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Ilove- everyone is entitled to get married and everyone should get married. But marriage should only happen after a person is mature, worked on their Middos,(which also continues after married), and if they need professional help, they should get it.
Otherwise, if one of those details are missing, the person is putting his marriage up for failure and will very possibly ruin a family.
shlishi,
Once we’ve agreed that Chaza”l’s position is not universal, we can discuss who is or isn’t excluded. I happen to agree that some people misapply it, but some people really will only make another person suffer if they marry.
ilovetheholyland,
Who says that Chaza”l (Sotah 2a, BTW) applies to everyone? Maybe it only applies to those who do have a “bashert”?
It is also apparent in some of the meforshim that one can, through his choices, follow a path different than the bas kol.
Once we’ve agreed that Chaza”l’s position is not universal, we can discuss who is or isn’t excluded.
Which (kind of) people, in your opinion, shouldn’t ever get married (that would not violate Chazal or halacha)?
It is also apparent in some of the meforshim that one can, through his choices, follow a path different than the bas kol.
Do the meforshim saying one can follow a different path than the bas kol say so approvingly or disapprovingly?
There are numerous reasons why not everyone should get married; you could start a thread that would include many posts under the title “Why it is assur for certain people to marry”. Anyone with a little seichel can figure it out.
What I think is worse than being picky, is all these men & women in their 40’s & 50’s (some even 30’s) whom have just given up on marriage. Where are the parents/family members to get them the help they need?
Maybe they have been introduced to the wrong kind of women? For a trivial example if a guy only wanted to marry a woman with blue eyes and you introduce him to 100 women with brown eyes there will not be a match. Now replace eye color with something actually significant, such as life goals.
Ofcourse: The fellows that you are talking about – do you happen to know how old they are now? I think that many of these failed dates (and marriages) stem from the guys being too young. Even is they are extremely frum, 19 – 22 is really too young, particularly for a man. By the time a lot of these young men reach the age of 30, they have been married for many years and have large families. I think at some point, some of them realize that the have so much responsibility and it was heaped upon them at such a young age that they have never had the chance to “live” and they start to feel suffocated. Just my opinion.
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