the geula, bring yeshuos for your family and for klal yisroel. Hashem knows how hard this is for you and will help you through it, just try to hang in there.
Mother in Israel – there’s not much more to be said than what the other posters have already said. Mazel Tov on your new addition. May you have lots of nachas from all your children. Remember you are not the only one to experience these feelings. It’s normal. It will go away. If you’re really worried, talk to your doctor. But given everything you said – having a baby 9 days ago, getting pneumonia, etc. I think it’s a normal reaction. Also accept any help offered to you – even ask for help. You do need your rest for your own sake as well as that of your family.
My first child was colicky – I was up 24/7 for the first few weeks. It was exhausting. Of course I cried – cuz i was so tired and weak. But i always kept in mind what a blessing it was to have a beautiful healthy child. Now my kids are grown – and Baruch Hashem they are wonderful. We now look forward to the next stage – weddings, grandchildren etc IY”H.
So – just remember – Gam Zeh Yaavor – the crying and feeling sick, I mean – The nachas should continue Ad Meah V’esrim.
Whenever you feel badly – just come to the cr so ur friends here can give you emotional support. It will help! (after all, this advise comes from someone from the LES – you know how great that is, your husband is from there) 🙂
Mother- I’m surprised you’re worried about your crying since this isn’t your first baby. U should know that this is completely normal. Your baby is 9, that’s NINE days old. You are lacking sleep and koach tremendously. Your hormones are flying. At 9 MONTHS I’d worry.
Just relax and try to get some sleep(yeah, I know…..)
And get your baby to start smiling so you’ll feel better!!
Mazel Tov and lots of Nachas.
show me a baby who smiles at nine days old & I’ll show you a gassy baby 🙂
Mazel tov on the birth of your precious baby, and refuah shelaima from your condition. You have not one but SEVERAL reasons to explain your tears. You ARE hormonal, your baby is demanding at this point, and you are ill, but getting insufficient rest. Have someone find a mother’s helper for you, so you can rest between feedings (money well-spent, or find a chessed student who needs the hours). The main thing is the resting. it will help with your recuperation both from childbirth AND pneumonia. Your husband or other family members need to step up to the plate if they have not already done so. If I am repeating what others have already posted a) we are all correct and b) I have not yet had the chance to read them all, but wanted to reply ASAP.
And I know it’s an old saw, but SLEEP WHEN THE BABY SLEEPS. DO NOT use that time to make calls, or catch up on laundry, cooking, etc. Your baby will not appreciate a mom who is exhausted, and if you are always exhausted, how can you optimally appreciate the miracle of your baby? If people ask how they can help you, ask them to watch the baby while you rest. I cannot say that more strongly.
When someone knows that they are not depressed and actually not upset, it helps to focus and realize that during an inadvertant cry. It can help to take off the spell of the cry, to view it as a body spasm rather than an emotional state.
this account, 501/25. Old HaLeiVi account, 212/2. I guess the new you is more controversial. Or the new mods.
its all about the hormones
speak to your doctor.
things could be out of whack and might need adjusting.
I will add just one thing. Let someone give the baby a relief bottle whether you pump it or give her formula, but allow yourself to get into a deep sleep and a long stretch of time. Just you and your pillow and no distractions from anyone. YOU need sleep, real sleep, not just rest, you need real, deep sleep. Mazel tov.
Please don’t waste your precious energy worrying! It’s perfectly normal for you to cry for no reason at this point. You gave birth only 9 days ago and had additional stress. Try to get as much help as possible. Don’t feel that you are imposing on people and don’t worry what people will think about you. Just save all your strength and energy for yourself and your family. Use this experience and try to arrange some sort of help system for other kimpeturins, when you are better, of course. Mazel tov & lots of nachas.
mazal tov. i hope you feel better soon. many of us have been there. speak to your doctor. don’t neglect yourself. first you have to be strong and healthy so you can be there for your children and youyr husbsnd. it sounds like you are just exhausted which alone can bring on tears. much nachas.
You write that you have no appetite; could you try to force yourself to at least drink enough?
Mazal tov! Idk the laws over there, but here you could be suing the hospital for giving you that infection. That would stop the tears! Also, give the baby a bottle overnite (someone else can feed), so you can put in 8 hours of sleep. Not to knock the other suggestions above, but sleep deprivation is usually the main cause.
MII
it seems that you are doing everything that you could be doing.
Perhaps you were feeling the ??? ??? stress.
There’s a beautiful Yehi Ratzon for ??? ??? in ??? ?????? ??????. Let me know if you don’t have it.
MII: I don’t have much to add to all the good advice above.
Just one thing – reassure your husband that this is both normal and temporary. This kind of thing can get husbands nervous – they worry that it might be the ‘new you’.
If he knows that it will soon pass, it will be easier for him to patiently wait it out.
Mazel Tov and look after yourself.
MII- years ago I had pneumonia with crazy chest pains, weakness, and I thought I can’t feel worse than that. Years later I gave birth to my first baby and felt so terrible, that I couldn’t imagine feeling worse than that.
Now, that you’re experiencing both together, I could so well understand why you’re crying:)
I hope that my understanding of your situation makes you feel somewhat better!
Refuah Shelaime and Oif Simchas!
a big mazel tov to you. may you have loads of nachas from all your children.
as others have mentioned, please get help. I am sure in your community they have chessed commitees for after birth which might mean meals, babysitting, errands. take whatever help is offered., even if you feel you might not need it.
It is very understandable that you are not feeling well. give yourself a few weeks. make things as simple as possible. ( paper plates, cups, )maybe you can find a young teenager to fold laundry 2x a week. these little things will make a huge difference. try to send the 2 yr. old out for a few hrs. in the morning. you really need the rest and quiet. you are not just getting over a birth but also a virus. wishing you all the best.
You’re normal all the way! Mazal tov! When I give birth I cry when someone looks at me or just says hello! Seriously,it’s so strange. My husband has no clue as to what causes that. One minute we are talking,the next I’m bawling! It usually lasts for 2 weeks for me. Purely hormonal. Good luck!
MiI -“The hospital is not to blame for the infection. They didn’t do anything to me to cause it. I was just lucky enough to pick it up there.”
Here you definitely can sue. The theory is if you got it while at the hospital, the hospital gave you that bug. Don’t forget microrganisms are invisible. I’m not saying they did it on purpose, just they probably gave it to you.
“My husband and my mother have both tried a few times but my stubborn little girl will eat only from me right now.”
Your kid is way too young to be only demanding to have you. Whomever should take the bottle and you go into another room to sleep. The kid will kvetch and won’t take. Put the kid down and wait. The kid will start screaming. Eventually the kid will be so exhausted- she will take the bottle. If you keep giving her your milk everytime she cries, she will never get used to a bottle.
MiI – I looked it up. The AAP recommends not giving a supplemental bottle till around 3 -4 weeks after delivery. The exception would be if illness causes you to have lack of energy or stamina to feed without interfering with your own recovery. I don’t know if this is the case by you. If and when you do decide to supplement, here are some pointers. Try to use something like a playtex nurser with a silicone nipple. The bottle should be held that the milk fills the neck of the bottle and covers the nipple. Stimulate the “rooting reflex” by stroking the nipple against the lower lip or cheek. Someone besides the mother should offer the bottle. This increases the likelihood that the baby will accept it. The mother should be out of sight of the baby. Once familiar with the bottle, the baby might take it in the mother’s presence, possibly even from the mother herself, but not for sure. If you want you can wean straight to a cup or you can go to a bottle first. If you go to the bottle, it should be offered at least once a week from the begining of the baby’s second month.
Now that we all know you are perfectly normal, if these feelings continue, call Sparks in New york. an excellent organization with the right advice!! mazel tov!!!
Now that we all know you are perfectly normal, if these feelings continue, call Sparks in New york. an excellent organization with the right advice!! mazel tov!!!
Health- most moms cannot follow books. We do what WE feel is best for the child. Yes, moms do know best.
i don’t know where you live, but maybe your community can arrange steady volunteer help, every day to give you a chanc to recover. someone i know had pneumonia after birth and because she couldn’t rest kept on relapsing and was readmitted to the hospital several times. i would cry too if i was as weak and exhausted as you are. i live in jerusalem and if you do too, i’d be happy to volunteer a few hours to give you a break. obviously only if that could be arranged through the moderators. hatslochoh, and hoping to hear that you are feeling better soon.
May you have a lot of yiddishi nachas from this one and from all your children. There is a vitamin called Glutamax from Maxi-health that is good for bronchitis. It is very expensive, but it works. Refuah Shelaimah.
smartcookie -“Health- most moms cannot follow books. We do what WE feel is best for the child. Yes, moms do know best.”
This is fine with me. You don’t have to follow professional medical advice. But I hope you practice what you preach and when your kid ch’vs gets sick you don’t run to the doctor with the kid.
Most people in the world do like to follow what medical professionals say -so they will appreciate what I posted above.
Are you also from the types who don’t give immunizations to your kid?
Health- I follow dr.s’ orders when I don’t know something myself. Yes, I give immunization because I as the mother feel it’s important. But when it comes to day to day things, we do what we understand. We know our babies best!
Yes, I put my newborns to sleep on their stomach :O
SC – You can pick and choose -it’s up to you. As long as you are aware of the consequences. Eg.- Putting babies to sleep on their bellies has a higher incidence of SIDS than if they are put on their backs. Therefore the medical profession says “Back to sleep”. Lots of people don’t wear seatbelts, even though it’s the law. Because they do what they want -doesn’t make it logical. But it’s no skin off my back! :@
Health- as a side note- I watched 2 different newborns recently laying on their back and choking while spitting up. They couldnt swallow and it was choking them. If i wouldnt realize in both incidents, Im scared to think of the consequences.
A person has to do Hishtadlus. As long as we’re not putting ourselves into danger(stomach sleeping isnt dangererous or crazy), then Hashem will watch us.
I really didnt want to hijack this thread, Sorry MII!
MII — Big Mazel Tov!!! As everyone said — you are completely normal. I am always teary eyed for weeks after a baby, and that is without illness! Please make sure to sleep, sleep, sleep!!! My advice as I was reading through the beginning of your thread was to take the baby to bed with you, but I see you’ve done that already! Don’t worry so much about what you will do to her — mothers have been co-sleeping with babies for generations, and for many women it leads to more sleep for both mom and baby. Use your sechel, avoid heavy blankets or excessive pillows, and relax. Also, maybe you can find a metapalet who has “drop off” hours available who can take your 2 year old for a few hours for a few mornings so you can sleep.
Health — The medical information you quoted actually contradicts your original post. The AAP recommends AGAINST supplementing with bottles in the early weeks, except when necessary. It is also not uncommon for young babies to refuse bottles (as you quote “this increases the likelihood that the baby will accept it”, meaning sometimes the baby does not accept it), while many babies who are exclusively nursed when young have no trouble switching to bottles between 2 and 4 months. A lot depends on the individual child’s personality and sucking habits. Your comments of “Your kid is way too young to be only demanding to have you” and “If you keep giving her your milk everytime she cries, she will never get used to a bottle” are not supported by the medical establishment — nor are they true in the experience of myself and many other nursing mothers who I know. I have also never heard the idea that an exhausted, starving baby will be more likely to accept a bottle then a calm one (” Eventually the kid will be so exhausted- she will take the bottle.”) It is more likely that eventually the baby will be so exhausted she’ll fall asleep — and wake up even more hungry after an hour! I usually enjoy all your medically sound posts, but it seems to be that this time you went with your personal feelings or perhaps experiences, without stopping to determine the current medical position on this issue.
umuchuh H-shem Elok-m dimuh may’al kul ponim.
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