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so heres the reason why i think u shoudlnt date her again, if all u could focus on during tht date was that she wasnt wearing heels.. u didnt see past it and see if she has gr8 middos or is funny or just a really good person, if all u could see was the exterior then i dont think u 2 would make a good match. obviously she isnt interested in being in2 the latest fashions and getting all dolled up to impress a guy and obviously u need a girl that will..
Yoish – popa – that sounds mean. we would never do that. but anyway i hope you can forgive him/her too, cuz it is Elul.
also there’s a cubs vs. pirates game today if ur interested in going.
workinonit – so true!
“All I’m asking for is that girl have a little self respect and put on a nice dress and heels for her potential husband.” YOU equate self-respect with wearing heels??????? You need to have a long talk with your rebbe.
Aishes Chayil, is that all you got out of my post? That no girl will say No to a tall boy? Where are YOUR smarts??????? Obviously everything else has to check out as well. Anyone with any smarts understood that. I’m surprised such a post got through, but don’t worry. I’m moichel you for your foolish comment or dig whichever it was. After all it is Elul right Aishes Chayil??#@!^&
That has got to be the most masochistic,shallowest thing i have ever heard. “im a guy, so i care about looks” – well girls care about looks too and what if the girl was thinking- you know what? this guy wasnt wearing the latest style suit-im a girl and i care about looks and i dont want people thinking oh look what a shlump shes going out with. Your priorities are a tad mixed up.
You know what, I take back my post from before. All I have to say is- ga’ava.
I find it bazar. I’m 5’9 and went out with a 6 foot boy, wore heals had a great time. The second date, I wore flats and he told me he like the flats better, so I ditched the heals and stuck with flats for our dates. Everyone has their own preference.
The OP sounds like a heel himself…”
Funny, I almost posted that, but thought it sounded harsh. So what I really WAS going to post, and now will, is that the only heels a guy should be concerned with on a date are the ones that HE should not be.
JIB; So I guess you’re happy you got some people all worked up on this thread.
Your OP is misleading, there you write a confusing rant about how ur tall, and if she was aware & didn’t have the decency to bridge the gap. That seems to be the point. Then from your later post, it seems that it wasn’t a principle issue, you’re just really into heels, and if a girl doesn’t wear them she is a shlump.
You didn’t indicate in your OP that she wasn’t wearing a nice dress, iow, she wasn’t dressed nicely.
quoting you “I’m asking for is that girl have a little self respect and put on a nice dress and heels for her potential husband.”
So what is it? Is it that she didn’t dress up nicely at all?
or only that she breached your 1st date unspoken lovely heels contract.
If it’s just the heels, tell her on the 2nd date how you absolutely love heels and consider anyone not wearing them, under-dressed or shlumpy. Don’t scare the rest of B’nos Yisroel into thinking it’s mandatory to wear heels on a 1st date or all dates, even when your hiking, or skiing.
I hope you don’t expect your future wife to wake up in the morning wearing a dress, makeup, her shaitel, jewelry, and heels.
JIB; I’m on your side, i’m trying to help you see how ridiculous it sounds. 🙂
Its almost funny that you people don’t see that he is trying to push your buttons. Folks: There are many people on the internet who get a sick pleasure out of stirring up other peoples emotions and getting them all bent out of shape. Its a very disgusting and cruel thing to do but these people don’t usually care. Just be aware that every forum attracts such characters so be on the lookout for them before getting yourself all emotionally invested in your comments.
Time wounds all heels.
It may be an acceptable practice for other forums, but this behavior does not belong in Yiddishkeit at all.
And in Elul.
AYC THANKS
I am stating a fact. Obviously it doesn’t belong in Yiddishkiet. Do you want a list of things that have found its way into Yiddishkiet and don’t belong?
I was actually agreeing with you here, WIY(would you believe?), and it was a well written post.
AYC
Thanks. Should I be shocked that you agree with me?
WIY
Apparently.
It’s positively shocking.
Everyone sees the light eventually.
WIY; unless they’re “head over heels!” 😉
Joseph I really hope this is a joke. If not, I think you should let the girl know that you were considering dumping her because she did not wear heels. I will guarantee you that once she knows that she will dump you and run as far away from you as her flat wearing legs can carry her.
Some girls like flats. Heels hurt and they are unsteady and feel like they might trip. Let her be. Go out again and have a great time!!
Collegegrad: I love it!!
LOL did anyone fall for this?
Foot binding and stilts are in over at Creedmoor this year.
JIB-I agree with you.
Its not the heels that make or break a shidduch. It’s the type of girl who doesnt bother with heels on a first date is simply not the type of girl he is looking for. She is just to “simple” for him; he is looking for a more “ditzy” type.
Why is this so hard for all you posters to understand?!
I am not saying that simplicity is bad, its actually a wonderful trait; but its not for JIB!
Can you understand that a girl who doesnt wear makeup is not for every boy? I think we all can. This is the exact same. Would you prefer that he marries a simple girl and never finds her attractive? Its not the heels, its the fact that she is more the simplistic type who doesnt bother wearing heels.
…..just to clarify.
This doesnt mean that you shouldnt give it a second shot and see if this girl possibly is the one despite the issue…
Just saying that you are not crazy as all the posters (presumably females, who dont wear heels :-))seem to think………
personally I don’t get the point of giving up comfort just for looks (you try cramming your foot in something really small then walking tiptoed)
WOW. I cant believe this. Its especially funny from the guys point of view. But I really never realized there is something so bad with wearing nice looking flats. Yeshivishhask, just to clarify, cool and stylish people wear flats too–its not just the simple ones. I see plenty of girls who dress very nicely with flats and I think they look just as nice as someone with heels.
Attention: to all those guys who are looking to date girls wearing 3 inch heels, do not come knocking on my door!!
who here thinks that heels are tzniusdik?
i think they are not. they make the womans leg look fore attractive.
the shoes with heels are usually more modern and stylish as well.
think about it, he knew her height to start with. does size really matter?
if he was not happy with her size, why did he agree to date # 1.
i wish her a lot of luck based on his post
it happens to be, i almost always wore heels on dates unless we were doing something super casual like six flags and then id wear flip flops or sneakers….maybe she wore flats cause her feet hurt or she didnt know if u guys would be taking a walk on the board walk or wtvr….i think if u break it off for that alone ur not ready to be dating because that is extremely petty and u prob dont deserve her, thats just my humble opinion….i mean if she wore something not tznius or she was dirty or smelled funny that i could understand, but flats come on….u knew she was 5’3 when u agreed to go out with her, dont be foolish…
It’s whats behind the heels that I am looking for.
So lets be realistic here. If you’re not willing to compromise on her dress (to the extent of her not wearing heels on a first date!), you’re not looking for a wife, you’re looking for a trophy to show off to your friends. Good luck with marriage, pal.
who here thinks that heels are tzniusdik?
i think they are not.
Wow, theres someone else who agrees with me!
Assuming this is not a troll OP, the Rov made a mistake. He should have spared the poor girl from having to go out again with someone whose priorities are upside down, literally.
Dear yeshiva boy, you marry the head and not the foot. Get help.
Kapusta,
now you got me to laugh
I agree on both points
The blue shirt is a bad comparison. The color of the shirt represents a certain Hashkafah in yiddishkeit (people from yeshiva gedola, Mir, Chaim Berlin would not wear one, while someone with more relaxed standards might) whereas, heels vs. flats represents a focus on materialistic externalities. You’re right. This girl probably isn’t for you. You need the girl who really focuses on similar things. I only hope you are earning a VERY good living, because it’s likely that the girl you’ll wind up with will drain your pockets silly shopping! I think you should tell the shadchanim that heels are a non-negotiable, if that’s how you feel. The girl might wind up making the decision for you.
I asked my rav and he said that…………….
many of my friends agree with me……………
hmmmmm. didn’t shlomo hamelech’s son have a similar situation, where his friends said one thing, and his rebbeim something else? i forget, what did he do, and what happened as a result?
see if you can recall.
other than that one point, thread is a waste of time. her heel broke 5 min before you came, so she slipped on flats.(maybe; right?)
Kapusta,
Now its a chazaka
When I met my wife, she was shorter in height than my preference, but was longer in kindness and personality than I could have wished. Tomorrow will be our second anniversary and the only time height is ever an issue is when it comes to retrieviNg things from high shelves.
am i the only one who feels disgusted knowing there are guys out there who care more about the shoes on my feet than the brains i have in my head, the personality that makes me “me” and the middos that make me a bas yisroel? i LUV wearing heels. i’m 5’2″. SHORT and proud of it. i wear heels when i can. wedges too. but i’m realistic too. i have to pamper my feet NOW so i have them LATER. so do i wear flats? yes i do. so to all the guys who want trophy wives, dont come knocking on my door. (and all u guys wearing blue[colored] shirts, navy suits, knitted yarmulkes, and/or no hat, now i know how you feel when girls want black and white only.)
“Assuming this is not a troll OP, the Rov made a mistake. He should have spared the poor girl from having to go out again with someone whose priorities are upside down, literally.
Dear yeshiva boy, you marry the head and not the foot. Get help.”
Well said, well said.
You’re shallower than she is short. Maybe that’ll even out the height difference.
taking a break,
2 points for you!
taking a break, I’m with you! Well said. From one shorty to another 🙂 (and I’m even shorter than you).
ronsr, Mazel Tov to you! Many more happy years together with your shorty:). May she heighten you with a very lovely family and great kids. I’m short, I love myself;), especially in flats. B”H no objections from family members.
ronrsr,
ditto
my wife is a foot shorter than me
I am five feet, zero inches and don’t wear a heel more than one inch high for anybody – and I mean anybody. My back hollers “no” when I try to wear anything higher and my comfort and health are more important than somebody else’s notion of what is and isn’t correct. Personally, I think the OP is definitely a troll, but on off chance that he isn’t, I hope that he decides to take this girl out again and that the shadchan says “sorry, she isn’t interested.” You will end up settling for an empty headed fashionista if shoes are such an important issue for you. Perhaps you should be going to fashion shows and chatting up the runway models because they are usually over 5’10” tall. It seems difficult to believe that you would even discuss what your date was wearing with your Rov. As long as she was neat and clean, that should be all that counts. You are supposed to get to know the person that she is not the outer trappings of her clothing. Did you make any effort to get to know her or were you too busy trying to figure out is her Coach handbag was a knockoff or if her sweater had a Ralph Lauren label inside it. You appear to be a very superficial person with a superiority complex.
This Is my last post in this thread, at first I though the op sincerely wanted guidance or support for his opinion (if not to get a whole bunch of ppl worked up)
Now I can why some of the so many single guys, are still single.
I can also understand why there are so many single girls out there,
they deserve better. As a guy who IS a little picky,
I am ashamed at the extent to which some guys have taken this “less boys than girls” so let us sit around and dream up ridiculous reasons as to why to turn down girls.
I honestly think you should stick to your guns and say NO.
No good jewish girl deserves this baloney.
Flats are just as dressy as heels today, even more hip and popular. If you need a girl that still wears high heels all the time, special order from 1970, go date a girl from Williamsburg.
Coffee: I was not going to post in such a random thread as this one, but you unwittingly brought me a smile when you wrote “heels are not m’akev”. True. They are m’ekev! (yado ochezes ba’akev esov…).
To the OP: Dont worry about your height differences. The way you obviously lead your wife, I mean life, she will bring you to your knees and then you’ll be on the same level anyways! ☺
Just curious…. Williamsburg girls wear heels? I too have a few guys wanting a tall girl. (meaning tall heels).
thank you,
I’m glad I unwittingly made a pun
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