Home › Forums › Family Matters › Help At Home
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February 9, 2009 6:55 pm at 6:55 pm #589355mazal77Participant
What are your thought on household help??
February 9, 2009 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #637461flatbush27Memberyichud problems arise sometimes, kashrus problems arise sometimes but if you can afford it and prevent the problems that can arise then why not if you need it. alot of people just cant do everything themselves especially if they work so household help definitely helps:)
what are your thoughts on this random topic mazal
February 9, 2009 7:11 pm at 7:11 pm #637462havesomeseichelMemberi guess it depends on the reasoning behind getting the help. Laziness or too busy or what… there are good and bad aspects to everything and why someone does something can be as important as what they do…
February 9, 2009 7:22 pm at 7:22 pm #637463SJSinNYCMemberI find the idea more stressful than anything else. My mother had a cleaning lady twice while we were growing up and both times the cleaning lady caused problems (one was stuffing paper towels in the toilet and causing a flood!). My grandparents got cleaning help as they got older and the cleaning help always stole from them (including a USED lipstick – how gross).
You need to supervise them! So if I am going to supervise someone cleaning, I might as well do it myself.
So, my house is not as clean as some because no, I dont have time to clean under the beds too often. Thats ok with me.
February 9, 2009 8:11 pm at 8:11 pm #637464teenMembereveryone should od it….but dont expect me to help 😛
February 9, 2009 8:26 pm at 8:26 pm #637465moish01Memberyeah i was thinking: get all the help in the world. that way your husband and kids don’t have to do it.
February 9, 2009 8:30 pm at 8:30 pm #637466myshadowMemberWhy not if you can afford it? who has time to clean?
February 9, 2009 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #637467mazal77ParticipantI started this thread, because the “what are you cooking for Shabbos” thread was heading in this direction.
I feel that sometimes help is necessary, when there is a Simcha and the extra pair of hands are needed, or C’V if there is in illness in the family, and the family are unable to cope with the demands of the household and to be there for the family members.
For myself, when I did have help, I just felt I could not take over and trust someone. I would be hovering over the help making sure, they were doing the job right.
I remember just having my first baby, it was a few days before Pesach, and instead of resting in bed, I was making sure the Day worker, was cleaning the kitchen properly. I am of the mind, that if you want something done right, then do it yourself.
Then there is the trust factor. I had housekeepers growing up, my mom had to work, and help in my father’s store and it was necessary. I remember when, I was little, I had a collection of pennies, I was saving till I had a dollars worth, to give the change to my dad’s store. I also had a foreign coin collection. Well the housekeeper put all my coins into one bag. On counting my pennies, I noticed, there some were missing. I also was missing some of my foreign coins. I told my parents. My father called the day worker and had me bring her purse. He emptied out her pocket book in front of her. There were my foreign coins and other missing household item. He promptly took her home. I don’t think my parents had help since that incidence. My mother started to stay home a little more often.
When I had my twins, friends pitched in and helped me get a day worker. Things started to disapper. My friend lent me a children’s DVD that went missing. Gifts that I knew I had received double of(for my twins) suddenly I only had singles of. Like blankets, my friend gave me, Each had a different appalique, and one of the blankets was no were to be found. I kept the gifts underneath the crib.
Even Food was stolen, and I figured out how she may have stolen things. I went to through out something in a garbage bag she was preparing to throw out, and discovered a frozen steak in the garbage. By pretending to “throw things out” She was able to smuggle things this way.
I really have a serious trust issue. Nevermind the stories of friends who tell me to lock up the Pushkas (Charitiy boxe) because they will get stolen. I understand to hide jewelry. I never knew I had to lock up the food too.
February 9, 2009 9:05 pm at 9:05 pm #637468WolfishMusingsParticipantWhat are your thought on household help??
I think every husband should help around the house. 🙂
The Wolf
February 9, 2009 9:12 pm at 9:12 pm #637469qwertyuiopMembermy parents have a russian(a little deaf) cleaning lady, who doesn’t really knnow how to clean.$
February 9, 2009 9:13 pm at 9:13 pm #637470JotharMemberHousehold help is great if:
1. you are around to supervise
2. you can communicate
If you’re not around to watch them, they WILL treif up your house, and they WILL steal if they can get away with it.
And this leads to another good point- babysitters. Many people have babysitters in their home all day. These are goyishe babysitters and nobody’s checking up on them. you can tell them all you want not to use the oven, but why should they listen if the chance of being caught is zero?
February 9, 2009 9:43 pm at 9:43 pm #637471mazal77Participantteen- For your own sake- I hope you were kidding with your above comment. Think of all the mitzvot you can gain by helping your family around the house. Helping around the home is very important. Especially as a young person, you don’t understand the pressures adults have to maintain a household and to be able to afford to pay for the bare neccessites in life. Shelter & food. By helping you can aleve the pressure off your parents/family.
February 9, 2009 9:44 pm at 9:44 pm #637472WolfishMusingsParticipantand they WILL steal if they can get away with it.
but why should they listen if the chance of being caught is zero?
Jothar,
It’s obvious that you believe that non-Jews are incapable of basic simple honesty. The fact of the matter is that you will find all types – from those who will disregard the rules to those who are scrupulously honest and will follow your instructions. It is terrible of you to paint everyone as dishonest with such a broad brush.
The Wolf
February 9, 2009 10:24 pm at 10:24 pm #637473JotharMemberWolfish, Chazal painted everyone with the broad brush when they said “Rubam begezel”. My current cleaning lady doesn’t steal. That doesn’t mean I don’t do a spot check when she’s gone. Shmiras mammon mitzvah ktzas.
February 9, 2009 10:42 pm at 10:42 pm #637474Itzik_sMemberBS”D
I am super machmir and burn my house down every Thursday night so the insurance company puts me up in a hotel for Shabbos. No need for a cleaning lady.
February 9, 2009 10:57 pm at 10:57 pm #637475mchemtobMemberjust like everything else household help should be obtained in moderation, they are there to clean not take your place. it sickens me when i see little kids being put on the bus in the morning poorly dressed ie: summer pants in the winter. and mom is at the gym. each person should be realistic of their capabilities and hire help accordingly and within budget, that being said gotta go i need to pay my day worker. lol!
February 10, 2009 1:18 am at 1:18 am #637479mazal77ParticipantI noticed one of friends, never calls them maids. She refers to them as housekeepers or dayworkers. I have since prefered not to refer to them as maids. They are people after all and believe it, or not they help some of you out. I prefer the hebrew term, “ozereth”, as they are helpers.
I have a question though about kashruth though. One of the problems I have about people having maids, is, one someone isn’t home, how do you know the housekeeper won’t make herself a cup of coffee and then use you meat spoons to mix it up?? or cutting a grilled cheese sandwich with a meat knife?? I don’t understand how someone can leave a Goy in their home and leave just like that. Yeah, they show you they know the difference between meat and milk when you are there, but why should the care what happens when your out of the home??
February 10, 2009 1:35 am at 1:35 am #637481oomisParticipantI wish I had cleaning help. I think if you can afford it, it can be very beneficial, especially in a two-income household. Some women are not particularly good balabustas, so it helps for them to have that extra help where needed. If both husband and wife are working full-time (or the husband is in Yeshivah all day), SOMEONE has to do the cleaning, the laundry, and ironing. Personally, I feel that in a two-income situation, if there is no hired cleaning help, the husband should be as responsible for household chores as the wife. They are BOTH coming home exhausted after a workday. It should not fall upon only the woman to do the work. Cleaning help is a good compromise, if it is affordable, even on a semi-regular basis.
February 10, 2009 2:12 am at 2:12 am #637483YW Moderator-72ParticipantWolfishMusings
Member
What are your thought on household help??
I think every husband should help around the house. 🙂
The Wolf
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if you are going to continue to go off topic, I will need to close this thread! :o)
February 10, 2009 2:13 am at 2:13 am #637484moish01Memberhey 72, when i saw you post on this thread i thought you were going to start on all the helpful things you did today for your wife…
February 10, 2009 2:21 am at 2:21 am #637485torahtzivaMemberhousehold help is good but not to much
February 10, 2009 2:28 am at 2:28 am #637487syriansephardiMemberMod 72 with all due respect how was the wolfs comment really off toppic?
it was a joke :o) YW Moderator-72
February 10, 2009 2:43 am at 2:43 am #637492an open bookParticipanti didnt know mods made jokes!
February 10, 2009 3:05 am at 3:05 am #637494asdfghjklParticipantmy family has 2 cleaning ladies!!! it’s awesome!!!!!!!!
February 10, 2009 3:20 am at 3:20 am #637496flatbush27Memberasdfghjkl: maybe some people here cant afford one cleaning lady and you are bragging about having 2.
February 10, 2009 3:23 am at 3:23 am #637497JosephParticipantare they Irish?
February 10, 2009 3:27 am at 3:27 am #637498syriansephardiMemberA4dfghjkl: I’m sure!!!!! :p
February 10, 2009 3:34 am at 3:34 am #637499beaconParticipantmy family has 2 cleaning ladies!!! it’s awesome!!!!!!!!
How about a butler? Chauffeur? Cook?
February 10, 2009 3:39 am at 3:39 am #637500mazal77ParticipantAsdf – seriously, don’t you ever help out at home, and no wise crack answers, like you help stay out of the way. The wheel of fortune turns around, you know.
February 10, 2009 4:07 am at 4:07 am #637501moish01Memberasdfghjkl, 2 housekeepers and you took out the garbage yesterday? they must be really lazy. we have one and i don’t ever have to do any of that stuff. thank god.
February 10, 2009 4:49 am at 4:49 am #637503Will HillParticipantWolfish: Always keep in mind the Chazal Jothar pointed out:
Rubam begezel
February 10, 2009 5:06 am at 5:06 am #637504asdfghjklParticipantJoseph: nope!!! mexican!!! good try pal!!!!
syriansephardi: oh yeah!!!
February 10, 2009 5:17 am at 5:17 am #637505asdfghjklParticipantflatbush27: sorry my apoliges to those that felt this as me bragging!!! i’m just kinda stating a fact!!!
beacon: ha!!! we do actually have a Chauffeur-more like my dad’s bodyguard!!! i really try not to take advantage of the chauffeur, i drive myself everywhere!!!
mazal77: i took out the garbage last night, & set the shobbos tabel this week & last week!!! my mother says i am kinda helpful!!!
February 10, 2009 5:20 am at 5:20 am #637506syriansephardiMemberFlatbush and EVERYONE: adfghjkl’s JOKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
February 10, 2009 5:27 am at 5:27 am #637507asdfghjklParticipantsyriansephardi: i’m serious!!!!!
February 10, 2009 5:37 am at 5:37 am #637508mazal77ParticipantMoish, what is wrong with taking out the trash.??? some great rabbis have done so.
February 10, 2009 5:39 am at 5:39 am #637510syriansephardiMemberAsdfghjkl are u my brother?!???!!
February 10, 2009 5:40 am at 5:40 am #637511moish01Memberand then they say i’m spoiled?
February 10, 2009 5:45 am at 5:45 am #637512syriansephardiMemberI agree with what moish said- if ya had 2 cleaning ladies u wouldn’t be takin the garbage out cuz we never do either with one!!!!! On second thought, yesterday was sunday, usually the live ins go off on sunday and the day workers don’t work on sunday.
And a4dfghjkl its not that I think there’s no way u can have 2, bc I no some ppl who even have 3!! But its just that somethin fishys goin on lol….
Mazal: I call it maids. I no ppl who don’t either but if its for the reasons that its not nice to say maids, I disagree!!!! That’s what they are!!! Maids!!! Its like not being able to call a doctor, a doctor!!!!!!! I’m very grateful for what the maids do but I don’t have to have such I guess the word is respect for them not to call the maids!! Many of u might think otherwise but this is how I think….
February 10, 2009 5:46 am at 5:46 am #637514mazal77ParticipantMods- your not doing your job of keeping the threads on their topic- :(. So long. I really wish you would delete some of the comments. You don’t have to post this, but I am disappointed. I try to stay on topic most of the time, and usually get edited. Just seems some others think it’s fun to get out of topic. I wanted this to be a helpful topic for some.
How is this thread off-topic? The topic is “help at home”. It doesn’t specify whether we should be doing the help or whether we should hire help. The discussion has turned to asdfghjkl’s claim of having 2 housekeepers which is on the topic of “help at home”. Do you disagree?
February 10, 2009 5:47 am at 5:47 am #637515asdfghjklParticipantsyriansephardi: not a chance!!!
February 10, 2009 5:47 am at 5:47 am #637516moish01Membermazal77, dunno – never tried it. jk i probably did once or twice. it’s just not one of my greatest aspirations in life but i guess if i had to i would.
February 10, 2009 5:48 am at 5:48 am #637517asdfghjklParticipantmoish01: ha!!! i’m not really that spoiled!!!
February 10, 2009 5:51 am at 5:51 am #637518asdfghjklParticipantsyriansephardi: why do you ask??? do u think i am????
February 10, 2009 5:56 am at 5:56 am #637519moish01Membersyriansephardi, you’re kidding, right? MAID?? my mom would FREAK if we tried calling her “the maid.” what a disgusting thing to call a person. unless you believe she’s not a person… are you one of those?
February 10, 2009 5:58 am at 5:58 am #637520asdfghjklParticipantsyriansephardi: i felt it would be nice to do it myself!!!! why do you say it’s fishy??? it’s 100% true!!!
February 10, 2009 5:58 am at 5:58 am #637521syriansephardiMemberMod no I don’t disagree!!!!
February 10, 2009 5:59 am at 5:59 am #637522mazal77Participantsyrian= All people are created in the image of Hashem. I think you lack respect for some people. You should really becareful with what you type.
February 10, 2009 6:03 am at 6:03 am #637523syriansephardiMemberAsdfghkl: u might be!!!!
Moish: he’s not that spoiled, he’s joking, believe me I know, I live with him!
February 10, 2009 6:03 am at 6:03 am #637524moish01Memberasdfghjkl, two “maids” is kinda much, don’t you think? what do they do all day?
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