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To many poeple are effected by bullying especially children….it can leave a long time effect…What can we do?..and …How can we stop it?
Teach your children to not be bullies.
good question arent you the psychologist?
Maybe we should teach the bullied kids to bully the bullies. Level the playing field.
(I’ll admit, at first when I wrote that I was joking, but it would actually help build up their confidence and mitigate the effects of being bullied. Though it would probably cause other problems.)
Meno – that would just make stuff worse.
For whom?
teach then self-defense in schools & to not be afraid to defend themselves or speak up to someone
YW Moderator-29 – for the bullies and people being bullied.
Sparkly,
I’m not so sure. Bullying leads to suicide. I’m not sure what’s worse than that. I agree my idea would lead to other problems, and it would certainly need some tweaking to find a good balance, but I don’t think it would make things worse.
Like I said, it would cause other problems, but it would likely solve the original problem. I believe a bully who is counter-bullied is less likely to be driven to suicide than one who is bullied without any recourse. I agree that nekama is a horrible thing to teach children. All I’m saying is that this would solve the original problem.
One thing that would help a lot is to raise awareness amongst teachers and parents so that they pay attention and notice bullying and try to do something about it, instead of just thinking “oh, that’s what kids are like.”
Also, there are things to teach your kids to do if they are being bullied. I heard a school psychologist speak about it once. I don’t remember everything but I think that one thing is to not let the bully think that he hurt you.
I read a great story about a boy who was bullied over 80 years ago. He was much younger than the other boys in his Yeshiva, so they made fun of him. They would put a stuffed animal in his bed at night to make fun of him for being so young. They would come back the next day expecting to see that he had thrown the stuffed animal on the floor in anger, but they would always find the stuffed animal in the made bed exactly where they had left it. They were spooked out – they thought he must be a malach who doesn’t sleep! They were so spooked out they stopped bullying him.
It turned out that he did go to sleep, but when he woke up, he would put the stuffed animal back so it looked like he hadn’t slept. This way, he showed them that they couldn’t affect him. The boy’s name was Aharon Leib Shteinman!
The moral of the story is that if you act like you are not affected by what the bully does, he will stop.
I think I agree with Sparkly that teaching the kid who is bullied to become a bully is a bad idea. There are better ways. I can’t remember everything this psychologist said, but I know that she had a lot of good ideas.
Kids have to be taught they won’t get attention from bullying other kids (even negative attention) once they see that, they won’t do it and instead find other ways for attention
Yup, what he says.
coffee addict – good point.
I think sometimes moving schools is best. You try various solutions (e.g. talking to parentsteachers) for a year or two, and in the meanwhile your kid goes to school every day to be humiliated and laughed at. Would any of us stay at a work place where they call you names and throw things at you?
People say he should learn to cope but sometimes they are just afraid his pride would get hurt by giving in. Well pride isn’t such a great thing anyway.
Person1 – homeschooling usually works well in these cases.
Switching schools is NOT the answer.
The school has not yet been founded which is guaranteed Bully-Free.
It sound like real, sound, practical advice. If the message would be in a better setting it would carry more weight. That’s the way it is, if one cares to look over their work, it shows the author put thought into it. I’m not c”v pointing it out for fun, I’m serious. And I beg your mechilah if I hurt your feelings.
Absen,
Very thorough
catch yourself – i agree. you NEED to talk to the principal and see what they can do.
absan:
What’s with all the ellipses?
absan:
Sure. I tried to read your post above, and whilst you seemed to make very good points, you do seem very fond of ellipses.
For the record, and I apologise sincerely if you already knew, this is an ellipsis: …
Taking into account … and .., you used ellipses 63 times in your post. And for me, and I really hope you don’t take this the wrong way, it made the post kind of difficult to read. Sorry, that’s all.
Well this past year in school we had a subject called methods and we learned in all bullying scenes there are three categories bully the victim and bystanders. We must empower the bystanders to stick up for what they believe in (like imagine if all the bystanders by the seudah of kamtza and bar kamtza would have stood up for the ehat they felt..) second you have to find out what’s going on by the bully at home that’s usually the problem and of course teach the victim how to defend or ignore
Mazel Tov to you HappyGirlyGirl for getting a newer viewpoint, attitude at life!! May you always be in this state of mind!!
absan – you prayed for what for me?
They posted my post day late…an sparkly he’s praying for the girls…chop?
Happygirlygirl – yes.
absan – what?
absan – i was asking what you meant by the last comment you posted.
Hello to you too.
You can’t be bullied unless you allow it. If it’s verbal you can ignore it or respond with a smart retort. The bully only enjoys seeing you in pain. If he can’t get that satisfaction he will move on to the next victim. If it is physical then you need to learn to block or dodge his kicks or punches. You will find he usually telegraphs his move so it’s easy. Kick him in the knee or ankle and he will topple over. Don’t worry about his friends, they wouldn’t come to his defense. Once you knock him down he wouldn’t bother you again.
Abba that isn’t for all king OF abuse
Abba_S – this is a friend thats not in my college. so you dont need to worry about that especially since that doesnt happen in a college.
Sparkly,
There’s no bullying in college?
you bet .We have one big bully.She always bugs in I mean always with her negative attitude.
Meno – no. its in and out. you dont talk to anyone in college for their to be any bullying. there all adults. adults dont bully one another at least i hope not. and if you do talk to people at college their usually nice, sweet people and thats how i made friends.
Sparkly,
That may be describe experience in college (and honestly, it was mine too),
but I don’t think it’s true for all cases.
meno – what do you mean?
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