Half a Cow

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  • #590065
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    Non-Jewish people I know can purchase the meat from half a cow and its much cheaper. Are there any known kosher butchers that do that?

    Obviously, it would be from kosher cuts of meat 🙂

    #651809

    SJSinNYC-

    “Don’t halve a cow, man.”

    (If I had a conscience it would be feeling very guilty after that. Fortunately, I don’t).

    #651810
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    LOL ICOT. That was worth it 🙂

    #651811

    ames-

    SJSinNYC-

    Thank you.

    Since it’s now the nine days, tonight’s question is “when will we meat again?”

    Sorry – I just can’t resist sometimes.

    Gut chodesh.

    #651812

    How did the transcendental cow meditate?

    “oooooooooooooooooooM”

    #651813
    yossi z.
    Member

    icot are you in a mooood because of the nine days or are you usually like this?

    #651814
    squeak
    Participant

    There is a cow sale in Jerusalem, at the base of the Temple Mount.

    #651815
    yossi z.
    Member

    SJSinNYC: in all seriousness i don’t think so being that what we jews pay extra for is the hashgacha not necessarily the meat

    hope it helps

    yossi z.

    #651816
    mdlevine
    Member

    I have neighbors that do this, or so one of my kids told me that they do. I think they have someone else who buys the other half. If I am not mistaken, they get it from Baltimore. I will try to get details for you.

    #651817
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    Thanks md!

    #651818
    oomis
    Participant

    ICOT, you are too funny! In fact, you could steak a claim in the YWN Coffee Room, and milk this for all its worth. Now, mooo-ve over and let a pro-punster have some space beef-ore I call in the Moo-derators. I am ox-ing you nicely…

    #651819
    yossi z.
    Member

    oomis: too much! slow down! my gut can’t keep up! lol 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

    #651820
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    LOL Oomis 🙂

    #651821
    oomis
    Participant

    oomis: too much! slow down! my gut can’t keep up! lol 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Aww, ‘twern’t nothin’. You should see me when I am really in the zone! My family disowns me, and my friends make believe they don’t know me. Yes, I am THAT corny…

    #651823

    oomis1105-

    Excellent!

    You’re the champ.

    #651824
    oomis
    Participant

    ::::bowing modestly, of course:::: Why, thank you!

    #651825
    Dr Bert Miller
    Participant

    Grade A Prime!

    #651826
    Jax
    Member

    holy cow you guys are a riot here!

    #651827
    FunnyBunny
    Member

    oomis i havent laughed so hard in a while- that was corny but good.

    #651828
    The Wolf
    Member

    oomis1105 – How long will it take you to loin your lesson? This dialogue shows you are not all that cleaver. Will someone need to meat you in person before you stop this lack of humor? This is getting veal-ly bad. Perhaps we should raise the steaks here.

    Time for me to leave now, on my cow-asaki moo-tercycle

    The Other Wolf

    #651829
    Joseph
    Participant

    The Wolf: Did you maul WolfishMusings?

    #651830
    The Wolf
    Member

    I did not do so sir. This name is was chosen to pay homage to his wonderful insight.

    The Other Wolf

    #651833
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    This name is was chosen to pay homage to his wonderful insight.

    Thank you for the compliment, sir. 🙂

    The Wolf

    #651834
    oomis
    Participant

    “oomis1105 – How long will it take you to loin your lesson? This dialogue shows you are not all that cleaver. Will someone need to meat you in person before you stop this lack of humor? This is getting veal-ly bad. Perhaps we should raise the steaks here.

    Time for me to leave now, on my cow-asaki moo-tercycle”

    Wolf, your challenging words have moo-ved meat-oo respond. I have no beef with you, but I will not allow you to rib me. Why don’t we just lay our deckle of cards on the table and admit that neither of us can be the wiener of this contest. By the way, you veal-y butchered the English language, but that’s ok,it’s only the first (ground) round. I await your response – if you’re not too chicken… 😉

    Note to self: It seems weird to be doing all this meaty discussion during The Nine Days…

    #651835
    FunnyBunny
    Member

    “This is getting veal-ly bad”

    Actually oomis that was veally quite good

    #651836
    The Wolf
    Member

    Just when I thought this could not get any wurst. You come out any try to skewer me, perhaps a switch to de-calf will calm things down on both ends. Then we can play a game of moo-nopoly or maybe moo-sical chairs. Failing to switch to de-calf will unfortunately lead to udder chaos.

    I do not know what is beef-itting of someone of your caliber. Perhaps I shall be calf-ful in the future as to who I pun with. I looks like I am done, you are probably a cutlet above the rest.

    The Other Wolf

    #651837
    oomis
    Participant

    you are probably a cutlet above the rest.”

    THAT is so funny – you may not be a be-liver, but I was going to use that same expression in my first reply to you! That is almoost moo-raculous! And that’s no bologna. I am not trying to duck the issue. (Now I feel a little sheepish).

    #651838
    yossi z.
    Member

    garsh i can read this stuff over and over again (for a while) whenever i have a really bad day! 🙂

    #651839
    oomis
    Participant

    My work here is done ::::eyes downcast modestly::::

    #651840
    yossi z.
    Member

    nooooooooo!!!!! 🙂

    #651843

    SJSinNYC-

    I emailed some info for you to “YW Moderator-72”.

    Hopefully, your registered email address is one he can forward the info to.

    The Wolf-

    Please knock it off.

    #651844
    just me
    Participant

    I have to say a hadama bracha here–it is so corny! I LOVE it.

    Many, many years ago, my parents used to buy half a cow from Rubashkin. Obviously it was half of the kosher end of the cow. I’m sure if you asked the bucher stores that are really butcher stores (as opposed to places like the Kollel store that just sell meat) they could do it for you.

    Sorry I am not so punny like all the other wits here. Hmmm. Half of you then would be half-wits, no? Sorry.

    #651845
    oomis
    Participant

    Try to get a friend to share the cow with you. You can meat somewhere in the middle.

    (OK, I couldn’t resist).

    On a serious note, why do our butchers not treiber, so that most of the cow could be eaten? It seems such a waste of what I am told is really delicious meat.

    #651846
    just me
    Participant

    In America, the work generally costs more that items are worth. To treiber the meat is a skill. Rabbi Yisroel Belsky, shlita used to treiber deer meat for a company. Kosher deer meat was so expencive that it was worth the cost to treiber. I’m told that he was given a couple of back ends during the summer to practice on to be able to do it neat enough that the meat could still be sold. He was told that he could do what ever he wanted with those pieces. He showed the boys of his masmidim group in Camp Aguda how to trieber and then they grilled the meat to kasher it and ate venison for a few dinners.

    #651847
    oomis
    Participant

    But if treibering is not done, won’t that skill eventually be completely lost?

    #651848
    kapusta
    Participant

    You’re cooking up really juicy conversation here. 😉

    *kapusta*

    #651849
    just me
    Participant

    Oomis, I’m sure meat is treibert in countries where food cost more than labor.

    #651850
    oomis
    Participant

    I know we don’t treiber here, but it’s a shame. The meat from the end of the cow is supposedly much softer, because the hindquarters are more tender due to those muscles working less strenuously than the front quarters .

    #651851
    YW Moderator-72
    Participant

    SJSinNYC, if you are interested, please send me an email. I may have some information that can help you.

    [email protected]

    #651852
    just me
    Participant

    PEOPLE!! It’s the 9 days! This line DOESN’T smell fishy to me! Oomis, can you come up with fishy puns? I trout and I trout but I couldn’t.

    #651854
    The Wolf
    Member

    This is a challenge I just cod not refuse. There is a lox of potentially fishy puns which he have now added to the pool. No perch-asable book will contain the bad puns we are about to come up with. Once in a whale a good one will pop up, but mostly your mussels will ache from the bad jokes.

    Bass-ically I am continuing this for the halibut.

    I am waiting for someone to throw in a ‘Red herring’ to divert the conversation from fish puns.

    Sadly, it is only a matter of time before this thread gets deep fried. The mods have probably already been batter-ed with too many puns. Some probably already have a terrible haddock from all of this. However, I find them fin-tastic!

    oomis please don’t get all shellfish. Trying to top me is the impossible bream. Know what your seal-ing is and work with it. If you try hard enough, you can clam second, eel-y

    The Other Wolf

    #651855
    SJSinNYC
    Member

    Thank for sending information! I really appreciate it.

    Do we allow references to non kosher fish?? It is the 9 days after all 🙂

    I’m enjoying where this thread is going LOL.

    #651856
    The Wolf
    Member

    I was eel-y eel-y trying too hard at the end. I wish someone had not left me to flounder like that.

    The Other Wolf

    #651857
    oomis
    Participant

    Wolf – I was reel-y delighted to sea all these puns. They were listed so e-fish-ently. Whale, I tried and tried to come up with some-fin new to talk about, but I just cod-n’t think of any-fin at eel. The bass-t advice I can give you, is to trout for the debate team. There might be a ray of hope there. Let’s see how many puns we can come up with pirhana-um. This thread is very cute. It isn’t just a lucky fluke. Salmon chanted evening, we must talk about this further. I’ll invite my piano tuna to join in the discussion. He has netting better to do.

    #651858

    SJSinNYC-

    #651859
    The Wolf
    Member

    I batter eat a good breakfast if I want to beet oomis. I’m gonna need lots of fruits and veggies, as well as some other foods. Like a hard boiled egg I’m gonna be hard to beat. To many people the though of facing me in such a challenge is like the naked banana, not very appealing.

    What to eat to clam victory? Bakery buns usually get me on a roll. I guess it would be wise to eat a latte them. I am on a diet, but a waste is a terrible thing to mind. If I actually followed my diet, i’d be up for the Nobelly Prize. Eh, I can always quit tomorrow cold turkey. (I hope that is not just my pita-rnal instincts talking).

    But the key is getting me to properly espresso myself. I don’t want to come off as someone who is pasta his prime. I want to be viewed as a mushroom, one of high morel standing. Being that you, oomis, are like yogurt (cultured) there is no little margarine for error. Last thyme you were butter than me and I was toast. This thyme I must proceed dill-icately as you have the ability to be a-maize-ing. In fact I relish the fact that I’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to you.

    Almond joying myself in this thread oomis, but I’d like to make a piece offering, if that is the way of pudding it. Offer me amixture of basil, olive oil, garlic, and ground pine nuts. Suddenly we’ll became pesto friends.

    #651860
    oomis
    Participant

    it was time for some squid-pro-quo.

    GOOD ONE!!!!!!!!!

    #651861
    oomis
    Participant

    Dear Wolf,

    I bow to your punderful sense of hummus. I take panini hand and o-fish-ely admit you did a butter job than I. Now let’s live, laugh, and be merry, for tomorrow we may diet.

    #651862
    seeallsides
    Participant

    you guys are unbelievable!!!! congratulations for the punniest!!! How about you help me with my PURIM puns!

    #651863

    The Wolf-

    oomis1105-

    Very good!

    Why don’t you exercise your punctuation skills here:

    http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/fun-words

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