Heels on Dates

It could be just a girl trying to get an opinion as to what guys like on first dates. She is probably not sure what to wear so she is saying in this way to remain anonamous and get feedback as to what is more acceptable heels/flats. who knows maybe her date is on here too.. some people are just too afraid to admit what’s really going on.. I don’t think she is trying to “play on other people’s buttons”, I think she just simply wanted anonamous feedback..

May you be matzliach in whatever you do. may you make the right decisions, and hashem should look watch over you and look after you every step of your way! May you find your Zivug bekorov!! Amen!!

Don’t worry about all these people bashing you. they are only bashing you because of their own personal expiriences/opinions and they have nothing against you! trust me. Don’t take it all to heart and Don’t be hurt.

Yes in my opinion heels are much nicer, but it sometimes does feel auckward dressing to impress rather than dressing for occasion, I know how you feel. Depending on what your guy is like, if he’s not so into dressing up he will not be attracted to a girl that is all dolled up, and if that’s not the way you really are don’t do it. because you will just be giving him a faulse impression of who you really are. what’s going to happen when you take off the mask and become who you really are????!! chas veshalom he won’t be attracted anymore..

the best way is to project over who your best self really is. and then you can then decide whether you will be lifelong mates and based on what you both REALLY are. You should also be comfortable the way you are dressed, if you are not it is much harder to have the confidence to bring y=out who you really are.

Much hatzlocha in this! I hope you do well!!!!

ayc,

here’s a real pun though

don’t look down because I think your going overboard with my puns

i didn’t know fish needed laughter too (sole)

JIB,

this was ur original post

I am 6 feet and the girl I am dating is 5’3. We went on a first date on Thursday and she showed up in flats!! If she was just a drop shorter than me I would understand but come on there was a 9 inch height difference and she clearly knew that cuz my height is on my resume. I was really upset because I felt that at least on a first date the girl should put on nice heels. I took the time to shower, shave, brush my teeth get my suit dry cleaned, shine my shoes and put my hat on. I asked my rav and he said that although he sees my point I should give the girl a second shot. I don’t feel like it is right to go on a second date when I clearly am uninterested. When I am a married man I want to be proud of how my wife looks. I don’t think I am being so crazy – many of my friends agree with me.

all you stated was that she’s short and didn’t bother to wear heels, not that she wasn’t dressed appropriately for the occasion

i hear your taanos. but in the real world your expectations are retarded. the first time shes too tired to put on makeup or her head hurts so no shaitel what are you gonna do? Divorce her? base your marriage on things that count. demanding heels is nuts. and theyre uncomfortable.

I think what bothered him was that he felt she did not take time to put herself together for her maybe husband….

Gosh the influence of YWN CR is far reaching indeed! Right over in rainy old England

Just opened door to a lovely girl back from a date in stockinged feet, she had been struggling with a pair of heels and eventually had to take them off ! the sweet boy who took her out, kindly lent her his little sister’s sneakers which were sitting in a sports bag in the back of his mother’s car. Great ice breaker !

So did i! But there she stood and as he has called again I think it went off rather well. A lot of girls suffer for fashion and image, real class comes from within! Forget the heels and look at the smile

tahini; What would’ve been funny, is if you would’ve suggested to the op, and his friends of similar fantasy, to borrow a few nice pairs of heels from their sisters (maybe different sizes)

and keep it in their trunk.

So like this when she walks into the car instead of saying in his head, “sorry it’s over” he should say “hey lets try this again”.

why don’t you go out back, while I pop the trunk, and see if you can’t find something to wear that would warrant me considering

you worthy of my time.

This is not me talking, That’s me, explaining how ridiculous

this not wearing heels on a 1st date is a strike out.

First of all, I see that the opening post is 4 years old. Would the opening poster like to give us a status report on his dating? And if he is married, please be sure to report on your wife’s height. And if he is not, do you think that you are too fussy about women’s shoes, or height?

What struck me about the opening post is that the poster reported that he showered, brushed his teeth and put on clean clothes and a hat for his date. I thought nearly all of us do that every day, without creating an obligation on women to wear heels.

High heels are dangerous for women’s feet.

It may have been said previously (forgive me), but I dated a LOT of heels in my time, until I met my “sole”-mate.

High heels have other uses too. The heel can be used to conceal a weapon, with which the girl can threaten the boy if she doesn’t like him.

I’m 5’5″ and I always wear heels on dates. generally the guys are still a good few inches taller than me, and I’ve never dated a guy that felt uncomfortable about my heels!

If I wore heels, my wife would refuse to leave the house with me.

If I wore heels, my wife would refuse to leave the house with me.

Thanks for the laugh!

Joseph: through the shadchan- if the boy was stupid enough to make a comment about such an issue.

Then again, I’ve heard similar stories: my friend’s mother told me that after one of her daughters went out on her 6th date, she heard back from the other side that her daughter should get her makeup professionally done before each date. (This is a VERY pretty girl who does her makeup extremely tastefully.) She said no and ran. She did not tell her daughter what had happened, just that it didn’t work out. B’H her daughter met the right one shortly afterward, and the mother then told her daughter what had happened with the previous shidduch.

(The boy was also unhappy that she read the biography of Eleanor Roosevelt, but that was a different story…)

I agree with my friend’s mother on that one- it’s chutzpah. However, from the words of the OP of how “classy” a guy he is, he would probably agree with the boy.

If a boy is unhappy with the daggers in his date’s shoes, he usually screams something along the lines of “yaaah don’t kill me”.

Joseph- I actually agree with you on that one.

Endearing or not endearing such feedback is inappropriate due to propriety and lack of modesty.

I agree that it is inappropriate for the boy to comment, but not for the same reason. It is just unmenschlech poor manners to comment negatively about her appearance to someone (likewise, for the girl to comment about HIS appearance). There will always come along another young man who likes her wearing those shoes.

BTW, I personally detest the spike heel look. It’s not pretty IMO, it’s totally awful for the Achilles tendon AND sacroiliac, and lethal during simcha dancing at a chasunah. I do like the look of some type of dressy heel, but up to two inches can give that pretty look without being outrageous. Just an observation…

Try wearing a pair of heels for 5 hours then maybe you’ll understand why she wouldn’t want to wear them. If you’re looking for only how the girl dresses and no heels are a deal breaker, maybe you should re-evaluate your values!